WELL

that was unreal.

TOO UNREAL.

HE and i had a civil conversation.

for once .

WOW.

well, today i had to go to Mdm ongs house to bai nian.

i sound so weary of it huh?

maybe cause after all my four years , i thought i was rid of it all,and now i was back?

luckily,the main pepertrators were not there today. Phew. i won't forget what u did to me.

What did i ever to to u ppl to result in this treatment? is it cause i'm too strange ? my mannerisms too much for u ppl? what did u ppl see me as? a goody two shoes? a person who thinks too much of herself? what am i to you ppl? did u ever like me in anyway? are u ppl jealous? or hate me fully?

rants done.


anyway, after more or less torture done (it wasn't tt bad,ppl gambled, ying jie,parri and i dicussed comics listened to getbackers opening and closing theme.),we left.
parri and i ,along with viha,will be watching a movie on thursday.

i came back with the com to myself.THANK THE GREAT GODS!

i decided it was time for the cold war to stop and started talking to ppl. like HIM. and marco.

marco ,poor boy, got a b3 for english. and a total of 20 for l1r5.

though i feel glad he did well for german, i am happy i did better than he did for english. which brings me to my huge question.....was the english grade that hard tt very few ppl got a1s?
i'm not gloating abt the paper. i was ,after all one of the ppl tt worried constantly abt that paper, thanks to l tan who convinced me totally tt english was the hardest subject to pass. with her stories of ppl who failed english though with a very good english background, i fretted day and night abt it ,resulting in a very weird dream involving a malay auntie on a bicycle chasing after me with a meat chopper.

i am now convined tt the ppl, bless their cracked souls in that dark dreary room in cambridge (cue: everyone wonders what on earth is she dreaming abt.)were so devoid of happiness tt my compo somehow cracked them into laughing so much they didn't care abt what grade they gave me. it's a fluke.

back to topic. marco plans to take tourism ,which did take me for a surprise,considering his dream to become big in the media business.


and i talked to HIM. WELL.

we talked abt our futures and current probs.

i asked him if i was a mean person.

"No,but your mannerisms tend to make ppl misunderstand u"
okay, tt explains a lot .

i asked him abt his life. he said tt he hated his school.
why?

he doesn't fit in.


wait .....rewind a bit....he doesn't what??????????????????????


shocker of the year. he doesn't fit in! finally someone who has the same experiences as me!

which considering he used to be popular in primary school is a huge change.

i guess its this international school background . we expect different things.

anyway,he asked me what i was up to,i told him. and also asked me abt the courses i' want.

interestingly, he wanted the same course i did, but couldn't do so cause he was in ip.

who knew both of us were so diff and yet so common?

i guess when i was young and had a huge crush for him i sensed tt.

but tts all in the past.

lastly, when we parted words, he said it was a pity we didn't talk tt much after all those years.

now tt i think abt it, i was a jerk. and so was he.

fools in chaos called reality?

i dunno. i pretended i didn't care tt he didn't talk to me. i guess i hide my true feelings . on the outside ppl see amano ginji in chibi mode (getbackers), always dancing around all happy and stuff. i was happy, i was okay with life i was blessed in some ways.

inside ,i'm like fay d flourite(tsubasa reservoir chronicles). i see myself as a criminal, a person who wanted to die and escape. still an idiot who didn't like to attach myself to ppl.

Maybe ,i am fay. fay always was the most lighthearted of the group .













i dunno. what a quagmire i'm in!

Maybe i am fay