Paranoia; An RH. M Production

Thursday, June 26, 2008

To: the people's republic of china

years ago i was one of the people tt used to be in love with u. being half chinese myself, sometimes, i would dream about how it would be like to visit the motherland.i'ld dream about your mountains and sea, and most of all dream about being pure chinese.

of course, now tt i am so mad at you, i just dun wanna speak to u anymore.

WHAT WERE U THINKING , BANNING FOREIGN CARTTONS IN CHINA TO BE SHOWN ON TV?!

i dun ever wanna see u again. dun talk to me.

-the angry empress mage.

this was what i wanted to say yesterday.

ah well.

will update more when i get into my groove/mood

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Pathology of Colours

I know the colour rose, and it is lovely,
but not when it ripens in a tumour;
and healing greens, leaves and grass, so springlike,
in limbs that fester are not springlike.

I have seen red-blue tinged with hirsute mauve
in the plum-skin face of a suicide.
I have seen white, china white almost, stare
from behind the smashed windscreen of a car.

And the criminal, multi-coloured flash
of an H-bomb is no more beautiful
than an autopsy when the belly's opened -
to show cathedral windows never opened.

So in the simple blessing of a rainbow,
in the bevelled edge of a sunlit mirror,
I have seen, visible, Death's artifact
like a soldier's ribbon on a tunic tacked.

-Dannie Abse

after looking at this poem, i knew which one it was i wanted to work on for the exam today.

hey, the poem had put pictures of dead bodies in my mind! i knew this was going to be cool!
try reading it and figuring out what it means. then find out on google if you're right, cause i'm not telling what i know...bwahahah...

anyway, today was...let's not even get to weird. this year it seems like everyone is on edge. tensions are running high, everyone is more fragile than ever, everyone has changed, nothing has stayed the same.

if i ever grow old, and i look back on this period of years, would i then say, "well, it has made u who u are."?

perhaps. but then again i like to think of the present.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

so much goes on in people's lives so much material so much weariness so much hurt so many hurt feelings so many broken souls so much happiness so much fakeness so many obligations so many wants so many temptations so many consequences so many memories so many nightmares so much to live for so much to die for
this is not a poem.
this is mental driftings that pass through my mind as i read blogs and websites.

OMG!! i wrote this last year when i was bored an until now, my sis leonardo is still using it .

how long has it been since i wrote tt?

( redunfdant question, chumpi, u already said last year)

anyway, it just proves just how long it has been since, at yet the situation is still the same.

i'm thankful for it. the joy within the same sorrow is something i thank the gods above for as i live on this earth.

anyway.........

LOVE ME!

( this is what happens when u get exposed to melvin a bit too much, oh my god)

Thursday, June 19, 2008

I AM THE GREAT CORNHOLIO!!!!!

WHOOHOOHOOO!!!!

sorry, a bit hyper.

i had a very good study session for econs today with melvin and have now filled 5 pieces of paper with econs notes and diagrams!!! congratulate me!! thank u!!!

anyway, max left this morning for france at 3am. i didn't send him off, but i finally managed to pass him his present , which by the way, i have had kept since FEB! i hope , despite my evil heart giggling over the possibility of him being driven to france with a horse/donkey/camel/giant escargot, that he has reached France with no harm done and hopefully the strike has not affected the airport he is in.

i do, however, feel that the above imagination is wondrously funny and thus have taken many opps to chuckle quietly to myself .

by the way, i gotta say something to u guys out there, the ones tt are supporting me and my crazy ways:

well, it's been a long crazy ride.but i gotta give a shout out to the following people.

My friends in MI: thank you! thankyouthankyouthankyou!!!!!!!!!!!
i love u guys for being one of the most diverse and the least judgemental group of my school life. you guys are smarter than anyone in a JC and with twice the attitude to go with it. Thanks especially to the following: 07A2 of 2007 and 2008, especially ; Drama, with compliments ; and all the other ppl out there tt i really admire and respect but due to the fact tt it's 0140 hrs, i have thus forgotten your names.

My best frens TMNT: HI!!!! it's mikey here. u guys are the only ones tt can beat me up and still laugh at my jokes at the same time! i really really mis u guys. u have seen me at my best, and you have seen me at my worst.admittedly, hiding in a cupboard wasn't a very good way of venting, but u guys have ignored tt .

My juniors: chester, monkey and all the other misfits i have trained to take over the singapore school system. i have only one thing to say...........WE WILL REIGN SUPREME OVER THE BITCHES AND THE JOCKS!!!

( u guys might be wondering why i am doing this now. well, i have been thinking over the past few days about the ppl who are my frens and those who are supposedly my frens. thus, i guess the situation is tt if u are the ones who have supported me in my times of crisis and the ones who i bother on a regular basis, u are the ones who i can be comfortable with.)

hm.....

and to end off, i shall end off with some of my fav scenes from monty python and the holy grail:

( this is the scene where King Arthur is trying to get information from two peasants about who lives in the castle nearby. trouble is, he kinda picked the wrong peasants to talk to. especially two who are anti monarchy.)

Dennis: We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We take it in turns to act as sort-of-executive officer for the week--
Arthur: Yes.
Dennis: But all the decisions of that officer have to be ratified at a special biweekly meeting--
Arthur: Yes, I see.
Dennis: By a simple majority, in the case of purely internal affairs--
Arthur: [getting bored] Be quiet.
Dennis: But by a two thirds majority, in the case of more major--
Arthur: Be quiet! I order you to be quiet!
Dennis' Mother: Order, eh? Who does he think he is?
Arthur: I am your king!
Dennis' Mother: Well I didn't vote for you.
Arthur: You don't vote for kings!
Dennis' Mother: How'd you become king, then?
Arthur: The Lady of the Lake, [Angel chorus begins singing in background] her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water signifying by Divine Providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. [Angel chorus ends] That is why I am your king!
Dennis: Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
Arthur: Be quiet!
Dennis: You can't expect to wield supreme power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!
Arthur: Shut up!
Dennis: I mean, if I went 'round saying I was an emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!
Arthur: Shut up! Will you shut up?! [Grabs Dennis and shakes him]
Dennis: Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system!
Arthur: Shut up!
Dennis: Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help! Help! I'm being repressed!

----------------------------------------------------------------

( King Arthur is trying to get pass the Black Knight to go into the forest)

Black Knight: None shall pass.
King Arthur: What?
Black Knight: None shall pass.
King Arthur: I have no quarrel with you, good Sir Knight, but I must cross this bridge.
Black Knight: Then you shall die.
King Arthur: I command you, as King of the Britons, to stand aside!
Black Knight: I move for no man.
King Arthur: So be it!
[rounds of melee, with Arthur cutting off the left arm of the black knight.]
King Arthur: Now stand aside, worthy adversary.
Black Knight: Tis but a scratch.
King Arthur: A scratch?! Your arm's off!
Black Knight: No it isn't.
King Arthur: Well what's that then? [Pointing to the knight's arm lying on the ground.]
Black Knight: I've had worse.
King Arthur: You liar!
Black Knight: Come on then, you pansy! [Charges Arthur, who chops the knight's remaining arm off.]
King Arthur: Victory is mine! [kneels and starts to pray] We thank thee Lord, that in thy-- [is kicked in the head by the armless knight.]
Black Knight: Come on then!
King Arthur: What?
Black Knight: Have at you! [Kicks Arthur]
King Arthur: You are indeed brave, good Sir Knight, but the fight is mine.
Black Knight: Oohh, had enough, eh?
King Arthur: Look, you stupid bastard, you've got no arms left!
Black Knight: Yes I have.
King Arthur: Look!
Black Knight: Just a flesh wound. [Continues to kick and taunt Arthur]
King Arthur: Stop that!
Black Knight: Chicken! Chicken!
King Arthur: Look, I'll have your leg. [Recieves a very sharp kick] Right! [Chops off one of the black knight's legs]
Black Knight: Right! I'll do you for that!
King Arthur: You'll what?
Black Knight: Come here!
King Arthur: What are you going to do, bleed on me?!
Black Knight: I'm invincible!
King Arthur: You're a looney.
Black Knight: The Black Knight always triumphs! Have at you! Come on then. [Hopping on one leg towards King Arthur]
[King Arthur chops his other leg off, leaving his body upright on the ground.]
Black Knight: Alright, we'll call it a draw.
King Arthur: Come, Patsy!
Black Knight: Oh, oh I see. Running away, eh?! You yellow bastards! Come back here and take what's coming to you! I'll bite your legs off!!
[Fade to black.]

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( the ranting scene by a french knight who is trying his outmost best to taunt the King Arthur and his Knights of the Round Table)

Frenchman: You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person! I blow my nose at you, so-called Ah-thoor Keeng, you and all your silly English K-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-niggits! [makes taunting gestures at them]
Sir Galahad: What a strange person.
King Arthur: Now, look here, my good man--
Frenchman: I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough water! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!
Sir Galahad: Is there anyone else up there that we can talk to?
Frenchman: No! Now go away or i shall taunt you a second time!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

( they meet the Knights of Ni , who demand a sacrifice or they would say say Ni to them.)

Head Knight: The Knights Who Say Ni demand a sacrifice!
King Arthur: Knights of Ni, we are but simple travelers who seek the enchanter who lives beyond these woods--
Knights of Ni: Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!
King Arthur: Oh, ow!
Head Knight: We shall say "Ni" again to you, if you do not appease us.
King Arthur: Well, what do you want?
Head Knight: We want a shrubbery!! [jarring chord]

( later, while trying to find the shrubbery...)

King Arthur: Old crone! Is there anywhere in this town where we could buy a shrubbery?
[dramatic chord]
Old Crone: Who sent you?
Arthur: The Knights Who Say Ni.
Crone: Ah! No! Never! We have no shrubberies here.
Arthur: If you do not tell us where we can buy a shrubbery, my friend and I will say--we will say--"ni".
Crone: Ah! Do your worst!
Arthur: Very well! If you will not assist us voluntarily, "ni"!
Crone: No! Never! No shrubberies!
Arthur: Ni!
Sir Belvedere: No! No!
Arthur: No, no, no, no, it's not that, it's "ni".
Belvedere: No!
Arthur: No, no, "ni". You're not doing it properly.
Belvedere: No! Ni!
Arthur: That's it, that's it, you've got it.
Arthur, Belvedere: Ni! Ni!
Roger: Are you saying Ni to that old woman?
King Arthur: Er, yes.
Roger: Oh, what sad times are these when passing ruffians can say Ni at will to old ladies. There is a pestilence upon this land. Nothing is sacred. Even those who arrange and design shrubberies are under considerable economic stress at this period in history.
King Arthur: Did you say shrubberies?
Roger: Yes, shrubberies are my trade. I am a shrubber. My name is Roger the Shrubber. I arrange, design, and sell shrubberies.
[slight pause]
Sir Belvedere: Ni!
King Arthur: [stops him] No! No, no, no! No!

King Arthur: O Knights of Ni, we have brought you your shrubbery. May we go now?
Head Knight: That is a good shrubbery. I like the laurels particularly. But there is one small problem.
King Arthur: What is that?
Head Knight: We are now no longer the Knights Who Say Ni.
Random Knight: Ni!
Head Knight: [to Random Knight] Shh, shh. [to Arthur] We are now the Knights Who Say Ekke-ekke-ekke-ekke-ptang-zoo-boing. [fades into mumbling].
Random Knight: Ni!
Head Knight: Therefore, we must give you a test.
King Arthur: What is this test, O Knights of--Knights Who 'Till Recently Said Ni?
Head Knight: Firstly, you must find another shrubbery! [jarring chord]
King Arthur: Not another shrubbery!
Head Knight: Then, when you have found the shrubbery, you must place the new shrubbery here beside the other shrubbery, only slightly higher so we get the two-level effect with a little path running down the middle.
Knights of Ni: A path! A path!
Head Knight: Then! When you have found the shrubbery, you must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest wi-i-i-i-ith a herring!!
[jarring chord]

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bwahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!

GOODNIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

"Time Is Running Out"

I think I'm drowning
Asphyxiated
I wanna break this spell
That you've created

You're something beautiful
A contradiction
I wanna play the game
I want the friction

You will be the death of me
You will be the death of me

Bury it
I won't let you bury it
I won't let you smother it
I won't let you murder it

Our time is running out
Our time is running out
You can't push it underground
You can't stop it screaming out

I wanted freedom
Bound and restricted
I tried to give you up
But I'm addicted

Now that you know I'm trapped sense of elation
You'd never dream of
Breaking this fixation

You will squeeze the life out of me

Bury it
I won't let you bury it
I won't let you smother it
I won't let you murder it

Our time is running out
Our time is running out
You can't push it underground
You can't stop it screaming out
How did it come to this?
Oh

You will suck the life out of me

Bury it
I won't let you bury it
I won't let you smother it
I won't let you murder it

Our time is running out
Our time is running out
You can't push it underground
You can't stop it screaming out
How did it come to this?
Oh

damn it, i still miss you. i can't break this spell that u created.

damn damn damn damn damn.

how did it come to this?

guess it's a sign tt our time is running out.

ps. shoot me. i'm using lyrics to say how i feel.damn muse for coming up with something so addictive.

Monday, June 09, 2008

I don't wanna believe that it's over now.

i am bored. hungry and seriously pining. the sudden flashes of pain i experienced yesterday has led me to believe that i am indeed, the person ," with the worst luck in the world", as put in by a wise fren of mine.

but you are seriously fucking me up.
what's with the phone call in the morning?
i woke up only 18 mins after u called.
a sign, perhaps, that for now, we are too much into missing each other?
are u playing me, or are u also in a rut of what to do?

what am i thinking?

i can bet you aren't even thinking of me.

damn it, i still miss u.

but i'm on the verge of moving on.

at least....

tell me.....

where i stand...

i wish.....

i freaking knew what you were thinking!

it's over now.

You are The Moon

Hope, expectation, Bright promises.

The Moon is a card of magic and mystery - when prominent you know that nothing is as it seems, particularly when it concerns relationships. All logic is thrown out the window.

The Moon is all about visions and illusions, madness, genius and poetry. This is a card that has to do with sleep, and so with both dreams and nightmares. It is a scary card in that it warns that there might be hidden enemies, tricks and falsehoods. But it should also be remembered that this is a card of great creativity, of powerful magic, primal feelings and intuition. You may be going through a time of emotional and mental trial; if you have any past mental problems, you must be vigilant in taking your medication but avoid drugs or alcohol, as abuse of either will cause them irreparable damage. This time however, can also result in great creativity, psychic powers, visions and insight. You can and should trust your intuition.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

DrEaMz....

Sunday, June 08, 2008

Rules: Each blogger starts with 10 random facts or habits about themselves.

1) i hate chilli with my food. any type. even if u insist that the rice goes well with the chilli, i would refuse you.
2) i used to be a giant crybaby. until my teacher kinda scolded me in primary 2.
3) my dad is of french citizenship. yes, u read right, french.
4)i love goth metal. but i'm also a rock and pop fan.
5) i still have this huge fantasy where i am the greatest mage in the world and can summon electric balls of fire at my disposal
6) i have this habit of singing out loud from my iPod. This usually gets ppl to beat me up and down with huge sticks
7) i am basically a giant kid at heart. i still sleep with my stuffed toys.
8)i have this habit of shouting random stuff on the internet. my favourite phrase now is," your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!"
9)my frens are as weird as i am.
10) i know tt deep down, u ppl out there love me.

1. Have you ever loved someone?
Ans: infatuated, many times. not sure about love.

2. Who is more important to you? Friends or Bf?
Ans: i'll tell u when i get one.

3. Who are the people you trust most?
Ans: TMNT, fyifyi, melvin, laurent, maxime, siti , chester, fion, and surprisingly , You Rong.

4. Do you think you have enough confidence?
Ans: sorry, the girl suffers from much low self-esteem

5. Are you missing someone now?
Ans: yes.

6. Do you believe in seeing rainbow after the rain?
Ans: I have seen it, even when it doesn't rain,showing i can create my own rainbows.

7. What is your goal for this year?
Ans: Study hard for exams, eat loads of good food, listen to loads of music, and read loads. oh yeah, and if possible, find true love.

8. Do you believe in eternity love?
Ans: surprisingly, yes.

9. What feeling do you love most?
Ans: that feeling of exhilaration and giddiness , the one tt makes u on top of the world.

10.What are the requirements you wish from your other half?
Ans: a sense of humour, a load of intelligence, someone who can stand me.

11. List the best moments in your life.
Ans: Drama, finishing something dramatic, standing up to make a speech.

12. What do you hate most?
Ans: ppl who deceive others for no good reason, traitors.

13. Between Love & Money.
Ans: brother, can u spare a dime?

14. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
Ans: for me to be alive to laugh at life.

15. Do you love anime?
Ans: i watch it with a passion.

16. Describe the person who tagged you using 5 words.
Ans: british colonial funny monkey dude!

17. What have you done to please yourself?
Ans: read books, listen to music, run down to bother ppl.

18. Name your favourite quote
Ans: your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!

19. What do you want most for your birthday?
Ans: fun, and luck.

20. What are the saddest moments in your life?
Ans: the times when i get hungry, am missing my ipod, and getting no entertainment. and also missing the one i like.

Instructions:Remove one question from above and add in your personal question.Make a total of 20 questions and tag 8 people.List them out at the end of the post.Notify them in their cbox that they've been tagged.Whoever does the tag will have blessings from all :D

for the first: i dunno, anyone who wants to do this can do this.
the second: bwahahaha.... fyifyi, rebecca, laurry, christine, wan yi, chester, YJ AND OBVIOUSLY....AMY!!!