Paranoia; An RH. M Production

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

day and night i wander in and out of consciousness. swimmingly in my mind, there u stand.

so why can't i see u now?

Monday, January 28, 2008

What Champa Means

You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily.

You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind.

A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable.

You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out.

Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia.

Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person.

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.

You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.

You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You are confident, self assured, and capable. You are not easily intimidated.

You master any and all skills easily. You don't have to work hard for what you want.

You make your life out to be exactly how you want it. And you'll knock down anyone who gets in your way!

You are influential and persuasive. You tend to have a lot of power over people.

Generally, you use your powers for good. You excel at solving other people's problems.

Occasionally, you do get a little selfish and persuade people to do things that are only in your interest.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

just a quick post before i take a shower and start on my homework.

today i went to west mall with frens. well, actually, it was more of me dropping them off while i headed to comics connection.

so there i was , talking to a close fren of mine. she has a bad experience with traffic , so while the other kids ran ahead in the flashing green light, i stayed with her cause i knew about her fear .the green light came back on again and as we walked by, me at her left , a bus came by, stopping to let us pass. as i was on her left, i would be in the direct path of the bus, so i told her (jokingly) that i'll walk that way from now on so that she can avoid getting hit.

she stunned me with this statement

" I'll still push you aside."

while wondering why would she do such a thing while she herself knew how bad traffic can get, she explained to me why.

and i was stunned. not because i thought she was reckless in doing so, but because i was touched.

i have nearly been hit by cars three times in my life. one was in hk, and my mom and i nearly got killed when a taxi sped by us, while the traffic man for the walk was still green. after cursing and swearing at him, my mom made me swear to watch where i was going.

the other two times were in sec 1 and 2, when Marco grabbed and pulled me out to safety while this car sped by.

still i have never been touched about both incidents until today.

somehow or other, people do care about me.not only that, they wish to take it upon themselves to do so.

even if it means risking their own life.

gods, it made me wanna hug her at tt point. cause,she somehow helped me restore my faith in the human race.

goddamn it. i hate it when i get like this.

anyway, back to less serious news. today champa got hyper on hotcakes, maple syrup, green tea, chrysanthemum tea and coke. she still feels the energy flowing through her veins.

her reputation is now at promiscuous. i really dunno why.

champa has also become more hooked on Gossip Girl. and strawberry fields forever.
damn you geran! champa screams.

and one photo of my niece to top it off.

love her. she's like me.

you know u love me, xoxo

Champa

ps. it's a quote from gossip girl! i am not becoming a bimbo !

Thursday, January 24, 2008

hey guys! back today!!

i took napfta today . five stations.....
i passed all five! with some beating the normal girls group!!

yay!!! passed all five! with a 9 for inclined pull ups. a 190 cm for standing broad jump, 11.3 secs for shuttle run,29 sit ups.and 44 for sit and reach!!!

i'm so proud of myself!

i saw max yesterday and i nearly started laughing my head off. he looks like a poodle! and has the same look he had when we were in class last year, same old muffin head. the dumbass look.

i was happy to see him. it seemed like years since we talked.

anyway i have a new name now. chelsea. chels for short.

dun ask why.

anyway, loving within temptation.

Monday, January 21, 2008

Artist: Within Temptation

Album: The Heart of Everything

Song: Our solemn hour

Sanctus Espiritus redeem us from our solemn hour
Sanctus Espiritus insanity is all around us
Sanctus Espiritus! Sanctus Espiritus! Sanctus Espiritus!

In my darkest hours I could not foresee
That the tide could turn so fast to this degree
Can´t believe my eyes
How can you be so blind?
Is the heart of stone, no empathy inside?
Time keeps on slipping away and we haven´t learned
So in the end now what have we gained?

Sanctus Espiritus, redeem us from our solemn hour
Sanctus Espiritus, insanity is all around us
Sanctus Espiritus, is this what we deserve,
can we break free from chains of never-ending agony?

Are they themselves to blame, the misery, the pain?
Didn´t we let go, allowed it, let it grow?
If we can´t restrain the beast which dwells inside
it will find it´s way somehow, somewhere in time
Will we remember all of the suffering
Cause if we fail it will be in vain

Sanctus Espiritus, redeem us from our solemn hour
Sanctus Espiritus, insanity is all around us
Sanctus Espiritus, is this what we deserve,
can we break free from chains of never-ending agony?

i just love this song. kudos to logen for introducing me to Within Temptation. Goth Metal forever.whoohoohoo....

Friday, January 18, 2008

damn you people! i have had enough!

i dun need this shit.
i dun need this never ending reminder of what has happened!
I DUN NEED IT!

i thought it was over, so why bring it up again?!
fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck!

stomach pains. will destress first.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Answer the following questions:

1. The person who tagged you is ?

i stole this from logen. but i did ask his permission for it. now he has given me full permission to use it. yay!

2. Your relationship with him/her is?

this is the guy who tried to break dance in sec 1. but an interesting fellow....we used to be schoolmates.

3. Your impression of him/her?

like any flawed human. but with a good heart.

4. The most memorable thing he/she has done for you?

He reminded me that there were humans who cared in Beatty after all.

5. If he/she becomes your lover, you will ?

Erm.......no offense, but pull the other one.

6. If he/she becomes your lover, things he/she have to improve?

nothing. every human is flawed with imperfections. but like i said....PULL THE OTHER ONE.

7. If he/she becomes your enemy, you will ?

If we were enemies......usually we won't talk to each other. duh.

8. Your overall impression of him/her?

my go to guy for views of life .

9. How do you think people around you will think about that person?

Really, really nice......very deep in thought.....but never really shows that.

10. The characteristics you love in yourself are?

fun loving, dream making, happy go lucky me.my love for my imagination has entertained me for many a time.

11. On the contrary, the characteristics you hate yourself for are?

that very same imagination has led me to become even more paranoid.and even more crazier.it also keeps making me jump to conclusions.

12. The most ideal person you want to be is?

i wanna be like boudicea, the ancient warrior queen. or joan of arc.

13. For people who care and likes you, say something to them?

Shiitake Mushrooms rule the world!

14. Pass this quiz to 10 people that you wish to know how they feel.

melvin, rebecca, yoke hwee, wan yi,maxime, humaira, siti (monkey),dinesh...damn two more......i dunno! forget the last two!

Monday, January 14, 2008

today, while walking home from school, i saw a sight that tugged on my heartstrings.....it was the cutest thing i ever saw, and if i wasn't staying at my aunt's house, which doesn't allow pets, i would have brought it home.

cat: meow.
me ( cat lover and suckup): aiee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!so cute!!!!!!!!let's me pet u!!!!!!!!
total dumbass , am i?

Saturday, January 12, 2008

sorry, never expected to be back so soon, but i gotta write about this, or it will bug me for the rest of the days in MI.

a few days ago, there was a problem of bitching in class. seems like personalities crashes result in bitchiness...heh.....it was only one person, but i seem to have realized that i can't find that peace of mind i used to have with 2007 07a2.even though there were problems, we were united . we knew where we stood with one another, and though there were troubles, it was apparent.

BACK TO BITCHING!!! STOP COMPLAINING ABOUT THE CLASS!!!!

well, today i have found something interesting in someone else's blog about that same sub, this time about someone else, and of someone i like and respect.

well, i guess i couldn't help but wonder whether we were all the same underneath.

we bitch about someone that makes you mad. it helps in releasing the stress, and u feel happier after that, but then what? why do u feel a slight emptiness in you, the guilt that u have just transferred (maybe) biased info about others?when others hear about that info, would they too know only the biased info and not the truth?

but what is truth? lately i have been wondering whether what we see in this world is truth. people tell lies all the time. not real lies, but the way they saw it what what they believed happened.their perception of what happened is different,which is why in history, there is a need for a comparison of sources......but does it again apply in this world?would people remember to check their sources against others to get a clearer picture?

so are we thus diluting the wall between truth and lies when we bitch?

why do we bitch anyway? i've bitched , yes, but lately i've been getting really uncomfortable about it, cause i am reminded about what happened in secondary school, when people bitched about me. when i came to MI, i have been accepted and considered a fellow fren by all these good people, but in my course, i have forgotten who i used to be. now i am afraid what i am doing will do the same damage to another person .

i've been also wondering on people that we express we hate extensively.

see i have been thinking on a very alarming subject.
if an enemy and i were somehow alike in so many ways, does that make her me and me her?there is something wrong with that argument, but so far, i can't find it. i am paranoid that people would somehow find out that i am in reality exactly like the person i hate.

i also fear one day, people will find out who i truly am and hate me because of it.

anyone out there listening? i gotta understand why.

Follow Me Now

This morning I woke up and something had changed.
I felt kind good and it felt kinda strange
there's something going on here
and maybe it's a brand new world,
Or I'm just crazy, insane.

So, everything's different
well, I guess that's OK
cause those thoughts that used to hold me down
have all gone away.
I feel like I can take on the world
So, come along for the ride,
Or just get out of my way!

(Chorus) Come on!, Come on!
Get up!, Get up!
let's go won't you follow me
Let's go won't you follow me now.(me now, me now.)x2

So tell me your secrets
and I'll sell you my soul

There's a shovel in my heart
and it's digging a hole.

The devil and the god in my head
are having breakfast in my brain
and it's driving me insane.

(Chorus)

Won't someone follow me now?

gods.....i really felt strange back at beatty...

everything has changed.
and i felt good, cause the thoughts that used to hold me down, have all gone away.

all the people i hate have all gone away.
but replaced with people that i have realized had become strangers to me.

we never talk, since u went away.
now i find myself walking in circles.
i keep waiting for another chance....
keep hoping things will never be the same......

but i know, that i don't wanna miss a thing....
cause even when i dream of you
the sweetest dream will never do...

damnit, what's wrong with me.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

I'M FINALLY BACK ONLINE!!!!!
WHOOHOO!!!!!

thank u , thank u....

i know there are some people are happily rejoicing. somewhere.

anyway, i gotta report my news....

I'M IN THE MUN!!!!!!

In case u dunno, it's the model united nations. yes! i got in! i get to represent the school ! yes yes yes! i want this badly. really badly.
by the way, guess who else is in? well, kar yee, dinesh and surprsingly geran are in too.yup, we are so going to take over the UN.bwahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!whoohoo!!!

THE SECOND THING IN BUSINESS.
i think i have mentioned this before to people who know me that my class has been split up into two. the first half is still in 07a2 while the other half has been sent to a4. okay, it's considered really old news already soi saw continue with what i wanna say.

i dun dislike my new class mates. kar yee is nice, and patrick is really entertaining. but.....i really really miss my class. my old class. 07a2. the original.

before max left.
before melissa left .
before yj got retained.
before we all got separated.
before everything happened.

gods, pitying myself again......stop!

back.

i love my ipod now. in love again. yay.
now it's holding 9 gb of music and about 15 gb of videos. i wish i had more music.
but then again i already got a whole bunch in today.
alicia keyes, alvin and the chipmunks,amy winehouse, jordin sparks.....ah......i want a pair of earphones......

so this will be my first long post for this year.
bwahahhahah.....let's see what else i can do.

ps. i still miss u.