Found this on mugglenet.com:
Half-Blood, Full Hero: Part 2Interview with The Former Professor Who Will Not Be Named
Brandon Ford: Hello everyone. I am sitting here beholden unto the presence of a man full of contradiction and full of mystery, a man whom, despite great personal danger to himself, has agreed to grant us an exclusive interview. I am speaking of, and lifting my personal ban on his name for this interview out of respect, The Former Professor Who Will Not Be Named... SEVERUS SNAPE! I submit for your entertainment and consideration: MY DAY WITH THE FORMER PROFESSOR WHO WILL NOT BE NAMED! So, why not say hello to all the people out there in editorial land?
Severus Snape: What? Is this thing on? Hello?
BF: Mr. Snape, can you hear us?
SS: OF COURSE I CAN HEAR YOU! This form of muggle communication isn't as complex as the subtle science of Potion-making...
BF: Okay... okay, let's just calm down. Welcome to The Underground Lake. We are very... umm... honored to have you here with us to share your side of the story.
SS: Look, can we hurry this up? I have... things to do.
BF: (mutters under breath) Like maim and torture...
SS: What was that?
BF: Nothing! Nothing at all. I think I'd like to start out with the most important question - THE question that has been on all minds since Book One and, unlike certain authors, I believe you'll answer this question.
SS: Alright, lay it on me.
BF: The question we've all been waiting for: boxers or briefs?
SS: What? Well... I... that's a bit personal...
BF: The public must know!!!
SS: Well to be quite frank, though it is none of your business, I have taken of late to wearing... (barely audible)... thongs.
BF: No wonder you're always in a bad mood.
SS: Can we get to a serious question?
BF: I'll be asking the questions here, thank you very much. That was just a little test question to make sure the veritaserum I slipped into your water was working!
SS: WHAT?! I should kill you where you stand!
BF: If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine! THE PEN IS MIGHTIER THAN THE WAND!
SS: Oh brother...
BF: Let's talk about your family.
SS: What is there to discuss? My mother was a witch, my father... (swallows and winces)
BF: Ooh... sounds like somebody has some daddy issues.
SS: No... I... for me this is a dad issue... DEAD ISSUE!
BF: Really! So your father beat you, so YOU KILLED HIM!!
SS: No I dadn't... DIDN'T! I... no comment.
BF: Let the record show that Mr. Snape does not deny that he killed his father. That was just a theory I had been working on I... are you crying?
SS: NO! (grabs a tissue, blows his nose) I have seasonal allergies!
BF: I see. Alright, next question and this is very important: WHO IN THE WORLD ARE YOU WORKING FOR?
SS: If I told you, I'd have to kill you. Not to mention, I am a skilled Occlumens and even your Veritaserum would be unable to fight through my advanced skills.
BF: Really? Answer the question.
SS: I work for one person: ME! That's who. The sooner you people realize that, the easier it'll be.
BF: Why did you kill Dumbledore?
SS: Because he asked me to! (covers his mouth)
BF: You heard it, folks! He admits he was acting under Dumbledore's orders.
SS: That may be the case, but who is to say I'm not working for the Dark Lord?
BF: Too true. But since we are on the subject of the Dark Lord, I'd like to address something. Why is Peter Pettigrew living at your house? Are you two, like, bosom buddies?
SS: I loathe and despise Wormtail. The Dark Lord trusts me to watch that sniveling worm... tail.
BF: Really. Did it ever occur to you that maybe Wormtail is living with you so that HE can keep an eye on YOU?
SS: ...
BF: That's what I thought. Okay, our time is growing very short, so I have only a few more questions. First, were you in love with Lily Potter?
SS: (as impossible as it may seem, he blushes, which is odd considering he is SO pale) She... was just some filthy little Mud...
BF: I will not have that kind of language in my presence.
SS: Fine. I detested her. Always so smart. Always so popular. Always so pretty...
BF: The Snape doth protest too much, me thinks. Since that one seems obvious, I already know the answer to my next question, which is why you hated James so much. My final question, and this is what I think we all what to know: WHY DO YOU HATE HARRY? WHAT DID HE EVER DO TO YOU?
SS: He was born.
BF: I'm afraid that's not good enough. To help get the answer out of you, I have brought in an expert: famous television psychiatrist, Dr. Phil!
Dr. Phil: Hello Brandon, Professor Snape. My analysis of Professor Snape indicates that because of the abuse he suffered at the hands of his father and the apparent lack of support from his mother, he harbored a large distaste for companionship, especially women. He then met Lily Potter, who became the first girl who was ever remotely nice to him. He interpreted his gratitude toward her as feelings of attraction. Well, not only were these feelings not reciprocated but the same girl he had an attraction towards ended up in the hands of his arch nemesis. Upon telling the prophecy to Voldemort, and subsequently discovering that the prophecy meant the death of the only woman he ever had feelings for, he felt remorse which conflicted with his anger at the two. Their death meant that, once again, he could never have Lily. Harry's presence because he looks JUST like his father is a constant reminder of the torture he suffered at the hands of James, but he is also a walking reminder of what he missed out on with Lily.
SS: Astute observation. AVADA KEDAVRA!
(Dr. Phil falls dead. TFPWWNBN rises and Apparates out of the interview room.)
BF: Well, that was a little excessive.
END OF TRANSMISSION
Monday, October 24, 2005
My first try in fan fiction.I hope this works!
Inspired by Fan Fiction,i decided to try and write a chapter for Empire.Here goes:
Chapter 1:Thoughts and Conversations
How can life go on when already ,it has stopped for me?
These were the words Eragon thought as he strapped on his belt and wore his boots.The weight on his belt without Zaroc seemed too light and reminded him painfully of Murtagh and his story.
It had been a week since the battle in the Hadarac Desert.The funeral of Hrothgar had not occured yet;it was custom for the dwaves to let their King have at least 14 days of mourning before the funeral proceedings could continue.Already ,it was the 7th day.
For Eragon,it had been an emotional week.Murtagh's story had left him shaken,although he tried not to show it to his fellow friends.Saphira,on the other hand,radiated concern every time he stirred from his sleep,and constantly tried to give Eragon some of her strength.Eragon,however always declined the offer.
Selena.
Who was she ?Why did she fall for Morzan,of all people?Why could she be thinking in her mind when she had Murtagh?
All these questions kept invading his mind as he picked his bow and quiver of arrows that he hung by the bedside.He kept pondering the questions he had as he exited the tent that served as his living quaters and traveled down towards the largest tent that was King Orrin's meeting room.Nasuada ,Orik ,Arya and King Orrin were already there.Making eye-contact with Arya,he asked in his mind,Where have Saphira and Roran gone?
Arya repiled,Your cousin has gone down to gather the villagers that came with him for they want to meet the King as well.As for Saphira,she has gone hunting.
Eragon nodded.He turned towards Nasuada and King Orrin and asked them,"What is our next course of action now?"
Nasuada turned towards Eargon with a solemn eye.She said,"After King Hrothgar's funeral,we will plan what to do next.Until then,we have no choice but to try and find a solution ."
Eragon then asked,"Then in that case,i would like to be excused."
Nasuada nodded in agreement.Ever since the battle,she had looked even more drawn and haggered.The leadership of the Varden and it's problems were clearly taking a toll on her.Nevertheless,Eragon had never seen another great leader before her father Ajihad and Nasuada.
Eragon then left the tent and went to look for Saphira,who had finished her hunting and was waiting for him at his tent for their ride across the air.
King Orrin said as he observed the brown haired Rider retreat out of the tent,"Even though he is the first of the Dragon Riders,he is still sixteen.When i was sixteen,i was never as serious as he was ."
Nasuada said,"He is no ordinary teenager,he is also our only hope if we are to beat Galbatorix ."
Arya added,"He is not as serious as our elf children.Moreover,he has suffered more than any sixteen year old I know.Nobody should face so much tragedy in his life."
Nasuada looked at Arya curiously and said,"Our hopes all lie with Eragon,and i hope that the latest shock in his life wouldn't destroy him as well."
Arya replied,"Aye,Nasuada,and i know that Eragon can take tragedy and make in his strength.This makes him a strong Rider and one of the few capable of defeating Galbatorix himself."
Ladies and gents,once you have finshed reading this chapter,pls write your comments on the tagboard itself
Sunday, October 23, 2005
OMG.
OMG.
OMG.OMG.
i just did one of the worst things i should have done.It is one of the most despicable,most evil thing i have done.
Are u sure u want to hear wat i did?It's really bad.
ok ,i'll say it.
I BROKE A MIRROR.
OK FINE I SAID IT,I JUST BROKE A MIRROR!!!!!!!
A SMALL MIRROR BUT A MIRROR!!!
AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i am SO going to bad girl hell.Seven years of bad luck here i come.
i was just happily cleaning out my shelf and i just pulled out some pamphlets from my shelf wen i dropped the mirror that was in my shelf.
CRACK,went the mirror.
BOOM,went champa's heart
silence could be heard.
i am so dead.
Saturday, October 22, 2005
Yesterday once more...NO WAY!
here i am again,talking to myself
sitting at the red light.
both hands on the wheel,how i'm supposed to feel
so much running through my mind.
Hillary Duff's "The Getaway" Song is right now stuck in my mind as i sit her typing this post.
yet this song also represented my state of mind yesterday.
Mrs tan had asked me to be in charge of the girls mark list and to make sure i get all the girls to finish signing by the time the bell at 1230 rang.So i did ,and vowed to myself that i 'll make sure all the girls had their name signed on the papers.
i only managed to finish it 5 mins AFTER the bell rang.
Why?
Due to the facts that some selfish girls had hogged the paper until a very late time.If u are reading this,u now who u are.I sincerely wonder if they are doing this to spite me or to delay time.
because of this ,i tried to rush the girls.
their only response was to look at me with this very irritated expression of theirs and said"come on,we are not only checking for one person."
It got to me,especially after looking at that bitch's face.She always looks at me as though i am very immature and not worth knowing.
Please!Just because u are a councillor does NOT mean u can deem whether i'm immature to u.
like i said before,people who delude themselves into thinking they are mature are the most immature.
Alvin was also looking at the girls sheet.When i asked him to check the boys sheet instead,he said something that got to me.i forgot what.
I GAVE UP THEN.
i shouted at him a bit.He and sam told me to RELAX.
RELAX!?!?!?!?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO RELAX IF THIS IS HOW U BEHAVE!?!?!?!??!
Is it because i am an unofficial monitress that everyone mocks me?you can see it in the faces of both boys and girls .They hate me and my ways of operating.
in fact,now i think about it ,the whole school is mocking me.
you can see it how they behave in front of me.their f***ing faces .
the whole sec3 especially.
i think i'm better off dead.
Saturday, October 15, 2005
Take the quiz:
"What'>http://www.zenhex.com/quiz.php?id=3958">"What animal-spirit lives inside of you?"
WolfInside of you, the spirit of the wolf is sleeping.The wolf is a lonesome traveler in the lonely prairies, the deep woods and the never-ending deserts of ice and snow of the Rocky Mountains, Alaska,the North pole and so on...The wolf is fine with being on his own and managing his days.So are you.But be aware of, that wolves also live in groups often , to support each other and to defend against their enemies with greater success.
Thursday, October 13, 2005
Take the quiz:
"What'>http://www.zenhex.com/quiz.php?id=7871">"What teen celebrity are you?"
Avrilyour a punk that cant quit smoking
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Take the quiz:
"Which'>http://www.zenhex.com/quiz.php?id=32749">"Which wolf creature are you?"
Fallen wolfYou are an Angelic wolf who has lost your purpose and fallen. Now you are on earth exploring and helping people. You will always help out and love to make the world a better place, and keep on helping everyone unitl you find your perpose and earn your wings.
Take the quiz:
"What'>http://www.zenhex.com/quiz.php?id=8766">"What Type Of Dragon Are You?"
Crystal DragonFun-loving and good natured, you are a responsible ruler. You make castles form ice and love to watch the stars on clear, cold nights. You prefer to talk rather than fight and your breth weapon is a treacherous cone of glowing ice shards.
Take the quiz:
"Your'>http://www.zenhex.com/quiz.php?id=9337">"Your Greek Goddess Soulmate (With Pictures) Girls Only"
Goddess ArtemisYou are most like Artemis. She was known as the Mistress of Animals and the protectress of children, but she was also a huntress and the goddess who could bring death with her arrows. She is a strong willed and powerful goddess, a female who could punish injustices against the gods with ferocious and deadly accuracy. And as an Olympian goddess, Artemis was free to pursue her interests, and was often found frolicking in the forests, accompanied by a band of nymphs.Myths and legends show that the goddess Artemis was aloof and free-spirited, and not constrained by husband or hearth.
Take the quiz:
"Are'>http://www.zenhex.com/quiz.php?id=1769">"Are you truly a book freak?"
Book FreakI will make this description short so you can get back to your new book. You love books.
HARRY POTTER!I LOVE U !
I'm artemis!
Take the quiz:
"Which'>http://www.zenhex.com/quiz.php?id=2426">"Which Greek god/goddess are you?"
ArtemisYou are Artemis! Artemis was the virgin Goddess of the Hunt.She helped women in childbirth but also brought sudden death with her arrows.Artemis and her brother Apollo were the children of Zeus and Leto. In some versions of their myth, Artemis was born first and helped her mother to deliver Apollo.
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
Have you guys ever felt slightly bothered by some guy?
WELL,for the past year i have.
Aaron Chia Guang Hui.
how did i get his full name?thank the class register i picked up
in l tan's class.
He keeps calling my name in such a sick way.it gives me goosebumps
to hear him do so.and he keeps proclaiming his "love"for me in front
of every one in the school.like today for eg.he kept trying to sit next to
me in the lunch room.i was disgusted.u do not just go and attack a girl
like that.
ok,maybe i am slightly traditionalistic but i like a guy who is more gentlemanly.
aaron,if u are reading this ,i have nth against u ,ok?
although i admit,he looks a cross between a hamster and a mushroom.
a cute combination which can make lots of girls,especially bimbotic ones,chase him.
i just have to be on my guard o make sure he doesn't like me.
right?
