how smart are we really?
that's what i really want to know.today when talking gossiping in a group we asked sessh something.for your sake i will not repeat it due to sexual references.
he did not know what the answer was.in fact it was so absurd that a sec3 boy would not know anything of the subject that we laughed ouur heads off.
after most of our group left,.it was just sessh and i .i asked him,"are u sure u dun noe what they were talking about?"
"i do know."was his surprising answer.
he den said that the subject was lame.
it got me really thinking,how much do we know?
not only that how much do we not know?
it really reflects on our ignorance when we think that someone does not know and thus make fun of the person.hasn't anyone thought how much do you really know about another person?
thus i made apromise to myself,and this blog that i will never assume anything of a person.
kurt vonnegurt once said,"we are what we pretend to be."
does it really apply to this ?
someone tag my board to help me answer this.
but i do know with confirmation
'my thoughts create my world."
p.s.this is a quotation from clemanceu ,the "tiger "from history.this is refering to the US president woodrow wilson 's fourteen points.(refer to history after ww1)
"mr wilson talks too much about his fourteen points .why even God Almighty has only ten."
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
i just realized that me being me...i cannot leave such canvas so empty.so i shall begin to start by me describing myself.i may sound as though i have a big ego,and that's quite true.
my personality...hmm....this thing is a big contractidictory issue with myself.i'm polite and nice,i hateful and rude.i love myself ,i hate myself,sometimesi think the world is against me,sometimes,i think i picked a fight with the world.i sometimes feel that ppl are against me.i also feel that i picked a fight for no reason.i love to think,i hate to study.i love tv ,i hate the influence it has on me,i love my music,i hate it for distracting me.i love to write ,i can't write abt my feelings.
sigh.
i love to feel life's movement,i hate to feel so much emotion.
i contradict myself too easily.
well anyway,i just wanted to say that if u treat me nice,i'll be nice to you.but if u don't,the claws come out.REALLY COME OUT.
i love to love,i hate to love.
Am i fish or fowl?or neither?
do i have a place in this world?what role am i to play?
so anyway.not only that,i am plump.no wait,i might as well say it.FAT.
my big fat ass is gonna come cruising through that door and everybody would be all OMIGOD! HERE SHE COMES!!!!and exaggerate their avoidance.
BLEAH! NOT GOOD.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
seriously......
today was not too good a day.i realized that early today when yj was acting grumpy.when i say grumpy,i mean really grumpy.
sigh.............can't write anymore.
Friday, August 18, 2006
is it by nurture or by nature which we are raised by?
i was watching child of our time yesterday and unfortunately though i love their experiments eg.fish actually learn stuff from watching tv even thought their brains are as small as a grain of rice,i beacme more depressed.do kids really learn so much from their surroundings?if so ,am i abnormal as i don't fit in?
once i was talking to xin hui and she asked if i was muslim.
"no why ?"
"cause u dun look chinese"
"i don't?"
"yeah u don't talk like a singaporean and also u look more japanese."
erm....am i all that weird for school?i was under the impression they liked ppl with differences.
ah well,den i talked to my fren mei mei from 3e1.i am a bit worried abt her.she seems to have problems with a teacher and also she has these cut by her wrist.i wanted to know if she was alright but i was always too polite to do so.
so we talked again and she was soo sweet!she said that she 's happy that i was her senior and she can talk to me abt anything.she also reminded me that she too was eccentric and that i did not have to worry too much abt it.
"after all,if they wanted a chance they would have taken it."
i was touched.
to the core.
i will miss her when i go. and my eldds members.we all have stories that we can't tell.but that's what unites us together.
ps.i changed my skin!this is so cool and i was lucky to find it!
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
hey u.
i have written many letters in my mind to u.always ,u seem to remember who i was,and we were good frens again.i would call u names ,u would reply something else that was remarkably stupid and we would start fighting all over again.
just like the good old times
unfortunately,all was lost .u now treat me as a burden, fool and a waste of your time.i will then be hurt and wonder what was wrong with me,thus breaking my self again.in my mind i ask why when we were good frens,did we separate?you ,in my mind would always look at me sadly and say nothing.but i know what u were abt to say.
i know i may be slightly delusional now ,but i see u nearly everywhere i go. i would imagine that one day u might recognize your folly and turn to me to be frens again.
but den i know that will never be the case.we are too diff.
i would still like u to know i love you still.that feeling has never been the same with another.yours would always hurt the most.
no matter where u are,do remember me,will u?that's all i'm asking for.
i know u won't listen ,the silence is too overbearing for u to be there.........
or maybe the silence is just u listening without a word.
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
just a quick note to say that i for some reason got into one of my moods again and feeling very lonesome,i got fries with bbq sauce.it's sad that i feel this way some times....
many of you ppl who read my blog know what kind of nutcase i am.for those who don't,i'm a severe nutcase .very severe.i had the same feeling blike last time.the feeling u get that crawls up behind u and get u before u know it.
i have misgivings of the type of person i am,the mark i would leave on ppl 's lives and stuff.i wanna know if someone at least thinks of me and cares for me as well.
Crack.i'mn talking crack again.
must stop before i cry.....
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
this is fun!i am actually at a computer writing and listening to a fantastic soundtrack:forbidden city:potrait of an empress. i love the first song when a visitor sings of her journey to china and listens to the discussions of the empress dowager......
beware the dragon lady!!!!she cuts ppl up to eat for chicken soup.
you should see what has happened today....since today is the national day celebrations,mr boo had to take us under his wing and hold a lit lesson:what today's speech means......
BORING!!!!!!It was therefore a great time of joy when he finished and we got on to our prog......yet i seee the same girls dancing again......look above to my reaction to the dances.....thank god for the wushu ....otherwise i would have died of boredom.......
i have no idea
why another he is in my mind again....
so what if i have gotten my revenge?
i wish we were back to our old relationship again......
i really wanted to apologize ......
but should i really?
ah well...........................
BEWARE THE DRAGON LADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!SHE IS THE CURSE OF CHINA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Saturday, August 05, 2006
debate...i kinda missed it...i ;m also pissed off abt the fact that though david and ophelia did not participate in the mayor debate series,they got the certs as well as the others and the book vouchers!!!!
the green eyed monster has taken over me again.and i feel kinda ...pleased...
and proud that i am actually human.i kinda thought i was but a cold blooded fish.
i miss drama too.and a selfish part of me wants to be a star....
Friday, August 04, 2006
i dreamt about him again.
it was much worse than before...
i was lying in the bed,next to him .he had put his arms around me.....
it was very scary.i haven't really thought of him for four years.
then comes a call and everything changes.
i hated him,and still.....
what is the voice of pain?
is it the brain that shouts all the reasons why u should hate someone....
on the dull ache of the heart that signifies hurt?and even .........hope?
as much as i hate to admit it,i miss him.
michael.
