Paranoia; An RH. M Production

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

today was absolutely freaking funny.....it was the day of the halloween party at melvin's house and fiona and i went to humaira's house to get dressed and made up. humaira did fiona's makeup and made her look really pretty! she did me too and when i looked at myself in the mirror, i looked like Lan. Heh,for once looked as pretty as my step sis.

anyway we got to melvin's house and i threatened melvin with my sword irigana. heh..why? i dunno, just wanted to.
on the plus side , i did look good. hahahahahaha....self praise! and we watched the craft and played with tarot cards...by the way, melvin can cook stuff.
we had some of his spaghetti and it was good.but then again, part was his sister;s help.

thus the skinny-

best costume: fiona( dressed as a very good dead indian princess)
potential good costume but did not elaborate further- siti and liwen( siti as a really kinda hot witch and liwen as a really interesting superman.
most dainty costume- Cindy and Humaira ( cindy as a really pretty princess and humaira as a dead ballerina)
Best acting- Carmen (dressed as a mi student ghost who died due to her resukts)
Best mage- Me.( dressed as a warrior mage)

and there u have it.
thanks to melvin , my prize is an emerald( I THINK)and crystal bead bracelet.
wearing it on my hand now......heh, self praise and self prettiness!

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

another note, this time to someone who i thought i knew four years ago.

to : YOU.

i remember all the notes you wrote me. about your trips, your life, your love for planes. you used to promise that someday we'll go in search of that promise, and i used to hope against all hope that it was due to something more, something deeper. i sometimes dreamed of what might happen if that were to actually materialize.we used to phone each each and talk for two or more hours, and our msn conversations were almost until midnight.

even after you left, i was optimistic that at least we'll still be frens, still be talking to each other.

talking to each other? what a load of crap i was dreaming about. now , with you leading an almost even more superior life than mine, what with you and your fan girls hovering over you and guys who are almost as good as you looked, you totally ignore your old fren. everytime i try to talk to you, you're always busy and it's been months since i talked to you .

which was funny , you know, cause that was what i was most paranoid about, losing our frenship.

then again. perhaps i should have seen it. when we talked your superior ego would come up and you always keep asking if buff guys were better.it always distured me, cause i knew you were cute no matter what. then you lost th glasses, which made you even more cuter, but still distured over your obsession over your looks. your love for almost naked pictures was another matter , and i hated it when you showed your love for it.

it always put me off, you know, your obsession over that. so perhaps this was a sign telling me that we were never meant to be.

you know what's even funnier? even though you're not in my life anymore, i'm still in love with your idol, robbie williams. and for that matter , mariah carey. they were better companions than you were and they were the ones that stuck by me all this while.

so guess what? it's time i changed myself. no more obsessing over you, who has changed so much i can never see my old fren. it's time i start to really get over you. i dun care what it takes to do so, but hey, you can so totally tell when i say bye bye to you.

remember that robbie williams song you used to sing? she's the one?

well, we used to be free, but if there somebody calling me on?

you're not the one.

it's time i moved on.

goodbye, milord Cooper

ps. i'll keep the cd and dvd you gave me, thank you. your notes are all lost and i think even that ticket for that movie is gone too.

perhaps it was meant to be.

Sunday, October 28, 2007

heheheh.....today as a double special....i , ha thuc champa /rhiannonmerlin will be entertaining you with a DOUBLE FEATURE TODAY.( while stocks last!only available today, 28 Oct 2007!)

ahem....lets start with the first feature.....WHAT I DID TODAY!

well, u kinda can see this photo was taken in a dressing room....so this means....yes, the sweet humaira, the loud and proud Fiona and the weirdo kid champa went shopping today.....for a Halloween party held by the " Dragon Wizard" Prince Melvin of the royal Moo Family .we were looking for costumes to wear so that we can look GLAMOROUS.( "if you ain't got no money take your broke ass home..." )see Melvin! we can make an effort! fyifyi is so gonna be the belle of the ball, cause heheheheheh...she is! it's kinda obvious what i would be dressing as, so i will have no need of mentioning here.

today though wasn't really a fantastic day for shopping. most of the shops were closed and it started POURING in the middle of trying to find a place to shop.
on the plus side, we found many interesting curios on the way, such as a pair of hot pink lips that was actually a PHONE! omg! like yeah!

with the rain still not stopping we decided to take action. this included three girls braving the wind and the rain , only to not only get soaked but also get splashed on by the numerous cars and buses. now i love the rain, but being splashed dirty water on is not really what i want to be on a Sunday afternoon. in the end, cause of the numerous shops being closed, we resorted to desperate measures eg. we went to OG to see shoes.

at the children's section , tt's when the fun began. see we happened vto be in the children's section and we found a really pretty dress that seemed to, surprisingly, fit Fiona.

it's true!!! u can confirm it with the photo above! tt girl wearing the white fluffy dress is really fyifyi! hilarious?
sadly the dress cost 109 dollars, a stunner seeing as this dress is for kids.so we left it alone.

in the end we didn't get much clothes but then again, part two of the shopping trip is tomorrow! so dun fret yet!

here concludes part one of today's double feature.

here is part two.

sigh....
it's been 7 months since i started school and already one year is gone. my school year is over. my frens in jcs are taking their h1 subjects now and rushing for pw while some of my frens are battling for their places to remain in school . my fav motherly classmate Kalajayanti Jayagomar is leaving the school. i will miss her. she was like a motherly queen to all of us.

i wonder....how would we all be like in 10 years time if we ever get a reunion? heh, i can already see the scene in front of me.

guys will come dressed in tgeir suits while the ladies will either be dress in pretty dresses or professional suits. melvin would most probably be the best dressed of the group, wearing a suit that would give dick lee's suit a run for his money. fyifyi would, for once, be dressed nicely and finally learn to be a lady while guys rush around trying to serve her drinks and hoping, just hoping, that she'll be single. some of the girls will compare their success stories, with pam coming up tops due to her job as PM of Singapore and vanessa coming a close second as a famous talk show host.the other girls will be teachers, journalists, counsellors, lawyers. some would already be moms, and some may bring their spouse or partner to the reunion. the guys , meanwhile, will talk about their careers as well, with melvin being a successful recording artist and laurent being a rock star. some may start their own companies, like navin who may have become the youngest ceo in his time.
some may wonder just how much time has passed them, while some may wish for the times to come again. faces who we thought we'll never See again will come back, like melissa, who has lived for 10 years in the States, only to come back to singapore to surprise us. we may wish to see many people who we may have lost contact with, or perhaps take the opportunity to correct past wrongs. max , for example, will try to plead forgiveness from fyifyi for having bullied her , and fyifyi, who has become pretty and successful, WILL REFUSE HIM! hahahahahahah!!!!

okay i was kidding, fyifyi will most probably forgive the dumbass.

and what would i be doing?

sitting around and watching the chaos around me happen, recording it and see how much change has made us men , or women of the society. wonder at ms low for having a family and stuff.

and of course, recording it into my daily thoughts.

change affects humans so much.perhaps, it is time to learn and embrace it, in order to find out just how much does change affect us.

heh....i'm dreaming off into my thoughts again.....let's see how far i can go.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Champa! Why did it have to be Champa?

Which movie was this quote from?

says it all really.

only one more day till the end of school for the year.
fun fun fun..........

i'm freaking tired lately, is it because i spend so much absorbing so much from my surroundings? can't be, i usually forget stuff easily.

lalalalalalala.....

we finished watching vacancy today....
i kept shouting advice to the screen....my classmates probably wanna kill me for disturbing them throughout the movie....

i'm slightly jealous of those that got selected for the ne council and student council.heck...i get jealous of anything and everything. perhaps this is my weakness ? jealousy?

to be frank this may not be off the mark. i've often felt jealousy against my frens....how their lives seem so much better, how they are so much more talented than i am.

i am such a rock. i rmbr there was once i had a convo with my shrink (not real shrink , more like the person tt actually drives me crazy) and he says tt i do have emotions, otherwise when he drives me mad, i won't kill him or feel anything.

to me however, it's just another play.i'm pretending to be normal and human so that people won't see that i am just an emotionless rock. i dun cry over sad shows. i dun get happy over happy news . hell, i dun even think my anger towards others is real.
if this continues, i'll most probably never fall in love and stuff

true love? i'll be lucky if i do feel my feelinga going haywire over a guy. so far? NONE.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

a funny thing happened today which kinda corresponds with what happened last week.
i think i might have forgotten to tell the readers of this blog, but then again, this thing is not really like a discussion topic or something.

see in M.I. , we have a kid who's kinda popular in our school.
Yu Sheng may be austistic ,but he's a math genius. He's quite famous in ur school for having said many comments (quite randomly) out loud in PUBLIC , being a curious but really cute kid walking around school. unfortunately the kid doesn't know what's going on, and can throw tantrums when he wants to, so sometimes things can turn, in the blink of an eye, into a channel 8 tv drama .

take the example of the flag raising ceremony last week.

if you were one of the mortified 600 odd students singing the national anthem,some of u may understand how mortified i was when half way through the dull drones of the students of millennia trying to sing the national anthem , a planitive voice from the side of the track can be heard ," wait for me!!! stop the music!! STOP! WAIT FOR ME!"

this can't be happening to me early in the morning, thinks i as i close my eyes, trying to shake off the dream. unfortunately it was no dream.

he ran in front of the OM mr singh and told him to stop. some kids giggled, but others didn't know where to look. i was one of them.

heh

anyway he started another channel 8 drama today. this time concerning ms low.
as i already told the story to a few ppl, i'm not really in the mood to rehash it all over again.

you'll find out later....heh

so...what happened today?
i dunno. i had gp and we were watching a slasher flick called vacancy and everyone in the front row was kinda creeped out about it. heh, talk about stupid horror show.
i was entertained but unlike my frens who were really acting like girls, i was coolly watching the show.
at least until the middle part.

" okay honey these evil ppl are coming in, i want you to try the bathroom window to escape." says sappy male lead Luke Wilson.

"But we already tried that one and it's nailed shut!" whines usually cool girl kate beckinsale. "

" okay can u try one more time?"

kate runs to the bathroom.

at that moment, a really calm thought came into my mind and said, " next thing you'll know , as she tries to pry the nails out the face of the killers are watching her at the window."

kate pries the nails without much suscess, as she does that wait .......is it???

girls in the front row: (obviously it's the face of the killer) AAAAAAAAAARGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
me:(punching a fist in mid air) YES!!!! I KNEW IT!!!!!!!WHOOHOO!!!

(really i did say this. or rather shout it. ask the class)

well the slasher flick was kinda cliched.....

ah well.

by the way, I got promoted. thanks very much but i'm worried now about my frens. some may be retained, some may be asked to leave.
i'm worried as to which is which.

i dun wanna change class. i like my class.

change: inevitable , like hitsuzen; or avoidable (like an accident waiting to happen)?

by the way....

Your Learning Style: Enthusiastic and Imaginative

You are always up for an intellectual challenge - in fact, hard subjects are actually easiest for you.

You Should Study:

Advertising

Astronomy

Biology

Chemistry

Finance

Journalism

Marketing

Physics

What Should You Study?

You Are 80% Psychic

You are so very psychic.

But you already predicted that, didn't you?

You have "the gift" - and you use it daily to connect with others.

You're very tapped into the world around you...

Just make sure to use your powers for good!

Are You Psychic?

You Don't Have a Boyfriend Because You are Too Shy

When a guy gets to know you, he finds a great catch

Problem is... you're too shy for most guys to get to know.

From meeting someone to dating, you usually have your guard up.

And while you're just holding back, it makes you seem like you've got something to hide.

Why Don't You Have a Boyfriend?

Your Dominant Intelligence is Linguistic Intelligence

You are excellent with words and language. You explain yourself well.

An elegant speaker, you can converse well with anyone on the fly.

You are also good at remembering information and convicing someone of your point of view.

A master of creative phrasing and unique words, you enjoy expanding your vocabulary.

You would make a fantastic poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, or translator.

What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

What? i was bored!

Sunday, October 21, 2007

meet my pretty sword, Irigana.I just aquired her at the Land of toys( aka Toys 'R' Us).

From the above greeting you can tell i went to a toy shop. indeed it was fun. i went out with melvin today to not only research on Halloween, but also find stuff to decorate his home with. we found minimal stuff, but already i forgotten what we bought. such is the idiotic mind or a short term memory loss suffragette . we had fun at the shop, having stupid foam sword fights ( with me trashing the poor kid ) and just laughing at the stupid stunts he can come up with.

in case u dunno , this is melvin.

anyway i'm getting really worried about tomorrow, cause it's the day we get our scripts. this is the day we'll find out if we can get promoted or not.

i'm really afraid.

judgement day is upon me.

i dunno what am i afraid for. am i just getting caught up in the craze of being afraid , or really genuinely afraid of something? this feeling i have, it's not as bad as the o level results, but i begin to fear it might be worse.

sigh.....i'll be going off to post on the class blog now , cause i wanna encourage the class.

07a2. have courage.

Saturday, October 20, 2007

darkness. fumbles. blood. screams.
hatred. pity. sadness. heartless.
pain. hurt. love . dreams.
monsters . demons. angels . faeries.
loneliness. wickedness. mystery. light.

this is what my blur of emotions are showing me now. i'm so afraid i might not get promoted. my frens tell me that's impossible. but still the seeds of paranoia are lingering in me.

heh. if i should get a title, it'll be paranoia. i'm the queen of paranoia. no one views things as extremely as i do.

today i had a fun time in orchard with parrims and yj. after a while of chasing, we went for lunch and then proceeded to cold storage to find drinks. unfortunately champa ( the idiotic side having kicked in) was fascinated and distracted by the diary section , especially, for some unknown reason, the cheese section.

me: whee! look at all the cheese here!!!wow...there's so many! cheddar, parmesan...
Ying Jie: erm.... can we get out of here?
parrims: yeah chums, let's get out...
me: wait! there's a red chili cheese! who knew there was red chilli cheese! and lavender cheese!and strong cheese! hey parrims look! gloucester cheese!
parrims (by now getting really interested): wow, look at all the cheese here, some look kinda mushy.
ying jie: eah u have a point.
me(now on the point on insanity): yay! swiss cheese! wow! it's so holey! geddit...holey, holy? can we worship this thing? and look! blue cheese! ee. it looks as though it has mould on it...

thus, if anybody reading this recalls three insane kids in the cold storage section of takashimaya at the cheese section giggling over cheese, it was me and two others.

then as we went to pay for the drink, i was attracted again....to the frozen food section.

me: whee! look , yj! shisamo!
yj: why are we doing this again?

after that we went to borders and kino . both girls agree that it was pointless of us having never found out about the wondrous new age section in kino. we spent a whole day looking at tarot cards and astrology.

until now, however the cheese has still occupied my mind... stupid huh?

cheesy cheesy cheese......whee!

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

it has been decided by the court of fate that i should hurt myself while playing ultimate frisbee. thus, my foot hurts. HELP.

can't move it much cause it'll hurt me, but i still can walk, so i take it that it'll be fine after awhile.

then after that they decided that i should fall on the floor, thanks to melvin .my elbow has a bruise.

my head is spinning from the worries about promotions, thus my head hurts.

all in all, u are looking at one sad kid.

anyway,. played tabboo today, had fun. then now bored to death. can't wait for the iShop thing tomorrow.

oh yeah gotta write a note ....

to : you.

okay i have no idea if you ever see this note but hopefully you do cause this is for you.

see, you're screwing up my life. every min, i turn, hoping to see you and your grinning smile. obviously i dun see you. which is fine, cause i'll know you'll be happily living your life. but then, i gotta stop thinking that you'll come and be with me, that one day you'll come to your senses and return my feelings.

see , i'm not a girl that waits on her man and comes at his beck and call. if you hate me, i accept that. i hate that i cried once for you. hell i shouldn't even be liking you.

but after so long and so many promises that were broken, i have decided. i'll be a fren to you. only that . so i'll be moving on wth life, instead of stopping time in a dream. if i do that , i'll be hurting us both.

hope you never see this message.

from the person who hopes that you'll never see this message.

there , done .

tt's right, i won't get hung over anymore by his smiles, or his looks. i won't be turning around to see if i can ever see him against a backdrop.

but i gotta thank you. i 'm seeing life in a whole new way now. cheers to you for that.

.........

i think it's working

(after a while)

gods, it's not working. my ld self keeps jutting in the way and kicking me in the ass.

and this is not improved by something i found in someone's blog.

i guess my mistrust in my prev e4 members minus parrims and ying jie was not unfounded.

guess what?

(those who are really wimpish about sexual stuff, please ignore.)

it turns out that if a guy had the option of have intercourse with a dog or getting raped by me, they rather get the dog, cause dogs have clean vaginas, while mine is crap.

funny, how people can actually know what goes on in my own vagina even better than i do.

even funnily enough: i 'm not mad at them.

sad that they'll still think that way, but not mad.

they dunno me.

they dunno who i am.

like a fren once said, you're breathing my air, get out of my space.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Loop
Yuunagi Loop / Loop of an Evening Calm, Loop single

nee　kono machi ga yuuyami ni somaru toki wa
sekai no dokoka de asahi ga sasu
kimi no te no naka　sono hana ga kareru toki wa
chiisana tane o otosu darou

fumikatamerareta tsuchi o michi da to yobu no naraba
me o tojiru koto de mo ai kanaa?

kono hoshi ga tairanara futari deaete nakatta
otagai o toozakeru you ni hashitteita
supiido o yurumezu ni　ima wa donna ni hanarete mo

meguru kiseki no tochuu ni mata mukaiau no darou

nee　kono machi no yuuyami ga sari iku toki ni
kono namida　tsuretette

katarikakete kuru moji o shousetsu to yobu no nara

todokanai kotoba wa yume kanaa?

yodomi naku nagareteku kawa ni ukabeta konohade
umi o mezashite kumo ni natte ame de furou
tooi kimi no chikaku de ochita tane o sodate you

chigau basho de kimi ga kidzuitekureru to ii n dakedo

kono hoshi ga taemanaku mawaritsudzukete iru kara

chiisaku aketa mado no soto　keshiki o kae

watashi no aishita hana　sotto mebaeru kisetsu de
meguru kiseki no sono hate　mata mukaiau no darou

mukaiau no darou
kururu mawaru kuru kuru to
kuru kuru kimi no mawari o

translation:
Hey, when these streets are dyed with twilight,
somewhere else in the world, the sun is rising.
When that flower you grasp in your hand wilts,
its small seeds will fall onto the ground

If you call the well-trodden earth a path,
then I guess even the closing of my eyes is love?

If this Earth was flat, the both of us would have never met.
We’d have been running away from each other
without even slowing down. Now, even if we’re separated to the ends of the Earth
we’ll probably face each other again amidst the endlessly looping miracles

Hey, when the twilight veiling these streets disappears,
I’ll ask it to take these tears of mine with it

If you call these written characters of a speech a short story,
then I guess these words I dare not say are a dream?

Carried by a leaf floating on the clear river,
they head for the sea, form a cloud and will fall as rain
to tend to those seeds that dropped near you so far away, even though it would be nice
if you, being in a different place, would notice it for me

It’s because this Earth spins continuously without ever once stopping
that the scenery I see outside the slightly-open window changes
At the time when the flowers I loved bud softly,
at the end of these endlessly looping miracles, we’ll probably face each other again
We’ll probably face each other
Looping round and round and round,
Looping round and round around you

i can't remember the last time i looked at these lyrics and not feel empty and sad inside. this is really sad, especially the circumstances of the anime this song came from.

i used to cry everytime i listened to it.cause the lead female never recognized the male guy and everytime they looked at each other , he would always look sad cause he knew that what he had with her was over...

anyway, today was really fun!!! rather slack cause it was after the exams, history was fun, GP was the BEST (we played taboo! whoohoo! playing again tomorrow.) after that we had a rather weird version of chinese history...

and i got high on sugar and coca cola, thanks to that cherry push pop! i still feel high! damn happy! never snapped at anyone, was even nice to all my usual victims. haha!!! anyway, i gotta find a way to stop, this cheerfullness is tiring.

I FEEL LIKE MOKONA!!!!!

WHOOHOO!!

by the way, melvin rocks! so does fifi! and siti! and razia ! and hafizah! and tt kid i made frens with today.....erm...sorffian!

hahahahahahahahahahahha!!!

Saturday, October 13, 2007

i so love my phone. for the record , i bought a new phone, the same model as my lost phone.curse the greedy person who took it. this time i bought a memory card to go with it, so i have stored like.....87 songs in it. and quite a few pics too.

this is my new wallpaper for my phone. kinda pretty huh?
i dun worship the devil for those who ask, i just loved the design of the witch.then again, i'm a magecraft freak. i love anything to do with magic. i learnt this week that there was a whole section of kinokuniya that i have avoided for a long time, the new age section. they have a whole collection of books on tarot, witchcraft and other related stuff. starting to wish i had paid more attention to that place. sigh. at least i had fun exploring the place with melvin on wednesday.

max , when i told him this, thinks i'm going out with melvin. NOT TRUE. melvin is too devoted to his gf to do such a thing.

max and i met on friday by the way. it was quite interesting . see while waiting for him, i got attacked (something like that) by girly girl bernadette( she's gonna kill me cause of this) , shima and laurent . that was because bern wanted to use me as a witness that laurent had threatened her.poor boy. i did testify against him. poor boy again.

bern did a "girly girl" jump and screech thingy when she saw max. so did shima. so ddi,(for some explicable reason)laurent. they all seemed too darn happy to see him. ah well. to each his own. i'll never do the bimbo jump when i see a fren.

okay only once. but that was for mei mei, my lil sis.

anyway, the kicker<'what are you doing here?"

he looks at me and then,(the evil one says.)

"u mean u didn't tell them we were a couple?"

silence.

this includes three pairs of eyes staring and pair of eyes with glasses while they stare at evil muffin head with chinese eyes.(max is half french half chinese in case u have forgotten my dear readers)

will kill him when i get the chance.

anyway, it was kinda short , but fun having lunch with maxilla. he looks happier now, but says he misses our class. in fact he misses them all. just not me.

ah well,he's an ass.

anyway , i'm actually here tob rant. my junior messaged me to tell me that they were going for a trip to england for lit.

butbutbut....i wanna go to england too!! no fun.these kids get all the fun while the older ones get arthritis and neck pain and aches. is that fair?

going to sulk.

ps. by the way, my aunt thinks i have a bf beacause of the fact that some guy called the house when i was out . according to the dame, the boy who called had an accent and sounded a bit like an ang moh. till now, i still dunno who the person is.we can confirm that the person was a guy at least. ah well.

which reminds me, i still haven't found out who wrote me that sweet note in sec 2. it's been 3 years. i lost that note, but i still wonder and ponder about the subject.....

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Well, after many days of no school, i was getting seriously bored , almost half to death. so when school finally rolled around today, i got darn happy cause that meant i could breathe fresh air again! no more lazing around the room ! no more getting headaches for being at a lost of what to do!

ah well, school didn't disappoint me. first two hours......casino time....

erm.....sorry , i had fun gambling for once in my life.

in the end, our group, (the a2s spades) won $1000!!!! yay!!!at least it sounded good until we learnt that the other group in a1 had a total of $1950.

the after that......we had two long hours of pe!!!! for once !!!YES!!!! did striking and fielding with the a6s. and guess what?

OUR TEAM HAD 11 HOME RUNS!!!!!!!!!

11!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

whoohoo!

later, went out with melvin to orchard. let me tell u , orchard is never fun without a fren....and melvin is funny to be around....let's just say that toilets are not safe when melvin is around......and books are always fun to discuss with a fren....especially with an idiot like him.....haha!!

by the way.... i haven't wrote about him for a long time.....but i still miss his smile....

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

I kinda got addicted to this song today...thanks to mila kunis, who starred in the music video of this song...

JADED
By: Aerosmith
Hey j-j-jaded, you got your mama's style
But you're yesterday's child to me
So jaded
You think that's where it's at
But is that where it's supposed to be
You're gettin' it all over me and serrated

My my baby blue
Yeah I been thinkin' about you
My my baby blue
Yeah you're so jaded
And I'm the one that jaded you

Hey j-j-jaded
In all it's misery
It will always be what I love and hated
And maybe take a ride to the other side
We're thinkin' of
We'll slip into the velvet glove
And be jaded

My my baby blue
Yeah I'm thinkin about you
My my baby blue
Yeah I'm so jaded
And baby I'm afraid of you

Your thinking's so complicated
I've had it all up to here
But it's so overrated
Love and hated
Wouldn't trade it
Love me jaded

Hey j-j-jaded
There ain't no baby please
When I'm shootin the breeze with her
When everything you see is a blur
And ectasy's what you prefer

My my baby blue
Yeah I'm talkin' about you
My my baby blue
Yeah I've been thinkin' about you
My my baby blue
Yeah you're so jaded
Baby
Jaded
Baby
You're so jaded
'Cause I'm the one that jaded you

Saturday, October 06, 2007

hi! i was bored when i did this so please dun kill me.see i realized that ppl can be described using animal imagery so i thought...hm .....what about my class? the results....

Isabella: Swan . Cause of her physical attributes and the fact that she always had that graceful stride when she walks , this animal could only suit her.

Melvin: Stag. Think "real king of the forest" and you'll find that behind that insanity, he's actually like a prince. perhaps he can be a monkey too.

Daniel: panther. That lazy stride, the graceful dance , the eyes.....yup.

Vanessa: Monkey, Mischief maker, the cool of the cool.....girl u are it!no offense if u dun like it.

Bernadette: Pony. face it, with her constant obsession over her hair, it fits.

Laurent:Hawk. He's still very scary no matter how i look at him.

Kala:Hen. Always protecting her young in that sweet motherly way of hers.

Nisa:Cheetah. cause she's tough like one and cool too.

Yang Jun: Sheep. Cause he's just so goddarn innoncent.

Fiona: Dog. a terrier to be exact. she has the energy for almost everything!

Melinda:Cuckoo. Pretty bird. Very punctual.

Jaja: Rabbit. she has this way of sneezing that reminds me of one.

Navin: Bear. Sorry dude. but u still scare me!

Pam: Lioness. Strides like one, check, attitude like one , check . coolness? Definitely.

Razia: Sparrow.She kinda reminds me of a flapping little thing.....sweet too

Roshilla: Seal. happy, fun , optimistic and enthusiastic.

Shima: Nightingale. Cause of her voice.

Siti: Butterfly. She might disagree, but i understand why.

Christine:Gazelle. graceful and delicate as well. pretty too.

Syaf: Mynah. Cause the mynah chirps happily everyday. like her.

Albert:Dolphin. smart and enthusiastic.

Hafizah: Squirrel, mischief and happy. very cte too.

Geran:Raven.Smart animals, plus very cool.

Quansheng: Puppy. Cause he's looks so cute when he's sad.

Friday, October 05, 2007

this is a complete turnabout from just now's post.

i decided to tell my aunt and my mom what happened to my phone.

mom was more understanding.
my aunt wasn't .
especially when she heard bout the entire 'how i used her ic to cancel my line without her permission stunt."

let's just say right now tt i want to kill myself.every guardian i went has always placed me as their burden. i'm the one that messes the place around, i'm the one tt cause a lot of trouble ,i'm the one who is the BIGGEST IDIOT I EVER LIVED ON THIS EARTH.

it's seems like i'm everyone's mistake.i'm never someone's problem reliever . i'm never the good guy. i'm always the bad.

i understand that. after all, i dunno why i do this.

i wanted to prove i can handle things my own way. everyone keeps thinking,"champa can't handle it herself, let's help her."

but then again, i ALWAYS screw things up.

perhaps this is a signal to tell me to not live in this world. cause everyone hates me.

i'm a burden to society, deadweight loss. perhaps i shouldn't live and see how much better everyone lives their lives.

i'm even worse than three boys.

i'm no worth a place in this world.

i hate myself. i wanna kill myself. i really wonder how would ppl live without me.

happily, i suppose.

if u dun see , or hear anything from me after this, this means i have decided to take action by moving out or killing myself.

then again. this is me. i always do the senseless stuff. it is the blood of my father that runs through me. the blood that makes me an ass. i'm not pushing the blame on my dad. i'm blaming myself for actually being here. my mom used to say since i take after my dad, i would behave like him too. i never wanted to believe this. i always denied it.

now that i have embraced it, i'm making the situation even worse. i dun care anymore. ppl dun hear my problems. ppl dun wanna hear me when i talk to them. i always feel like the evil one. the whole problem in class, i think i made it even worse. i snapped at ppl,ppl have now hated me.

all i wanted was respect.that was all. didn't anyone understand that?

and when i counted on frens, who really sat there to talk?

perhaps i was wrong all along. perhaps i was deluding myself into thinking i had a great life. but now, perhaps i just realized that i was not worth anything at all.

i dunno anything anymore.

all i know is.i will stop crying.
i won't deny this has ever happened.
but i will change this.somehow.
but this will not change anything about ppl's perceptions of me.

i will stand again.

but i will always be "Fool's Burden."

just came back from the Singapore discovery centre with Rafe.
i had so much fun!!!! i wanna go again!!!!

okay it was abit propaganda like.....but still fun!

anyway the next time i also wanna go to the army museum. we didn't managed to today, sad, but tt's okay, that means we'll come again soon!!!!

whoohoo! chumps has just swept the floor off my enemies with my vampire, my werewolf and my zombie!!! haha!! no one will be safe now!!!!bwahahahahaha!!!

sorry, i just realized nowadays that my love for being the evil villain has kinda made everyone even more scared of me.

haha, sorry, but as a leo,i have made it my life duty to make u guys be shocked over my actions! i am a queen over you peasants!hahahahahahaah!!!WHOOHOO!!!!CHAMPA ROCKS !!!!!lalalalalalalaal!!!!

anyway, my current situation: i am sitting in my oraganized room of chaos and typing away happily. okay not happily. i'm starving! the lady that has my food is not here! argh!!!i have many books surrounding me, the dark lord and empress mage. i just bought a new book, the third installment of captive heart. it's a really sweet manga, supposedly a romantic comedy, but doing well as funny too.i am reviewing my horoscope again. (sorry but i am such a sucker for these)

lalalalalalalalala!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i want a chocolate chip cookie. and oatmeal raisin. and some ban mian. and hokkien mee. and coconut juice.

most of all, i wanna be in shanghai. away from this sun. the sun is making me cry everytime i see it up in the sy, blazing like the god it is. i knew there was a reason why i loved artemis more than apollo.and i missed that sea. mostly, i miss hong kong. everytime i go back something changes. now there a big gaping hole wher my eyes used to enjoy the beautiful central star ferry pier, the place where i used to take the school bus to school. the place where i take the ferry over to Tsim Tsai Jui and feel the wonderful cold sea breeze around my face, making my hair fly all over my face, laughing happily as the sensation washes over me.

gods, i miss that place so much. but then again,in singapore i have true allies. my allies in hong kong have faded and nearly gone and disappeared , changing into other ppl. anyway, sometimes the thing i miss about singapore when i'm in hong kong is the fresn u made in singapore. in hong kong, u can't meet up with Prince Amy for coffee/chocolate and read a book in a cafe. in hong kong you can't find fiona running around the place tasting the food, or maxilla fighting with me over the window or acting like idiots. in hong kong you can't find ying jie complaining on the lack of anime in the television shows, or parrims at the bookstore discussing with me books, or viha to argue with me on nonsensical things i get in my head.

but then again.....I MISS HONG KONG REAL DIM SUM. the siu mai has real shrimp in it! the haa goa has REALREAL SHRIMP IN IT! THE XIAO LONG BAO HAS REAL STUFFING IN IT! AND THE SIEW YUK AND DUCK AND CHICKEN......AH...........HEAVEN.

okay , back to reality....i just had dinner, sirloin steak was delicious. chamap is full now, and happily typing on her com now! yay to her!

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Apologies to those ppl who saw me snapping away at them like a strong wind breaking twigs. i only had three hours of sleep the day before and i wanted to get the exam over and done with.and i didn't have breakfast. which meant that the hungry kid was an angry kid.

well i got it over and done with. along with five pieces of papers which i threw away after crushing it into a giant ball.

so now at home typing away. i think i might have plans to sleep for a bit after this.

perhaps...if i can sleep.

ps. max , if u see this, you swore to slap me if i ever became grumpy at ppl. thus.......do the honours.

Monday, October 01, 2007

[one] what is your natural hair color?
jet black, even though i had swimming lessons every week in school.

[two] where is your default picture on friendster taken?
heh, that time i was fooling around with the black and white function on my camera phone.when i took it, i thought it seemed so artistic so i decided to keep it.

[three] what's your middle name?
If u really wanna be stupid, it's thuc. but if u dun wanna die, none.

[four] your current relationship status?
In love with......George Clooney. Geez were u expecting someone?

[five] does your crush like you back?
i will ask him when we start dating.

[six] what is your current mood?
headachey. but fine. and really hungry.

[seven] what colour underwear are you wearing?
............ i have no interest in divulging the information reagrding my panties

[eight] what makes you happy?
flattery, though i dun like it if you pile it on too much.

[ten] if you could go back in time and change something, what you would change?
hm...in history? i would change nth! cause if history was affected, everything will change.

[eleven] if you must be an animal for one day, what would you be?
a wolf. i feel like munching on rabbits.

[twelve] ever had a near death experience?
no, but i dreamt that i fell of the mountain and drowned in the lake.

[thirteen] something you do a lot?
laughing, polarising , and being an idiot.

[fourteen] the song stuck in your head?
We were Lovers by Jean-Jacques Burnel.

[fifteen] who did you copy and paste this from?
the person who tagged me?

[sixteen] name someone with the same birthday as you?
Sandra Bullock, Mick Jagger and the FBI.

[seventeen] when was the last time you cried?
yesterday , after an arguement with my cousin who i still hate.

[eighteen] have you ever sung in front of a large audience?
No. everyone throws stuff when i karaoke songs.

[nineteen] if you could have one super power what would it be?
Telepathy . ike Jean Gray.

[twenty] what's the first thing you notice about the preferred sex?
how he acts towards ppl in general.

[twenty-one] what do you usually order from starbucks?
Iced chocolate!!! with loads of whipped cream!!!

[twenty-two] what's your biggest secret?
a secret makes a woman woman, thus i cannot divulge such info.

[twenty-three] favorite colors?
green , black, blue, grey .never pink.

[twenty-four] do you still watch kiddy movies or tv shows?
u are talking to the kid who states that one of her fav movies is the spongebob squarepants movie.

[twenty-five] what are you eating or drinking at the moment?
the lousiest baked rice.

[twenty-six] you speak any other language?
chinese, cantonese

[twenty-seven] what's your favorite smell?
yoghurt , freshly laundered clothes and pages of books.

[twenty-eight] if you could describe your life in one word what would it be?
dramatic.

twenty-nine[] when was the last time you gave/received a hug?
hm....to my stuffed cats aaron and marisol. when sleeping.

[thirty] have you ever kissed in the rain?
Dude, u gotta be kidding me.

[thirty-one] what are you thinking about right now?
what to do tomorrow.

[thirty-two] what should you be doing?
reviewing king lear .

[thirty-three] what was the last thing that made you upset/angry?
that ass of a cousin.

[thirty-four] how often do you pray?
never.

[thirty-five] do you like working in the yard?
if tt includes spraying water for the plants and making me get wet instead, yes.

[thirty-six] if you could have any last name in the world, what would you want?
Merlin. I wanna be related to the legend of all magic.

[thirty-seven] do you act differently around your crush?
yes. i think. i dunno.

[thirty-eight] name one song that reminds you of an ex?
At the End of the Day by Marion Raven.

[thirty-nine] who was the last person to make you cry?
stupid cousin.

10 TAGS!

melvin
viha
ying jie
parri, (if she evr sees this)
wan yi
dinesh
Squirrel
Siti Aishah
Yoke hwee
Rebecca

i cannot believe i did this. sigh.