DrEaMz ....

My rock god is someone who plays Disney Covers On YouTube.

2011-01-03T13:25:00.003+08:00

Happy pancake day!

In any case, it's been, what? nearly over a month since i last wrote on this thing.So buttons.Which makes me wonder exactly why dun I ever delete thing stupid blog of thoughts when I got Twitter.

My answer? PROOF! Yes , I still keep this address abr in a foolish attempt to make sure that when I become famous , or achieve my destiny of any kind, there would be evidence of me being human and thusly more believable.One day, some 50 or so fangirls will be hanging on to my musings as I paint my nails with dark green nail polish .

(Yes, I managed to find some yesterday, screw the masses for sticking to their pretty reds and pinks. For that matter, their choice of green sometimes is rather questionable. Really? Lime green?Are you planning to direct traffic with that or trying to prove how hip you are that you can bring new fresh colours? For the record, i chose dark green this time instead of my customary black cause Jamie, aka Sessh, aka Lin Jia Yi for further references should some day he starts to rule the world as a top secret villain of some sort, said that green was a fresh colour and would help in breaking the monotony nicely. Wow, this parantheses rant is so long, I could wallpaper my iPod screen with it.)

This sudden want to record my thoughst have nothing to do with the fact that a certain curly haired brunette who used to cover disney songs on the youtube used to have a journal too. Yes, back in the year 2004 when he was but a teenager in college and I was a lowly 14 year old tripping out a post and thinking that dogs were the best idea for a blogskin, Darren Criss had a live journal account.And its a funny livejournal account. How is it possible that someone can look at a record of thoughts and say, " ahaha, I was so lame back then" and then think about how much of a better place they are in now? Look at me! It's been near 6 years , wait....7 years, I keep forgetting its 2011, and I'm still the same screwed up teenager i was back in 2004. True, I have now had more time to be able to get better and more understanding friends, I still keep in touch with a few choice good old friends, but still, making friends in the year 2011 is the same situation as making friends in the year 2004 aka extremely painful.

Anyway, gonna skip the whole emoing blog thing.

I've been obsessing over Darren Criss for the past 4 months. I believe my friends are getting rather tired of it, and I would , most probably in the year 2050, come back to this address, if the internet still exists and this blog isn't replaced by some sort of super website destined to eat our brains of some sort until we fall to our knees, praying to this false idol and feeding it time.

I would come back and show this to an impressionable young soul, and explain to him the concept of Past Internet, in comparison to the Internet God. And then maybe he'll scroll through it, complaining of its archaic looks and its non moving graphics while wondering why the words were all so tiny. Then he'll read my thoughts , wondering why was the old lady a weirdo even back in the early 21st century. Maybe then he might realise that people , no matter when or where, never change. They just learn to hide it better.

Well, hide it better than 20 year old kids who wear dark green nail polish on their hands, anyway.

Yes, I'm green with Jealousy. But then again, you look positively engorged in Purple Pride. Lose some weight, or choose a better colour.

2010-11-24T19:49:00.002+08:00

I'm sorry to say this, but I'm freaking jealous.

I know I'm not supposed to be , but then again, it seems like every one is able to make friends, study hard and then get good boyfriends and girlfriends.

I know, I should subscribe to the whole, " Love yourself first.Greatest love of all "and all that crap. But it seems like everyday I just begin to get more misanthropic about myself and my life. With every ring of the phone comes a period of silence for me. It's like I suddenly got forced into a period of solitary meditation.

It's weird. The point in my life when I should be adjusting to myself and my principles, I suddenly start going through another Identity Crisis . Which is weird. According to what I've read in my psych textbook, I should have gone through that question in my teenage years. Instead, I seemed to be back in that circle again to the beginning stages of teenage angst.

As I am so fond of quoting Freud's Defense Mechanism against Anxiety, I seem to be doing a few of his techniques at the same time. Hm....I have been Projecting, that is, throwing my true feelings and pushing them to others , repressing , Regressing ( the stage which I seem to be at at the moment) , then denial. I'm surprised that I'm still alive after facing all these feelings at the same time. Definitely unlike a certain red head, who was said to have the emotional range of a teaspoon.

I don't know. It's just that after such a long period of time, I'm acting like a childish person again. Wait, my apologies. I was always a childish person.

So why am I jealous again? While I seem to be overthinking every step of the way and being neurotic ( interesting, the definition of this is the propensity to think of bad thoughts) , everyone , on the other hand seem to be well adjusted, happy teenagers, with friends that they can get along with in class, or are so close that they can wear the same t-shirts on the same day. They also seem to be so close that they wait for each other and shit like that.

Me? I hang with a group of people, a group of individuals that, if not for the set of circumstances presented before us, would never have met. We are too different , most of us, and sometimes I feel like we merely hang out to cling to the belief that we were not alone in this world. We don't do the things normal friends do, besides buy and share food.We don't gush. We don't really hang out outside school. And seriously, we are too different to be considered friends.birds of a feather.

Of course, you may say that perhaps I am looking too much at the suferficial level of things, that even deep down , we are all the same. Somehow, I doubt that idea. Until now, the only thing really keeping us together is nonsense.

Speaking of which, I just did an essay about how social networking sites have managed to rewire our brains. Because of the technological advances, all of us have unfortunately developed these problems. We become more narcisstic, posting things about ourselves that we think the world would wish to see, when really it's just an opportunity for us to show off, or grab attention, or get people to take pity on us. What is that, really? Instead of bringing people together, we just seem to be developing our own worldly bubble within the giant social bubble called the internet. We begin to find the need to fulfill our self gratification, so sure are we that we think that like the internet, which can find things in a jifty, life is exactly like that. We become more impatient and more inclined to abandon our ambitions and problems because they are took ardous or taking too long. Why plant a tree in your garden when you can get one fully grown in 1 day, with no risk of pesticides?

I feel the full risk of that everyday, reader. Even as much as I love Trevor, I fear the day he manages to suck me into his world, with the result being that I pay no heed to the world outside. Or again, is this my attempt to lay off participating in this world?

All the same, I still get jealous. Of those out there who seem to have it well enough.

Bimbo moment : OH. EM. GEE.

2010-11-21T21:29:00.002+08:00

Like hello, people!!!!

The polar bear is back , after ten years, ( actually 9 months) of not blogging!

So who gives a fuck if I don't update? Instant fuckable shit.

I'm freaking cold!

I know i should be updating my blog cause it's easier for me to rant instant of twitter....but guess what?

CHAMPA IS TOO LAZY TO.

I hear many of you viewers going, " AHAHA!' I KNEW IT~!"

So i guess i will rant here once in two weeks or something. Don't depend on it too much, cause Champa is actually the laziest polar bear she has ever met.

so......fuckles off, people~!

A poem of despair and less of hope. Helps in the situation when I don't really have any feelings.

2010-02-27T03:39:00.002+08:00

Once on a yellow sheet of paper with green lines
He wrote a poem
And he called it “Chops”
Because that was the name of his dog
And that’s what it was about
And his teacher gave him an A
And a gold star
And his mother hung it on the kitchen door
And read it to his aunts
That was the year Father Tracy
Took all the kids to the zoo
And he let them sing on the bus
And his little sister was born
With tiny toe nails and no hair
And his mother and father kissed a lot
And the girl around the corner sent him a
Valentine signed with a row of X’s
And he had to ask his father what the X’s meant
And his father always tucked him in bed at night
And was always there to do it

Once on a piece of white paper with blue lines
He wrote a poem
And he called it “Autumn”
Because that was the name of the season
And that’s what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
And asked him to write more clearly
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
Because of the new paint
And the kids told him
Father Tracy smoked cigars
And left the butts in the pews
And sometimes they would burn holes
The was the year his sister got glasses
With thick lenses and black frames
And the girl around the corner laughed at him
When he asked her to go to Santa Claus
And the kids told him why
His mother and father kissed a lot
And his father never tucked him in bed at night
And his father got mad
When he cried for him to do it

Once on a paper torn from his notebook
He wrote a poem
And he called it “Innocence: A Question”
Because that was the question about his girl
And that’s what it was all about
And his professor gave him an A
And a strange steady look
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
Because he never showed her
That was the year Father Tracy died
And he forgot how the end
Of the Apostle’s Creed went
And he caught his sister
Making out on the front porch
And his mother and father never kissed
Or even talked
And the girl around the corner
Wore too much makeup
That made him cough when he kissed her
But he kissed her anyway
Because that was the thing to do
And at three A.M. he tucked himself into bed
His father snoring soundly

That’s why on the back of a brown paper bag
He tried another poem
And he called it “Absolutely Nothing”
Because that’s what it was really all about
And he gave himself an A
And a slash on each damned wrist
And he hung it on the bathroom door
Because this time he didn’t think
He could reach the kitchen

Written by: Dr. Earl Reum

So , this is the perks of reading The Perks Of Being a Wallflower. This poem was featured on the book, and to be frank, reading that, as well as the book, have sort of given me a despairing sort of view.

2010-02-27T02:24:00.002+08:00

so, what with me being stuck in this country, I'm dreadfully afraid I am going to turn into either a lump of mosquito food or a bag of meat dumped into the cellar.

with me in such a rut, the pastime have been spent usefully in typing out fanfic, reading, getting music and being an ass to my frens. Not till annoying orange standards, but whatever.

By the way, I have been watching the annoying orange.

Is it too strange when I say that the orange doesn't seem annoying to me? Good lord, I have become one with the annoyance so much so I can't distinguish what is annoying anymore.

Okay, i just had one of those arguments about my future, and my mom is mad at me for bringing everything up again.

I hate stuff like that. ever had those convos where you hate hurting someone , but u have to bring it up? and she gets mad at you?

never have I expected myself to feel so dejected.

I feel so empty
i possibly might have no future.
I might relegate myself to running that bloody shop until i die.
i hate myself.
okay, gotta be positive. be nice. be nice. be nice.

but it sucks to be poor.

As a member of the species, when a guy looks great as a girl, you should feel insulted. Unless it's Prussia.

2010-02-26T03:22:00.003+08:00

Even as a GIRL, Prussia is seriously hot. Though he conversation with Germany is hilarious.

and Matthew! Seriously, seriously love you. as a girl, you and your sister are good looking. You're still my fave .....

nyotalia is seriously great. But also gives me a lower self esteem...

Posts From Posts Past......Alliteration Rules.

2010-02-20T23:36:00.002+08:00

30 Things To Do In An Exam When You Know You're Going To Fail It Anyways!
( i found this on facebook, enjoy!)

1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"

2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.

4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.

6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.

7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

8. Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.

9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.

12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Fuck this!" and walk out triumphantly.

14. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go drink.)

15. Show up completely drunk (completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).

16. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.

17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.

18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.

19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.

20. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.

21. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.

22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.

23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.

24. Masturbate.

25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the hell are you? Where's the regular guy?"

26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!

27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"

29. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.

30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

I re-read my old posts and feel as though i've developed as a person from 2005. 5 years going, people. I've been using this address for that long.

And let's celebrate my lonely existence here! ( throws confetti.)

Yo ho, yo ho a Hikkomori life for me....

2010-02-19T23:32:00.001+08:00

Ah, Gilbert. Even with glasses, you can be so good looking.....

2010-02-18T21:06:00.002+08:00

Anyone recognise this? eh? If you're singporean, you'll def will.

So in any case, Thanu asked me to do a survey based on this commercial for her class. It traumatised me for life, it did. so here are my answers for it.

1. Did this ad catch your attention in any way? **if yes, please state how.

Answer: Considering the fact that they spent half the commercial focusing on the bouncity bounce of the boobs, unfortunately it did catch my attention. I believe it also has scarred me for life. And seriously, bouncity bounce?

2. Were you tempted to purchase this company’s services after watching it?

To be frank, no. I'm very happy with the way my boobs bounce or are, thank you very much. And since I am not a mother of two, I do not need it as of yet.

3. Do you believe the ad was successful in getting people to buy into its services, and if so, why?

The advert has a two way effect, While women may choose to do so because of the fact they want their boobs to bounce again so that they'll feel self confident, others may feel either more inferior at the fact that the women's boobs bounced or the idea that women want their boobs to be big and bounce that way. Honestly, isn't that a little over generalising? Some women may not like to bounce their boobs like basketballs!

4. Were you offended by this ad in anyway? And if so, why or how?

Somehow, yes. Who wears such cleavage revealing clothes to pick children up from school anyway?! Isn't that sending the wrong message to kids that their mommies need to wear such in order to be good looking and be the envy of the school yard? Hello?! What the hell!

And that's sending a subliminal message that in order to look good, they have to wear booby showing clothes! That's not something that kids wanna know! You're scarring them for life! And giving them the message that you need to be boobylicious to be envied in society!

And the beginning of the advert was so chauvinistic! So you get your boobs to bounce again. Does every man in the road need to act that way?! That is not sending the message out that you have to have a healthy body image!

5. If you were offended, were you offended by the ad or the services it was advertising

Sorry, I was too much into ranting .

I was more offended over the ad than the services. I mean, sure, I do think its okay for women to want to have a confident view of their bodies, yes, but not through a commerical like that! Its sending the wrong message! In order to look good or be confident, you need it? That's not the way it goes!

6. Did this ad make you feel inferior? Or that you were lacking in any way after watching it?

The ad merely made me more afraid of places like that. And I am happy with the way my body is. I don't want my boobies to bounce.

7. Do you believe they should have used a different advertising tactic?

While I have no suggestion to give on how to do that, they do need to change it. Please.

Yes, the over traumatised have weird answers for their work.

Sometimes, some things you don't know is a good thing.... thing.

2010-02-17T05:02:00.002+08:00

You are a Chibi Seme!

You are the seme in disguise. Able to fit in and get along with uke and seme alike, you are able to get close to the uke on their level before exerting your dominance. This makes you at times manipulative and able to fool others about your true seme nature. Because of your harmless appearance, it takes the flamboyant Flaming Uke to match wits and really bring out your aggressive side to expose you for the seme that you are.

Most compatible with: Flaming Uke, Badass Uke

Least compatible with: Dramatic Uke

What seme or uke are you? Take the experience at SemeUke.com, or find merchandise here.

Never let it be said that I'm a prude. If you consider the fact that I know what a seme and an uke is,you gotta fear what else I do know....

I only support V'Day in honour of my OTP.

2010-02-16T18:29:00.002+08:00

SHE LIKED MY GIFT!

SHE LIKED MY GIFT!!!

SHE LIKED MY GIFT!!!!!

sjsdbsbvdamnimsodarnhappyslapmesillykshdz,bfheesal!

oh, and i received a very evil gift which i must admit was one of the most delightfully insane gifts i've ever received. I gotta hand it to you. You're even more insane than I am.

YOU HEAR THAT, PEOPLE? THERE'S A GIRL MORE INSANE THAN I AM RUNNING AROUND! SHE'S MY GOD!

FanGirl rising.....

2010-02-13T17:32:00.000+08:00

I went kyaa...

I actually shouted kyaa.......

i have gotta stop getting too happy over canada....

for a pair of nations that are different as day and night, but are still cute.

2010-02-12T16:41:00.003+08:00

Happy birthday, spain! Don't you look cool in a matador outfit! yayzies! I really hope that you'll have a good crop of tomatoes this year! Don't worry about romano...he loves you, but he's just so shy about it! have a great day!

and not forgetting someone else whose birthday was the day before :

NIHON-san!! DANJYOUBU OMETETOU! it's great to see you turn another year older!!yay! lay off the salted salmon for awhile. It's tasty , but too much of it is bad for you.i hope you get a cat for your birthday by greece san!

My NAME is MATTHEW, I'm....who?

2010-02-10T18:10:00.002+08:00

So I was happily reading from the Prussia x Canada community, when i came across this author's stuff from the series, Become One With Canada. I was quite a big fan of hers, cause I felt that she wrote one of the few best Prussia Canada fics.

See, here's the thing that have led to my misconception.

One, most Hetalia fans are girls. That is a valid assumption. So far, during my observation of pics of cosplayers and some snooping of some people's journals, I can readily testify that a lot of the cosplayers are girls. even though most of the characters there are guys. Go figure. It's the whole BL thing. Yeap, I'm turning into an Eliza as we speak.

Secondly, since it was a mostly female demograph, the fact that the community is one which ships a couple has gotta be a highly female one. I could imagine the females in a girls school, sitting together and chatting about it. Well, the whole bunch of us that love Prussia and Canada, that is. I believe most of us would be considered nerds. Hey, your loss if you dun get why we love stuff like that.

So why am I bringing this up? Well, firstly, I made a mistake. I shouldn't have assumed so readily that all fans of hetalia are girls. Cause the author of the story is a guy.

Wait, this is the best part! He's a transgendered guy!

I know, stupid of me, but i had to admit i was shocked.

Why?

I guess it was my perception that everyone around me was normal and that stuff like that never really happened. In my case, it reflects on my own personal upbringing and understanding of the people around me.

In Singapore or Hong Kong, if one were to openly go up to you and said that he or she was gay, the fact is, some people, especially those old ladies in the neighborhood that gather and eat cookies every week ( you know who you are) , would treat you like the plague. They might question, " are you sure?" or even dismiss it as, " Oh, its just a phase."

I guess its the same everywhere else. Look at it this way, we in Sg still can't repeal a damn Proposition. In America, they can't dismiss the Don't Ask Don't Tell policy. Dumbasses.

Why is it that people are so misguided? Its not as though its the only amazing thing in the world , that a man or a woman would have these sort of feelings,or would want to have certain tendencies.

Why do we condemn such things so easily when really, all humans are weird? I bet you ten cents that that lady next door to you, the one with the friendly cheerful face and offers you food, actually desires to have a more rollicking sex life, along with whips and chains and whipped cream.

In any case, I read through the journal of Elict, also known as Exorcistor, who has a few journals, the one I read was his feelings of being a transgendered male. It's inspiring, here itis.

So , what have I learnt today?

1) never assume. its something that I have been saying, but it jumps up and surprises me at time. So constant vigilance on that.
2) Everyone is essentially the same deep down, whether they like to be the uke in bed or the seme. If you guys like each other and are anime fans, I say you guys are frens with common interests.All of us still have the same fears and desires , we're still greedy and sad, we still want hope and happiness, we all dream and want to be recognized. I suppose that's the true reason why I support the fanship of Prussia and Canada, they both desire the same things and understand that despite their very shallow differences.
3) No matter how i may say i'm open minded about things, i'm still rather close minded. hm...gotta expand my perspectives....

Testing, Testing. Hello , World. Am I On the Air Yet?

2010-02-07T18:13:00.003+08:00

See what happens when I don't write anything for a few days?

NOTHING!

( whoops and throws confetti around.)

In fact, I think I'd pull a Drew Carey and get a recorder so that you can replay generic posts here, no need for me to show off my creativity and coolness.The staleness of this blog resembles a piece of stale baugette.

whoohoo, stale baugettes.

ew.

God , what is wrong with me?!

Nosiest, not noisiest,

2010-01-29T20:31:00.002+08:00

I have no idea why i like going to other people's blogs.

too much of a busybody, I am.

2010-01-27T02:46:00.002+08:00

stupidly, i was thinking, " hey, since i can't hang upside down on a tree branch, i shall halfway fall off the bed, with my arms supporting me to feel how it feels like."

shall never ever do that again.

Can you imagine how terrible it is when you've got everything and you're still desperately lonely? That is awful beyond words.

2010-01-22T17:18:00.003+08:00

it's been too long.

ever since i made the decision, i have never felt freer. To be free of that obligation 2 years back was one which has caused me much joy, much more freedom than i expected.No longer was I supposed to be happy when i was not , and the uncomfortability just made it worse for me. Thus, after she left, i severed most of my ties with them. she wanted me to be happy with them, and despite it, i still was unhappy. so i made it, and i was happy.

so why do i keep turning to the pages to see him? Have i become so sentimental that i've been pining for someone for that long?

it's been such a long time, and honestly, i hate it. This wretched feeling in my gut that makes me feel almost pity for that lost friendship. Too long, i have pushed people away even when i needed them the most and this one example was one of them . However, because of such, i have literally spoiled myself to trust others. this astonishing fear and lack of commitment was something i thought i banished 3 years ago. only too late do i now look back and realise that it was but an ersatz one.a pale imitation that had successfully deceived me and my mind.

sometimes i wonder if that's the reason why despite my friends, i am ultimately still standing alone. trying to encourage myself with more of the cliched in the end have still made me more unsettled with myself. sometimes i think that my insecure mind is at fault , the reason why i feel this way.

then i try to brush it off and occupy myself with unnecessary things.trying to think of what i said is more or less self pity and trying to get out of it is not helping. being alone so much tends to make you not realise when you're in it. its not pain i'm suffering. but what is it?

and for that matter, what does that make me? i'm supposed to be confident and strong, but its just a cry of attention so that someone in the end still remembers who i am. Sometimes i wonder if that why Gilbert acts up the way he is, the fact that he was once a great empire who conquerored so many other nations and now has to deal with the fact he's no longer that guy is the reason why he does what he does. In a way, i'm like him. the humour and sacarstic one liners is so that people still remember who i am, and i won't be forgotten.

what luck. i already am. and this is just evidence of my cry for attention. Boo hoo, look at the girl who always groans about how lonely she is, blah blah blah. no one understands her, she's more or less old news now. such a sensitive girl, what kinda person snaps so easily? why can't she just take it easy like the rest of us? why should she always shove herself into the limelight? attention seeking whore.

i hate this. i thought i was okay, i thought i was fine. turns out its just another lie in a whole series of one. hey, james , maybe you were right. cause i feel like one who can't handle the truth and lies to herself everyday.

2010-01-19T17:12:00.003+08:00

Sometimes, when you play with weird slogans, you get the weirdest things. Some of them were like that on the first try, i swear!

If Only Everything in Life was as Reliable as a Maple Syrup.

Generated by the Advertising Slogan Generator. Get more Maple Syrup slogans.

Come to Gilbert, and Let's Get It Done.

Generated by the Advertising Slogan Generator. Get more Gilbert slogans.

Which Twin has the Pasta?

Generated by the Advertising Slogan Generator. Get more Pasta slogans.

Get the Matthew Habit.

Generated by the Advertising Slogan Generator. Get more Matthew slogans.

Out Of The Strong Came Forth Ludwig.

Generated by the Advertising Slogan Generator. Get more Ludwig slogans.

Feliciano - The Appetizer!

Generated by the Advertising Slogan Generator. Get more Feliciano slogans.

Gilbert , you are the best.

2010-01-18T03:59:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GILBERT!!!!!!!!YOU AND YOUR AWESOMENESS AND YOUR GREAT 5 METERS ARE THE BEST! You can invade my vital regions anytime! I LOVE YOU! TONS!!!!!!!!

haha, my first time actually shouting out to someone i love....

2010-01-10T15:28:00.002+08:00

Three giant cats. Monster Tail. black cat. elder rhiannon?
Slovenia. I dreamnt of Slovenia. Big orange cat....norman? Devil. Transform into blood. Scissors. new weapon of the feline kingdom.

Doppelgangers Of Hong Kong.

2010-01-09T23:01:00.002+08:00

A funny thing happened while i was walking the streets of causeway bay a few hours ago...

I was trying to see if i could find a fedora when i saw a couple walk past me, looking quite stylish.
While this wouldn't normally be such a bad thing, as people are very stylish in hong kong,( which , if you contrast with me wearing a plain turtleneck, blue jeans, my converse jacks and high tops , with white earphone around my neck, makes me feel like a person who just stepped off the slowboat from china.actually, not really either, cause i've been to china, and the kids there are dressed cooler than me, which shows what? More that i'm rather slow to embrace the trends than my fellow peers.screw it.)the thing that made me stop and stare was that the guy, who was wearing a trenchcoat, a fedora and nice pants, looked a lot like that teacher i see in school, Mr Kelvin yew. Except this guy had a bit of a cool sorta stubble ( the kind that you can sort of shape with) , straight long hair ( as in in a ponytail sorta long) and was not as sunburnt as mr yew usually is.( sir, i mean you no harm nor offense if you ever see this.)

anyway, the idea of a teacher wearing such made me laugh.ah, the wonders of doppelgangers.

i bought leather cuffs today. finally, after like 10 years, i get the guts to buy such...i am such a wuss sometimes. i'm really behind on my chapter 5 for my fanfiction, i'm only halfway through and so far, after reviewing it, i have a feeling its gonna be longer than my usual amount. so sue me, i write a lot.

decided not to buy a fedora, it make my face look weird. decided to just wear one of my old hats in the closet. so sue me, i happen to like it.

i've been exploring my dad's cupboard and realised there are loads of things she never threw out of his. all the clothes inside the whole load of them belong to him. shit, i never realised that she still hung on to those. or maybe because the place has gotten cluttered up, and she's forgotten all about it. but whatever, one day i will personally open up all the cupboards and take out every piece of clothing inside. i dun bet on any cool t shirts , but there might be some good finds in there.
all this would have to be done when my mom doesn't notice, though.she'll kill me, apparently its really dusty in there, she doesn't want me to touch anything.

ah well, a bath, and then on the chapter 5. sorry its a bit shallow, but the things which i have been thinking of have now left me for the second, and i can't remember it.

ciao.

Vietnam , Prussia, Canada and Hong Kong

2010-01-06T17:48:00.005+08:00

Ladies and gentlemen, the great Himaruya has drawn countries which have been so great that they have now become rather close to my heart.Now let's start with a country I have lived in until i was 12.....HONG KONG! This guy is YJ's fav character, and I dubbed him as Donald Wong Xing Ci in my fanfiction. Loves firecrackers.Yeap, that's him up there, looking oh so nonchalant as he carries a panda, planning to sell it off the gullible people by telling them how much of a good luck charm it is.Unfortunately, Prussia, awesome as he is, falls for it. Oh Prussia.

Next, we have here is Prussia , ( the pale white haired one) and Canada, the blonde. It's a cute couple, which I think is one of the sweetest couples ever in Hetalia, unfortunately, many actually think this is a crack sort of pairing, which means that its not canon or gonna happen.

Which by the way, is so not true! argh, this is one of the best couples ever! PRUSSIA X CANADA FOREVER! NEVER DIE!

Both love maple syrup and pancakes, and canada usually carries around a white bear called kumajiro, which unfortunately forgets who he is. To be frank, every body forgets who canada is in the series.

Prussia likes to think that he's awesome, which he is, and usually has a chick riding on his head, which he never figures out. Fans dub him as Gilbird, and i gave him a full name in my fanfic :Beillschmidt's Extremely Awesome Rocket Bird which is Cool and Avenges Justice.Hey, he deserves his own name and his own TV show! yayzies!!!

I believe this is Vietnam, whch unfortunately has never been officially introduced in the series. But look at her! she's so cute!

On other topics, i've been trying to make Singapore . Somewhat.It hasn't been drawn in anyway before, so i'm gonna see if i try to make it.In my fanfic , I dubbed her as Leona Lee, a cute kid who throws durians and can beat up people.

Disclaimer: None of these images belong to me. Characters all belong to himaruya and the artists who drew this.....I own leona lee, cause she's my OC. bwahhahahahahahha.

New Art For The People

2009-12-30T19:40:00.002+08:00

NEW ART FOR THE PEOPLE

But for the cum in your hair,
The cocaine on your teeth
You'd be just like the girls
That I kissed on the heath
Your mother left and you're all alone
And the world is at your feet
You smell like ash, mildew and hash
Can barely even speak
And it's so sad that you're so sad and you're so bad for me
I followed your perfume as you ran down the street
I caught you and held you and pushed back your fringe and swore undying loyalty
We'll make a new art for the people,
A new art for the people
A new art for the people
you and me.

I followed you home
Knocked at your door
Offered myself in the kitchen
Passed out on the floor
And when you shout, I get terrified
And then I love you more
You sound middle class, but I'll let it pass,
I don't understand you at all
And it's so sad that you're so sad and you're so bad for me
I swallowed my pride with a pill and decided to give you back your key
You caught me and held me and I took your hand and swore undying loyalty
We'll make a new art for the people,
A new art for the people
A new art for the people
you and me.

Under the covers forever
Everything well within reach
A small price to pay for our freedom
And for our celebrity
Such ornaments and gorgeous things
Like string lights at the beach
Intensive care and conditioned air
And our faces on TV
And it's so sad but they're so glad that you're so bad for me
The dark days ahead and the blood on the bed and the cover of the NME
They gave us a cheque and took us by our necks and swore undying loyalty
We'll make a new art for the people,
A new art for the people
A new art for the people
you and me.

You gotta hear this song in order to understand the quality of the song. This band is one of the more understated, but one of the best bands ever. Admittedly, i only knew about this band when i was searching at the Prussia x Canada community at Livejournal. Yes, I'm still on the Hetalia thing. Its been 4 months, and I'm still so happy!

Currently I'm in love with Prussia, also known as Gilbert Bellischmidt and the other character is also absolutely love is Canada, Matthew Williams. And they are SO CUTE TOGETHER!i feel almost like the character of hungary, who is a yaoi fan and loves to watch boy on boy action. Then again, hetalia has a whole LOAD of the stuff.

sorry, where was i? oh yeah.

Currently, I'm still in hk, devoting my time to sleeping late, being bored, writing fan fiction, getting high on reviews and watching sit coms. For a girl who's supposed to be making the best use of her life since graduating, I'm not doing so bad.In comparison to my other frens , who are working and maybe doing something worthwhile, I'm actually just slacking the whole way through.I dunno whether that's actually a good thing or not.

One more week , ppl. I'll be back in singapore in one more week.

Now that I think about it , though, I wanna just go to Canada. Cause its a great state.
---------------
Well.

Clearly I was mistaken about the time of return.
Cause I'm returning even later than i thought.
Porca puttana.

Apparently, my mom has explained her reasons and she deems it reasonable for me to stay behind for a few more days.

And if i was in a more rational mood, i would have understood it.
But, even though i do...I'm just so mad. Che idiota sono. I should have seen it bloody coming .

and maybe, i am pissed.figlio di puttana. this always happens.

speaking of which, i had a dream tt i did well for lit.Judging by how my dreams usually go, i'm gonna fail lit then, or do spectacularly badly. figlio di puttana. I am so dead.

2009-11-28T16:38:00.003+08:00

Heyloh, it has been a long while since i wrote on my blog. Dun ask me why, but i just felt as though there was more or less nothing to talk about now.

i'm encountering a headache for some reason. apparently, even though i am in an air conditioned place, with a window that shows me a nice view of the singapore flyer and the sky, i still feel as though i'm dizzy. spinning headache-y dizzy.

ah well. i shall now try and cure my headache by entertaining you guys and talking about this anime i have ever so recently been so enamoured by: HETALIA: AXIS POWERS~!

Has anyone ever imagined countries being personified as humans? That the country of America would be a young, brash , nonsensical kid who loves burgers , being a hero and thinks he's awesome? Or the idea that Italy would be a slacking, lazy kid who's a bit dumb, surrenders a lot and loves pasta , cats , siestas , but still a very cheerful, happy , silly kid?

welcome to the world of Hetalia: Axis Powers , where countries can be very silly and very true to their characters , thus causing the silliness. Set mostly in WW2 context, while the story focuses on many countries, especially those from the Allied Forces ( China, England, America, Russia and France) and the Axis Powers ( The three big ones, Italy , Germany and Japan), the main story is centred around the hetare ( useless ) italy . The name hetalia itself is a pun on how the japanese pronounce italy in japanese ( Italia) and the word "hetare' , thus making a pun on the fact tt italy is rather useless .

Indeed, as we see in the series, italy , ( the brown haired brunette in the pic) is very slack as a country, whose only talents include cooking pasta, painting and i think soccer. That's why its a good thing ( in italy's view, although germany might say the opp) that italy has two other allies: Germany : a blonde, no nonsense tall man who lives by the rules and the code of a soldier; and Japan, a quiet, shy individual whose modesty, humble and rather like a housewife. With them , along with the crazy Allied Forces, the anime is a great way to laugh at world history. Most of these stories are actually based off real historical facts eg. France's proposal to England ( a hilarious story, by the way) is actually based off the French Minister's idea to join England to become the great british french union. Don't ask why.

Each anime episode is only around 5 mins long, so if you need a laugh , love world history but do not have the time to do so, i reckon five mins is good enough for you guys so that it doesn't take up much of your time, but however still hilarious. Besides, you can actually learn stuff from this anime!

So far, my fav character is still Italy ( cause i love italy, and i identify with much of what it does, being stuff that i usually do as well) but i love most of the characters they have there. France is funny as this guy who loves to be fashionable and cooks really well, Russia brings the house down ( my god, he does feel like he'll do so , huh) as the seemingly calm cheerful guy, but who has this thing about conquering other countries (" Soon, they'll all become one with Russia") and being so extremely scary that he frightens the Baltic Brothers . America as this brash crazy guy whose idea of solving global warming includes building a giant metal hero that would shield the earth from the sun is really silly, but adorable. All in all, the creator has seriously captured the essence for each personifies country, with all its good, bad and seriously weird points .I'll rate it 3.5 stars out of 5.

So lads and lasses, until the next time, tt's all there is!

2009-11-21T22:29:00.002+08:00

blank blank hummingbird thoughts flash colours
soul diesease life drain
dreams purple orange green
stars snake clang importance
brain calls isolated
need post hatred helpless
control blank alarm
Nothing.

2009-11-01T22:28:00.001+08:00

"Can you imagine how terrible it is when you've got everything and you're still desperately lonely? That is awful beyond words.
I'm so powerful on stage that I seem to have created a monster. When I'm performing I'm an extrovert, yet inside I'm a completely different man"

- Freddie Mercury.

2009-10-04T13:23:00.002+08:00

Okay, i know i shouldn't be doing this.

But i'm seriously curious. i mean, i know musical based shows in a high school are getting lame, especially ever since a certain blonde himbo *coughzacefroncough* made it popular with the ever creatively named high school musical, along with its equally imaginative named 2 and 3. good lord, pls, find a better name, disney!

anyway, about my praise....

so i've been listening to glee . Yes, i have somehow sucuumbed to the bandwagon. hah, bandwagon....lame... the point is, i blame journey. if only they didn't come up with " don't stop believing" i wouldn't be in this state. then glee came up with their cover and i got interested. And later, when they dragged kristin chenoweth into the mix, i started begging for mercy. but then , i got sucked in! Curse thee, Glee! i did not scorn high school musical and its sequels only to fall into your trap!

don't believe me? here's a clip :

i couldn't find don't stop believing, so i'll go with this. Rehab is good......

okay, i'm just gonna go and listen to some of the songs i downloaded, while trying to get the first episode of glee.

sue me. whatever

Easy come , easy go, little high , little low, anywhere the wind blows , doesn't really matter to me.

2009-09-21T23:04:00.002+08:00

Queen
Bohemian Rhapsody lyrics
Send "Bohemian Rhapsody" Ringtone to your Cell
Is this the real life?
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide
No escape from reality
Open your eyes
Look up to the skies and see
I'm just a poor boy (Poor boy)
I need no sympathy
Because I'm easy come, easy go
Little high, little low
Any way the wind blows
Doesn't really matter to me, to me

Mama just killed a man
Put a gun against his head
Pulled my trigger, now he's dead
Mama, life had just begun
But now I've gone and thrown it all away
Mama, ooh
Didn't mean to make you cry
If I'm not back again this time tomorrow
Carry on, carry on as if nothing really matters

Too late, my time has come
Sends shivers down my spine
Body's aching all the time
Goodbye, everybody
I've got to go
Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth
Mama, oooooooh (Anyway the wind blows)
I don't want to die
Sometimes wish I'd never been born at all

[Guitar Solo]

I see a little silhouetto of a man
Scaramouch, Scaramouch, will you do the Fandango
Thunderbolt and lightning, very, very frightening me
(Galileo) Galileo (Galileo) Galileo, Galileo Figaro
Magnifico-o-o-o-o
I'm just a poor boy nobody loves me
He's just a poor boy from a poor family
Spare him his life from this monstrosity

Easy come, easy go, will you let me go?
Bismillah! No, we will not let you go
Let him go
Bismillah! We will not let you go
Let him go
Bismillah! We will not let you go
Let me go (Will not let you go)
Let me go (Will not let you go) (Never, never, never, never)
Let me go, o, o, o, o
No, no, no, no, no, no, no
(Oh mama mia, mama mia) Mama Mia, let me go
Beelzebub has the devil put aside for me, for me, for me!

So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye
So you think you can love me and leave me to die
Oh, baby, can't do this to me, baby
Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here

[Guitar Solo]
(Oooh yeah, Oooh yeah)

Nothing really matters
Anyone can see
Nothing really matters
Nothing really matters to me

Any way the wind blows.....

This song just screams strange abstractness......and i kinda like it for that...,watch the full video, totally rad.....

Yes, i am a big fan of queen. sue me. i dun know all the songs yet, but that's gonna stop me....cause tonight i'm gonna have myself a good time, i feel alive .....and the world is turning inside out.....i'm floating around in ecstasy, so dun stop me ....( i'll repeat that) don't stop me now...cause i'm having a good time, having a good time....

shoot, i just nearly went into musical style singing.

2009-09-14T22:46:00.002+08:00

Dear M.

You asked me once if it was okay that we go to England to see Robbie Williams together.At that time, it seemed like it was a promise, a promise of things that were definite to come. Now i just wonder what would happen if things had turned out differently.....would we have fulfilled tt promise? For that matter, was i ever The One?

Dear F,

i give up arguing. I'm too tired to fight anymore. Truce?

Dear Y,

My apologies for my failures.Forgive me?

Dear M,

I think i gave you more white hair than you wanted.i'll sponsor hair dye in the future, i promise.

L,

dun kill me.

to me,

i think this should serve all the way till the end of nov. whaddya think?

back to me,

well, if it fits, and i catch you here......

2009-09-05T17:03:00.004+08:00

Hi again! Its me! the wonder girl!

Oh wait, i hate Superman and his affiliates. I mean, come on....he just takes off his glasses and NOBODY can figure out who he is? That just really really lame. Batman is so much more cooler. even homer says so.

and that wonderwoman too. Hilarious much.I just feel so humiliated for the both of them.

anyway, i'm a big fan of the sandman.( NOT the superhero. The Neil Gaiman version of him). Only graphic novel i would actually touch and read voraciously. sorry, batman. tt's just the way it is.i just bought his comics. right now one of them is with christine. be nice to the book, christine.i love tt book to bits too. then again, i'll see you on monday, so no rush.

and for that matter, i've just bought a new pair of earphones.whee and fun to me. Audio tech rocks. laurent says the sound quality's not bad, considering the price. for that, he halt not be smited. and to celebrate that, i bought the We Will Rock You soundtrack! YAY TO QUEEN! LOVE YOU VERY MUCH! thanks to queen, i've found a song that i've been craving for for a long time since i heard it in a cathay pacific airline commercial when i was 10.

hm...

You gotta hear this . Freddie is good looking in this one.

So anyway, Gp was okay, except for the compre. i keep saying tt and its really bad. I just hope i'll do fine .on the plus side, no lessons, so my world is now a magical world, of hope and wonder.

by the way, random clip .

who here remembers the Safety Dance,by Men without Hats? Its a fun song to dance too, considering its from the 80s.

ooh yes!! how can i forget!

see and try to make out what you will. all i can is, we have really weird politicians.

Like toy soldiers.

2009-08-29T20:41:00.003+08:00

My apologies, dear people, who have been searching for the past few weeks for news on me. It been nearly a month, i know, but somehow there just isn't much to blog .

okay, fine, i lied. i do have a lot of things to blog.

I'm lazy, sad to say . and i've been so tired for the past few days that i just couldn;t get the hang of writing.

but i guess the overall feel i have now is....weariness and numbness.

honestly, i just feel nothing now. that seems even worse than what happened in secondary school.

i'm lost and empty now.

i gained my wish? if i did, i must have been in my machochistic mood.

i gained nothing. NOTHING. You think i was happy with the decision i made?i stuck by my decision for a reason. i dun trust you anymore. that's all. that one act just cost you dear. i was this close to becoming normal.but then .....

i give up. i really just....

Step by step, heart to heart, left right left
We all fall down...

[Chorus]
Step by step, heart to heart, left right left
We all fall down like toy soldiers
Bit by bit, torn apart, we never win
But the battle wages on for toy soldiers

[Verse 1]
I'm supposed to be the soldier who never blows his composure
Even though I hold the weight of the whole world on my shoulders
I am never supposed to show it, my crew ain't supposed to know it
Even if it means goin' toe to toe with a Benzino it don't matter
I'd never drag them in battles that I can't handle unless
I absolutely have to
I'm supposed to set an example
I need to be the leader, my crew looks for me to guide 'em
If some shit ever just pop off, I'm supposed to be beside 'em
Now the Ja shit i tried to squash it, it was too late to stop it
There's a certain line you just don't cross and he crossed it
I heard him say Hailie's name on a song and I just lost it
It was crazy, this shit way beyond some Jay-z and Nas shit
And even though the battle was won, I feel like we lost it
I spent too much energy on it, honestly I'm exhausted
And I'm so caught in it I almost feel I'm the one who caused it
This ain't what I'm in hip-hop for, it's not why I got in it
That was never my object for someone to get killed
Why would I wanna destroy something I helped build
It wasn't my intentions, my intentions was good
I went through my whole career without ever mentionin' ...
Now it's just out of respect for not runnin' my mouth
And talkin' about something that I knew nothing about
Plus Dre told me stay out, this just wasn't my beef
So I did, I just fell back, watched and gritted my teeth
While he's all over t.v. down talkin' a man who literally saved my life
Like fuck it i understand this is business
And this shit just isn't none of my business
But still knowin' this shit could pop off at any minute cuz

[Chorus]

[Verse 2]
There used to be a time when you could just say a rhyme
And wouldn't have to worry about one of your people dyin'
But now it's elevated cuz once you put someone's kids in it
The shit gets escalated, it ain't just words no more is it?
It's a different ball game, callin' names and you ain't just rappin'
We actually tried to stop the 50 and Ja beef from happenin'
Me and Dre had sat with him, kicked it and had a chat with him
And asked him not to start it he wasn't gonna go after him
Until Ja started yappin' in magazines how he stabbed him
Fuck it 50 smash 'em, mash 'em and let him have it
Meanwhile my attention is pullin' in other directions
Some receptionist at The Source who answers phones at his desk
Has an erection for me and thinks that I'll be his ressurection
Tries to blow the dust off his mic and make a new record
But now he's fucked the game up cuz one of the ways I came up
Was through that publication the same one that made me famous
Now the owner of it has got a grudge against me for nothin'
Well fuck it, that motherfucker can get it too, fuck him then
But I'm so busy being pissed off I don't stop to think
That we just inherited 50's beef with Murder Inc.
And he's inherited mine which is fine ain't like either of us mind
We still have soldiers that's on the front line
That's willing to die for us as soon as we give the orders
Never to extort us, strictly to show they support us
We'll maybe shout 'em out in a rap or up in a chorus
To show them we love 'em back and let 'em know how important it is
To have Runion Avenue Soldiers up in our corners
Their loyalty to us is worth more than any award is
But I ain't tryna have none of my people hurt and murdered
It ain't worth it I can't think of a perfecter way to word it
Then to just say that I love ya'll too much to see the virdict
I'll walk away from it all before I let it go any further
But don't get it twisted, it's not a plea that I'm coppin'
I'm just willin' to be the bigger man
If ya'll can quit poppin' off at your jaws well then I can,
Cuz frankly I'm sick of talkin'
I'm not gonna let someone elses coffin rest on my conscience cuz

[Chorus]

perhaps i did gain my wish.or i got brainwashed.Think what you will. i think it would be best if the memory was just torn right out of my skull. that happy time when god created eden and eve took a bit of the apple.My attainment of knowledge and free will got me.

and here i am. shivering in the cold.

alone.

i didn't gain my wish, did i? I know you did.be happy now.

2009-07-31T15:54:00.001+08:00

"Sunday, 26 February '09
OUR SPECIAL GIRL TURNS 19!! Champa chose time, venue and itinerary with (I think) Laurent and Melvin and I was really thankful because I think we all simply had a great time. Of course, it would have been better if we could have started earlier instead of Isabella, Fiqri, Melvin and I having to wait for dear Champa to arrive *late* at Dover MRT station. Oh well, one always has to come fashionably late, especially when it's your own party, right?

After getting fetched by Laurent from the, err, first floor of his condo, where Champa was seized with fits of laughter because supposedy of our escort, we went up and got things started. Kar Yee came just behind us, making me wonder whether we were really slow or she walks extra fast. Namely, we just played games and Laurent was in the kitchen cooking. Haha. Guilty, I just busted my way into the kitchen and disturbed him to let me help, which wasn't much really since I just ended up just passing him stuff most of the time. Man, if only I can cook too. And him and his parents were so nice to have purchased everything for us, plus Champa's aunt and uncle providing the biggest karaoke room FOC. This party was definitely ideal, especially for poor students like us (well, except for Melvin and his LV fetish) since the whole day cost nothing. Haha. That makes us really reeaaalllyyy happy, more notably for constantly broke people like me. After a scrumptious dinner of our just made Mac 'N' Cheese Thomas Jefferson style, roasted chicken and a yummy healthy salad, it was time to walk over for karaoke time.

Since before, I never really understood Asians and their "morbid" interest in karaoke. Filipinos, Singaporeans, Koreans...EVERYONE does it. After a couple of failed tries back in Fairfield times where we just ended up mostly too embarassed to sing, just staring and eating, I swore off KTV forever. Until that day. Haha. It turns out to be a lot of fun, with the right mood and the right people. Of course, Isabella refused to hold the mic the whole night through, the stubborn, free-spirited and anti-conformist person that she is. Even Fiqri tried a few tunes, though it ended up mostly in Melvin's hands the whole night through anyways. Argh, HIM AND HIS CHINESE SONGS. Really, after so many Chinese songs warble by the warped songbird that is Melvin, we had enough. I think we sang so much we could have lost our voices, trying to reach high notes or crazy ranges. We reminisced old favourites such as Linkin Park and even much older ones from Abba and The Carpenters. Somehow I could envision us like this 20 years down the road, older but not neccessarily wiser (especially in Melvin's case).

Then it was time to go home, since the next day was still a school day, except for some people who had a self-declared holiday. We walked towards Buona Vista MRT, all tired but happy, me mistaking on the way that One Rochester was some Chinese restaurant. Laurent was nice enough to help me watch out for my bus in my blinded state and see me off to the bus. Hee. Thanks dude. Oh, and I feel quite apologetic to his family, us being a rowdy bunch even while just playing Monopoly and Cluedo (argh, sounds so nerdy doesn't it?).

Photos and videos later. Blogger is currently being retarded."

quoted from christine's blog. I'm sorry, but she did it quite well, so i gotta say. kudos to christine! whoohoohoo!

notes: I was laughing my head off because of laurent's shirt. we had barely walked in when we were met by a guy wearing a blue picnic blanket and grey slacks. I'm sorry, but i think the fact tt laurent was wearing a collared shirt and long pants while his usual outfits include t shirts and shorts just got me laughing my head off.

so sue me. It was quite funny really.

we have had a good day that day. the fact tt i delayed the posting of it shows two things:

no. 1: i am a born procrasinator.
no. 2 : there are better writers out there.

( sorry, its just an excuse for my laziness....)

anyway, i've got wonderful presents! a black shawl, chocolate, 2 new necklaces ( one good luck charm, one which i am wearing now), an award for best fren ( a medal and an award together, thanks much, fikri!) and all the funniest acts tt day.

funny really, many teenagers go clubbing and drink their way through the birthday on tt day. Me, i play board games, eat mac and cheese, chicken and salad , and go singing " lady marmalade" on the karaoke floor. So yeah....THANKS LAURENT! AFTER ALL THE BUGGING, YOU ACTUALLY MADE MAC AND CHEESE FOR ME!!!REMIND ME NEVER BUG YOU AS MUCH AGAIN NEXT TIME! YAY TO THE CHEF! AND A GOOD THING YOU KEPT ME OUT OF THE KITCHEN!

and speaking of which....YAY TO ALL OF YOU WHO SENT ME ALL THOSE MESSAGES ON MY PHONE AS WELL AS FACEBOOK! i never felt so loved! (yeah right, not really loved, but happy.)

and best of all, yay to all those who were with me!

christine, a good singer, there is nobody , nobody who can sing as well as you.( clap clap).

Laurent, for the food , the dry comments, the falling curtain as well as the backup dancing and singing, yay! krauser san forever! we should do a cover of satsugai together! ( complete with music video as well as scary closeups of your face....heeheehee).

Isa, for being her sardonic self as well as a competitive, " ARGGHHHHH!!! WHY CAN'T I BUY MAYFAIR!!!I DUN HAVE ANY MONEY!!" sequence. That was also complete with a , " YAY~! I BOUGHT THREE RAILWAYS! I'M A MONOPOLY! I HAVE MONEY NOW!"( yeah, we get scary playing monopoly.)

fikri, for just being himself. tuck out your shirt next time, dear lad.and sing more often too.i love the award!

Kar Yee, her usual sacarstic self brought the house( mostly the curtain ) down. you are a surprisingly good singer! let's go singing more often next time!

Melvin, being his usual crazy self, on the piano, while singing all his old chinese songs ( while making tons of chinese mistakes. isa was shouting them out while he was singing), while dancing ( pls, no more shaking your ass. its blinding)and for just being there while taunting me with a present.

Siti, while not being there, gave me a wonderful present as well as a moving letter.

and all to the rest of you guys....just for being yourselves. thank you. thank you so much.

my god. this turned into a corny blog post. remind me, update my blog more so tt it turns out into this.....

post script:

why does everyone pan pierce brosnan's performance in Mamma Mia? Come on, he was indeed james bond, but he's a decent singer, its not as if he sang out of tune!and besides, how could you pan him?! he's gorgeous! like the other guys ( starts listing down): geroge clooney, richard gere, jeremy irons, russell brand, daniel radcliffe, abhichek babchan, john abrahams, shah rukh khan, imran khan....yes the last few are bollywood actors, sue me! they're hot !)I'm listening to the soundtrack of mamma mia! the movie, and his performance was decent in S.O.S.! remind me, continue singing " does your mother know?" a wonderful song, in my opinion.

2009-07-27T23:36:00.001+08:00

blank

dazed

contused

white

nothing.

2009-07-14T19:29:00.002+08:00

has anyone ever doubted the genius of sacha baron cohen in his real life persona? my god, its hilarious.

Okay, maybe going into the whole idea of borat and bruno was a bit silly, considering, but still, its funny.

but anyway, he is really really hot in real life. gorgeous hair and eyes.

has anyone mentioned tt im hungry?

well, i am.
i need to find some food.

2009-07-05T15:53:00.002+08:00

the blog is dying, gonna do something to revive it.

so i've been thinking, perhaps its time i get myself a real cat.

what?

i said.....wait, what?

i asked first.

well, i get to ask now.who the hell are you?

*snigger*

dun you go all sniggery on me!

i wasn't.

yeah right.

you gotta get a grip on yourself, milady.

No one ever calls me tt.

you know you want to-

oh come on, i hate this whole ambigulative crap

oh really ? then what about yourself?

say what?

ambigularity defines who you are. and u hate it?

not my fault, its just tt it gets all so crazy...dun change the subject!

* laughs* i'm afraid i already did.

once again. who are you?

I'm tt little voice in your head that tells you what to do and not to do. the one tt shows you all the funny stuff. the one tt makes you laugh. or cry. the one tt really knows tt all this while, the whole time, you've just been screaming for attention . for someone . you need all tt attention, cause its just not enough, is it?

.........

* quiet laugh* she knew you'll say tt.

who?!

you know it yourself well enough.

Hot and Cold

2009-06-25T20:50:00.003+08:00

"someone ! call the doctor! got a case of a love -bipolar!"
Katy Perry

old habits die hard, huh?

yes, i do miss u.

but it was only a year old fascination..

but would u remember tt ?

2009-06-11T20:05:00.000+08:00

yes, i'm not pretty. Tt doesn't stop me from being egoistic.

Tilly and the Wall : Pot Kettle Black Lyrics

2009-06-03T21:35:00.000+08:00

I bet you think we didn’t know
Didn’t even see the tides change
But it’s a small, small world, girl
Getting even smaller every day

I bet you think we didn’t know
Didn’t even see the tides change
But it’s a small, small world, girl
Getting even smaller every day

You can fake that smile
For a hollow while
But the kids all learn
Once those bridges burn

Ssssssssssssss

The trash washes up to shore
Even in this landlocked place
The shit gets thicker
It’s toxic
Get it out my face

The trash washes up to shore
Even in this landlocked place
The shit gets thicker
It’s toxic
Get it out my face
And don’t be surprised
If they don’t buy your lies
Some of us can see through
Your stained glass eyes

Pot kettle, pot kettle black
Talk that, talk that smack
Pot kettle, pot kettle black
Watch your, watch your back

Pot kettle, pot kettle black
Talk that, talk that smack
Pot kettle, pot kettle black
Watch your, watch your back

Oh my god
Did you hear (yeah)
About that bitch
And what she did?
I don’t believe it
Aw, aw
What a ho
What a tramp
What a slut

(pause)

Pot kettle, pot kettle black
Talk that, talk that smack
Pot kettle, pot kettle black
Watch your, watch your back

Pot kettle, pot kettle black
Talk that, talk that smack
Pot kettle, pot kettle black
Watch your, watch your back

i'll feel better when the winter's gone......

2009-06-02T11:49:00.004+08:00

had you had one of those headaches that made you feel as though you were slowly dying or having one of the worst flu spread ever since 2003? well, i nearly thought i had it, but after sleeping it off , i feel loads better and i guess it was just because of a lack of sleep and water.

by the way, i'm extremely jealous of a certain couple. argh...they look so cute together. hope that they can make it to the end.

i think i should go and make some grocery shopping now, cause i'm running low on supplies. when ppl buy stuff in the grocery check out line, you can so totally tell their personalities from what they buy and how much they buy it.for example : man holding kids with wife not in sight buying bread, veggies, diapers , oil , milk , shaving cream , meat , soap, packet of rice. translation:frazzled father looking after kids and his new baby is driving him so much up the wall, that he has to buy shaving cream in large quatities so that he doesn't have to pop by every few times to the shop to get it and risk drving himself nuts cause he has to bring the kids.

me (usual fare): korean maggi mee and shavers, three in a pack.

translates basically: girl who cannot be trusted or trust herself to cook good food and instead gets the korean noodles cause she just can't be bothered cooking and could either be possibly suicidal cause of the razor blades or into shaving her legs.single neurotic girl who cannot be trusted to be living on her own but is doing so .

ha. ha. ha. why me, lord.

november was white , december was grey.....

a short story from neil gaiman....

2009-05-31T21:57:00.001+08:00

"Nicholas Was...

older than sin, and his beard could grow no whiter. He wanted to die.

The dwarfish natives of the Arctic caverns did not speak his language, but conversed in their own, twittering tongue, conducted incomprehensible rituals, when they were not actually working in the factories.

Once every year they forced him, sobbing and protesting, into Endless Night. During the journey he would stand near every child in the world, leave one of the dwarves' invisible gifts by its bedside. The children slept, frozen into time.

He envied Prometheus and Loki, Sisyphus and Judas. His punishment was harsher.

Ho.

Ho.

Ho. "

2009-05-31T09:52:00.002+08:00

i know, its rare to see me blog again after a day of blogging about hotel 626, but i was reading someone else's blog, and listening to nice blogging music ( So Like A Rose by Garbage.Yes, i listen to garbage. Insert pun jokes here.)

Garbage is surprisingly good for a band with tt title. i assumed that i had to find some time to write and plan complain letters ranting about changing their names.

So anyway, i forgot to mention this, but earlier two weeks ago, i've gained a new WeirdHater.What is that , you poor confused reader? Well, WeirdHaters are basically, as the name implies, ppl who hate the weird side of life and people who do so. according to a lot of ppl, i have a good chalking up of WeirdHaters. or WHs.I had a whole collection of those in secondary school, and now that i've arrived in MI ( like yeah, i know it was 2 years ago, cut me some slack here), i've finally gained a definitive name on one of them. for the sake of the protection of ppl, i've decided to use pseudonyms for the next few ppl i mention.

so it was two weeks ago, when foodielover, blurqueen and i were sitting at koufu eating a sensational dinner. so here we are , chewing on our curry chicken and what not ( i think some ppl some how guess who u are) when i suddenly get news tt this GirlRocker doesn't like me very much. Me, being the weird person that i am ( i live up to my name of weird. sue me) , was both hurt and not surprised by the news. how does this even happen? well, its me. i know i wasn't surprised tt badly cause i had , for the past few instances, beeen getting a lot of weird looks as well as a whole load of ignoring from GirlRocker. But i'm an open person, so i assumed tt she was a nice person underneath , which accounts for the hurt i felt.

after a few instances of being mortified, i spent the rest of the dinner being paranoid of the entire situation. foodielover had tried a few times to snap me out of it, but it didn't work, cause i messaged IceWhiteQueen who had to reassure me that GirlRocker did not hate me personally, just my behaviour.( apologies to icewhitequeen, i'll buy u an icecream to pay back for this name/insult)

dear reader, would it not surprise u that i am extremely mortified over the entire situation?i know i totally embody the whole " i dun give a fuck's care about it, so sue me" persona, but tt's not me!i'm more of the " i hope everyone likes me , so dun kill me" kinda persona. i hate weirdhaters, as many of you would know, cause they just have this very shallow view of the world, and view ppl in such a way it makes me extremely horrfied that i had once wanted to be liked by these ppl.

ARGH factor.so i guess this has become a selfhating post again, huh?well it isn't.

This is just a post to all those out there. You can't be liked by everyone.
keep the ones that love you close to you all the time cause u know they can catch you easily when u fall, but keep those whom hate you closer, u can plan for any attacks easily. bwahahhaah to me.

and by the way, thanks to the weirdhaters whom became my surprise supporters. i seriously thank you from the bottom of my heart tt you dun feel tt way anymore.

i suppose i have a lot to thank for.and so, i say, thank you for those whom support me , although i am insane and have a lot of faults, and am critically a person with really bad habits. i'll do my best to make sure i live up everyday, be of goodwill to my enemies, and be nice to ppl i dun mix with very well.be nice champa. these ppl are the ones tt made you. we're the ones that made you. eminem is great for times like this.

by the way, new love. i'm in love with ken hirai! dun ask why.he's an amazing singer.

HOTEL 626 ACHIEVEMENT.

2009-05-30T19:35:00.006+08:00

OMG.....
I PLAYED HOTEL 626 ALONE AND I'M ALIVE!!!!!!!!

YES !!!!!I EVEN FIGURED OUT THE NUMBERS THING AND SANG TO TT BLOODY KID!!!! I AM GOOD!!!!!!I BLOODY HELL SANG TO THE KID AND HOPEFULLY HE/SHE FOUND MY RENDITION OF TT LULLABY GOOD!!!!! BOOYEAH!!!!!!

although i have to say, i was terrifed when i started playing, i screamed when i heard voices outside and even when someone said hi to me( my mom's fren helping in the house). i'm an idiot, i know, but what the hey.

and boo yeah to me babay!!! haha, stupid of me to scream everytime tt woman screamed in my ear.

my photo is proudly sitting in the gallery of ppl who did stupid things like played hotel 626 during the dark.yay, i won, i won!!!

okay, let's cut the crap about the achievment shit. let's see, i managed to get through the week without killing anyone,i'm gonna get a new ezlink card on monday, i'm still alive after playing tt game ( you can see i'm actually very proud of tt achievment) and i'm gonna use tt experience to channel into fanfiction!!!yay to me!

lalalallagonnashowsomephotoslallalalalallalla

my first pic. i know, very bad pic but hey, i ain;t complaining.

my second pic. if you look closer to the eyes, the girl is actually terrified.

and champa, being the camwhore ( or whore, as my capitalist fren would so nicely put it), happily smiling for the camera. cause i'm tt good.

ah well
. get back to whereever you were doing. i'm gonna play pet society.

2009-05-17T18:57:00.002+08:00

L, my sister, you were right. This is delish.

in case you didn't see my new nick on my msn, it says, " having a love affair with ice cream" yeap, i am.....and it's oh-so-good milo flavoured McFlurry! To go all fan girl and say, " MAJOR LOVES!" is something i would only do in cases of ice cream, sweet stuff, and li syaoran and this is one of those cases where all three come in. My beloved 3V0R SteF3n( Yes , spelt that way) and i are having fun tapping away at Cardcaptor Sakura fanfic, downloading stuff, and listening to radio music in MacDonalds. Poor 3V0R, suffered for so long...but dun worry, i won't touch him for tomorrow, cause i know i have to go and study . A levels, ya know.

this song is catchy....

by the way, i'm thinking of starting my affair again with gossip girl...whaddya ppl think? i know i have a grudge against Dan, but i still love Chuck.....

oh yeah, by the way, i got a henna tattoo on my left hand! i'll post a pic now, but my cam is acting all weird, so i won't until i get a good pic.but then again, you'll see it on monday/tuesday/whatever day it is that i see you guys.

by the way, to those ppl who took my quiz on Facebook....i've got nth to say except......bwahahhahahahhhah!!!!! i win!!!! whoohoohoo!!!!

well, Joyce, i have to admit...not too shabby!!! the rest of you...haha, the questions were meant to kill!

oh yeah. i forgot to mention.

to you:

this is the first time I'm addressing this to you. So listen up.

I'm watching you.

that bubble doesn't last long.

better be careful before it bursts.

not mocking, but seriously. wake up.

message done! next.... you know something ? i think i was either a herald or a loudhailer in my past life...i mean, i just have this tendency to shout and scream my life out when i need to...i guess it relieves the stress.i love shouting...when i grow up, or when i'm having my hols, i plan to take a short holiday so that i can shout on top of a mountain and relieve my stress....hahahahha...its a good plan, i hope.

by the way, i'm planning my birthday....and i have this main idea about going to sentosa for my birthday, especially fort siloso...not cause of the beach...but because i wanted to go to fort siloso. u know, the historic significance of it and all.anybody in agreement? i'll entertain more ideas, but this is the one i have so far. meanwhile....TMNT gang + JY( i shall refer to you as master splinter!!!bwahahhahahahbewaretheonewhogivesthenicknameshahahahahahhahaha!!!!!), the plans to get to science center to see the da vinci exhibit is so on!!!!

by the way...would u guys agree if i said i wanted to use my money to get earrings?

i never really had earrings ,much, so it should be fine, right? i'll leave it up to you guys...before you make fun of me, the stuff's from forever 21....

oh yeah, by the way....MY WALLET IS MISSING!!!!!TOTAL A.R.G.H. factor.

2009-05-12T21:58:00.002+08:00

ever had that feeling when you head just hears this grinding sound again and again? that's what happened to me today .

note: i wrote haha just now in lieu of that paragraph, but i realised tt it was def no haha business, that brain just has this weird grinding sound again and again and again.

thank god i'm back home, otherwise i would have killed quite a number of people already.

has it occurred to ppl that i get along well with people who have similar psychological quirks like me? i think its a contagious effect. makes me kinda wanna sneeze.

anyway, the whole day i had that strange feeling , like the kind ppl have when they're seasick or carsick, having had a similar feeling the day before.

what do i need?

peace. a life. sleep. a brain that fully functions.

and i get, drama, noise, brain that short circuits every few minutes.

ah well, at least i still have a life.

too bad, its not the one i want.

argh, gonna be happy for a bit, otherwise my loyal fans out there would say i'm being whiny again.( i hear a high pitched voice going, " whiny forever!" dun make me poke you.)

i've learnt how to play mahjong, courtesy of a good fren of mine who makes wonderful spaghetti ( at least better than the ones i make). his sister, however, scares the hell out of me by screaming or laughing at me when i take the wrong tile or do something stupid. argh, its tough life...but i got the basics down. i think.

is tt all the good news i have? ah well . i'll ttyl, my dear reader, my gp essay awaits .

Things you see in a graveyard....

2009-05-05T22:58:00.003+08:00

yes, for once , i'm actually using the title line in my blog post. if i like it, i might stick with it, but if not then...bwahahhahaha

so anyway, why the gibberish on my last post, u ask? Answer: couldn't find anything that could properly show how i felt, so gibberish was something i had to go with. i know, presumptous, and maybe a tad emo, but hey, my blog, my rules.

2009-05-03T23:56:00.002+08:00

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2009-04-28T21:37:00.002+08:00

Charlie....charlie......

i love this video of charlie the unicorn ...watching the poor unicorn and his insane unicorn frens who ineveitably trick him into something was my main interest yesterday. kept laughing and singing his name.... my frens are being driven nuts by me singing and reenacting parts of the show, especially the part when he's on the bridge . somehow everyone found that creepy, but i happened to think that it was funny.

today was a bit scary. i was sent by my wise looking but in actual fact scary economics teacher to attend a motivational talk for econs, to help those who are not doing well, " but have the potential to do so", making us not part of the riff raff who a)are doing reasonably well in the subject or b) not worth the amount of advice given.

dun get me wrong. i was actually okay with being sent over with my other students, but when it takes too long that i have to rush to the bathroom soon after, i get jittery and get really excited to run out. why can't everyone give lectures like Mr Sameul Wong? needless to say, i was getting grumpy cause my bladder was full, nervous cause my bladder was full, and ready to run out to get to drama , which i was already delayed for by an hour , because i was getting impatient ( and my bladder was full).

you can get an excuse for anything if your bladder is full.

so anyway, drama was fun. for those of you who were in the room when i was shouting out commands and army berating, pls excuse me . the volume tune up today was due to me deciding that shouting was very good to vent my anger, and thanks to that , i actually feel better. if only they would allow that smash shack to open business in singapore, i guarantee a busy day for everyday.

okay, so being on the highest social ladder ( pre u 3) of the school, u tend to get irritated by some kids. and for some reason there's been a whole bunch of them getting on my nerves. i really want my peaceful school back, and one which does not mean crowding around my toilet. even trying to queue for food is scary. some of them are great kids, i have to admit, but the others just make me wanna pull a charlie on them and steal their kidneys, seeling them off the net and making money, enough for an ipod touch ( with fantastic memory) and my books. the new tamora pierce is out, but since its a hardcover, its also freaking expensive,and believe me , i've got a lot of things to pay for beisdes this. so, their kidneys must go. bwahahahhhaahhahahahahahhahahhaahahahhahaah. ah, its good to laugh.

its funny how prejudice can get you nowhere. just today, i found myself avoiding ppl that are usually my frens cause of one simple fact: i couldn't look at them in the eyes. funny part is, it happened before, but with other ppl,and they;re not my frens, so i seriously wonder the implications of my emotions this time.perhaps its an instinct telling me that all is not right with my feelings towards them, and i need a serious break from them, before i go insane and run around with a spork in my bag, screaming, " my scepter, my scepter!" . i dun really wanna end up like charlie, what with my insane frens making me do things and then in the end ripping me off. i dun want that, so i shouldn't think that way.

argh, post is getting all gloomy again, lets try it better.

Charlie....charlie!! chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga shoe shoe!!!!!!!

hey, its not my fault, i'm just insane

2009-04-22T22:41:00.002+08:00

well, the only reason why i'm here as of now is cause i took awhile into realizing that i have not done my laundry yet, and i have pe tomorrow, argh, never leave laundry to the last minute.

i;ve just reached home, greeted by the sense of a lonely , empty home, with no one around. let me tell you, living by myself is amazing. its a good thing i managed to get mom away from facebook, friendster and blogs, cause i swear i would kill myself if she knew too much about what's going on.

especially if she finds out about the laundry. teeheehee.

by the way, the last post was a bit of a cockup. needless to say, putting a cranky 18-on-the-brink-of-19 girl with sleep issues, plus a weird, dumbass poster on blog tagboards and paranoia, and you would kinda get what i was feeling that day. no need to kill him, folks, i have already considered that. and i conclude that its time i found some time to sleep instead of plotting revenge.

i'm looking for pockets of cold air nowadays. this hot weather is making me feel muggy and tired. and i hate muggy and tired. especially with this insane amount of pe everyone is making us do.....seriously...

2009-04-14T20:16:00.003+08:00

fuck this shit.

fuck.

guest was right.

i am but an empty vessel.i make noise all the time just to cover up the fact that i have nothing else to say. i make fun of people, i laugh at people, and i am so obsessed with what's going on that i have forgotten that i am actually a useless bum.

uselessuselessuseless.

use less.

i have no substance, no real conviction, no real self.i pretend to be smart, and laugh at others when they make mistakes, only to realise that perhaps its also one of my flaws.

do i listen to that? no.

do i do anything about it? no.

my brain's turning into mush and mush isn't what i want to have. no wonder all my frens can't stand me, that explains what happened in secondary school.

so they knew all this while that i was actually one of the most dumbest people ever to walk this earth.

well, i can't say anything else except

they were right.

i hate this. i hate myself.

2009-04-11T02:31:00.001+08:00

This ain't something to be proud of. but i think i have found something which may be interesting for all you girls out there:

The major histocompatibility complex (MHC) is a large genomic region or gene family found in most vertebrates. It is the most gene-dense region of the mammalian genome and plays an important role in the immune system, autoimmunity, and reproductive success. The proteins encoded by the MHC are expressed on the surface of cells in all jawed vertebrates, and display both self antigens (peptide fragments from the cell itself) and nonself antigens (e.g. fragments of invading microorganisms) to a type of white blood cell called a T cell that has the capacity to kill or co-ordinate the killing of pathogens and infected or malfunctioning cells.

MHC and sexual selection
It has been suggested that MHC plays a role in the selection of potential mates, via olfaction. MHC genes make molecules that enable the immune system to recognise invaders; generally, the more diverse the MHC genes of the parents, the stronger the immune system of the offspring. It would obviously be beneficial, therefore, to have evolved systems of recognizing individuals with different MHC genes and preferentially selecting them to breed with.

Yamazaki et al. (1976) showed this to be the case for male mice, who show such a preference for females of different MHC. Similar results have been obtained with fish.[4]

In 1995, Swiss biologist Claus Wedekind determined MHC-dissimilar mate selection tendencies in humans. In the experiment, a group of female college students smelled t-shirts that had been worn by male students for two nights, without deodorant, cologne or scented soaps. Overwhelmingly, the women preferred the odors of men with dissimilar MHCs to their own. However, their preference was reversed if they were taking oral contraceptives.[5] The hypothesis is that MHCs affect mate choice and that oral contraceptives can interfere with this. A study in 2005 on 58 test subjects confirmed the second part - taking oral contraceptives made women prefer men with MHCs similar to their own. [6]. However, without oral contraceptives, women had no particular preference, contradicting the earlier finding[7]. However, another study in 2002 showed results consistent with Wedekind's--paternally inherited HLA-associated odors influence odor preference and may serve as social cues.[8].

In 2008, Peter Donnelly and colleagues showed that MHC is related to mating choice in European Americans but not in Africans using HapMap II dataset

2009-04-06T22:01:00.002+08:00

MY 500TH POST!!!!!!!!WHOOHOOHOO!!!!!!

here's a funny story. i came back and switched on facebook , only to find an invitation from a girl called Tofu To to be my fren.

now, its not that i dunno tofu. i do. kinda. she's my bro's wife now. but to find out that she knows who i am is a bit weird. i mean, i never knew i existed in her world until now, weirdly, cause i'm an idiot, and usually the densest of the dense.

so anyway, i decide to accept and check out what the kid's like, i mean, she's married to my bro and i never knew that until today.

however, guess how old she is.

26! THE KID IS THE SAME AGE AS MS CHOO!

and even funnier.....MY BROTHER IS ACTUALLY 35! I NEVER KNEW TT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MY GOD, I'M WEIRD

2009-04-05T01:15:00.002+08:00

Yes, i redid my blogskin to my old one. cause for now, this is the one tt actually doesn't give me a headache. thank you. If you have any comments, ask my board.

2009-04-04T12:16:00.002+08:00

"I do not approve of anything that tampers with natural ignorance. Ignorance is like a delicate exotic fruit; touch it and the bloom is gone. The whole theory of modern education is radically unsound. Fortunately in England, at any rate, education produces no effect whatsoever. If it did, it would prove a serious danger to the upper classes, and probably lead to acts of violence in Grosvenor Square."
- Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest, Act 1

Oscar Wilde was a genius when he wrote The Importance of Being Earnest.i had such a great time when i watched tt play. chua enlai , hossan leong and that guy who played cecily and tt other one that played lady bracknell are most hilarious. the bickering over the muffins is darn funny. the shallowness of english society potrayed in his story is hilarious. so i'm gonna write in some quotes from the play.

Jack: I don't actually know who I am by birth. I was... well, I was found.
Lady Bracknell: Found?
Jack: Yes. The late Mr. Thomas Cardew, an old gentlemen of a kindly disposition found me and gave me the name of Worthing because he happened to have a first class ticket to Worthing at the time. Worthing is a place in Sussex. It's a seaside resort.
Lady Bracknell: And where did this charitable gentlemen with the first class ticket to the seaside resort find you?
Jack: In a handbag.
Lady Bracknell: [closes eyes briefly] A handbag?
Jack: Yes, Lady Bracknell, I was in a hand bag. A somewhat large... black... leather handbag with handles... to it.
[pause]
Lady Bracknell: An ordinary handbag.
Lady Bracknell: And where did this Mr. James... or, Thomas Cardew come across this ordinary handbag?
Jack: The cloak room at Victoria Station. It was given to him in mistake for his own...
Lady Bracknell: [Shocked] The cloak room at Victoria Station?
Jack: Yes. The Brighton line.
Lady Bracknell: The line is immaterial.
[begins tearing up notes]
Lady Bracknell: Mr. Worthing. I must confess that I feel somewhat bewildered by what you have just told me. To be born, or at any rate bred in a handbag, whether it have handles or not, seems to me to display a contempt for the ordinary decencies of family life which reminds one of the worst excesses of the French revolution, and I presume you know what that unfortunate movement led to?

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lady Bracknell: To lose one parent, Mr. Worthing, may be regarded as a misfortune. To lose both looks like carelessness.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Cecily: What a charming boy, I like his hair so much!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jack: Good heavens, I suppose a man may eat his own muffins in his own garden.
Algy: But you have just said it was perfectly heartless to eat muffins!
Jack: I said it was perfectly heartless of YOU under the circumstances. That is a very different thing.
Algy: That may be, but the muffins are the same!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Miss Prism: The good ended happily, and the bad unhappily. That is what fiction means.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Cecily, Gwendolyn: [speaking together] Your Christian names are still an insuperable barrier! That is all.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jack: How you can sit there eating muffins when we're in this terrible trouble, I can't make out! It seems to me to be perfectly heartless...
Algy: I can hardly eat muffins in an agitated manner. The butter would probably get on my cuffs

Algy: I don't seem to care about anything anymore... I only care for you. I love you Cecily. Will you marry me?
Cecily: Why, of course! We've been engaged for the past 3 months!
Algy: ...3 months?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jack: You don't think there's any chance of Gwendolyn becoming like her mother in about 150 years, do you Algy?
Algy: My dear fellow, all women become like their mothers, that's their tragedy. No man does, and that's his.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lady Bracknell: 35 is a very attractive age. London society is full of women of the very highest birth who have, of their own free choice, remained 35 for years.

2009-03-28T23:41:00.001+08:00

La Complainte De La Butte

La lune trop bl�me
Pose un diad�me
Sur tes cheveux roux
La lune trop rousse
De gloire �clabousse
Ton jupon plein trous
La lune trop p�le
Caresse l'opale
De tes yeux blas�s
Princesse de la rue
Soit la bienvenue
Dans mon coeur bless�
les escarliers de la butte
Sont durs aux mis�reux
Les ailes des moulins
Prot�gent les amoureux

Petite mandigotte
Je sens ta menotte
Qui cherche ma main
Je sens ta poitrine
Et ta taille fine
J'oublie mon chagrin
Je sens sur tes l�vres
Une odeur de fi�vre
De gosse mal nourrie
Et sous ta caresse
Je sens une ivresse
Qui m'an�antit
les escaliers de la butte
Sont durs aux mis�reux
Les ailes des moulins
Prot�gent les amoureux
Mais voil� qu'il flotte
La lune qu'il flotte
La princesse aussi
La la la la la La la la la la
Mon r�ve �vanoui
Les escaliers de la butte
Sont durs aux mis�reux
Les ailes des moulins
Prot�gent les amoureux

English Translation:
The moon all too fair
in your russet-red hair
sits a sparkling crown
The moon all too red
with glory, is spread
on your poor, tattered gown
The moon, all too white,
caresses the light in your world-weary eyes
Princess of the street,
do allow me to greet you,
my broken heart cries

Chorus:
The stairways up to la butte
Can make the wreched sigh
While windmill wings of the moulin
shelter you and I

I feel, beggar-girl,
your feathers, they curl
as they seek out my wrists
I feel your young breasts,
your thin little waist
I lose my regrets
I taste on your mouth the feverish breath of a half-starving waif
And with your caress
I sense drunkenness
erasing my life

Chorus:
The stairways up to la butte
Can make the wreched sigh
While windmill wings of the moulin
shelter you and I

And see how she skips,
the moon how she drifts,
The princess in tow
Da da da da da da da da da da
My reveries grow
The steps of Montmartre, all uphill, are hardest on the poor
The sails of the windmill, like wings, shelter all paramours

2009-03-19T23:01:00.002+08:00

strange much...i haven't been blogging so much lately.mayhaps its cause of my lack of inspiration from everything. Is it just me, or am i just drifting away from the ideals of humanity and just going off into my own world too much nowadays?

it hurts sometimes, but then it subsides , only to re emerge and become 10 times worse.

i need a break from this place, i need to know what's going on.

i want out, want out. want outwantoutwantout.

Just go away.

2009-03-14T23:19:00.001+08:00

The Times They Are A-Changin'

Come gather 'round people
Wherever you roam
And admit that the waters
Around you have grown
And accept it that soon
You'll be drenched to the bone.
If your time to you
Is worth savin'
Then you better start swimmin'
Or you'll sink like a stone
For the times they are a-changin'.

Come writers and critics
Who prophesize with your pen
And keep your eyes wide
The chance won't come again
And don't speak too soon
For the wheel's still in spin
And there's no tellin' who
That it's namin'.
For the loser now
Will be later to win
For the times they are a-changin'.

Come senators, congressmen
Please heed the call
Don't stand in the doorway
Don't block up the hall
For he that gets hurt
Will be he who has stalled
There's a battle outside
And it is ragin'.
It'll soon shake your windows
And rattle your walls
For the times they are a-changin'.

Come mothers and fathers
Throughout the land
And don't criticize
What you can't understand
Your sons and your daughters
Are beyond your command
Your old road is
Rapidly agin'.
Please get out of the new one
If you can't lend your hand
For the times they are a-changin'.

The line it is drawn
The curse it is cast
The slow one now
Will later be fast
As the present now
Will later be past
The order is
Rapidly fadin'.
And the first one now
Will later be last
For the times they are a-changin'.

2009-03-10T22:09:00.002+08:00

somehow, i just feel oh so tired and very weary. i also just realised that i hate getting photographed cause i just wanna wash out every trace of my existence. and the fact that i just dun take good photos. blame my ugly genes.

2009-03-08T19:53:00.002+08:00

I LOVE THE WATCHMEN.

that said, i have now decided that my love of the watchmen has begun, and i am so gonna go insane when the dvd comes out. why on earth do my frens not like the movie was beyond me.

lords upon all lords, i have now developed an obsession over the characters of Roschach and Nite Owl, especially Roschach. his view on the world at large was interesting, and it just shows that the superhero term is something that will disintergrate in real life, and just render the one trying to be it insane...

before i bore u any longer on my love for the movie, here are some quotes:

Rorschach:

Rorschach's journal, October 12th 1985. Dog carcass in alley this morning, tire tread on burst stomach. This city's afraid of me. I've seen its true face. The streets are extended gutters and the gutters are full of blood. And when the drains finally scab over, all the vermin will drown. The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout "Save us!"... and I'll look down and whisper "No."

[discovering that Edward Blake was The Comedian.] Tonight, a comedian died in New York. Somebody knows why. Somebody knows.

Rorschach's journal, October 13th 1985. 8:30pm. Meeting with Dreiberg left bad taste in mouth; a flabby failure who sits whimpering in his basement. Why are so few of us left active, healthy, and without personality disorders?

Ozymandias:

What do you take me for, a comic book supervillain? Do you seriously believe I would explain my masterstroke if there were the slightest chance of you affecting its outcome? I triggered it thirty-five minutes ago.

The Comedian: Goddamn, I love working on American soil, Dan. Ain't had this much fun since Woodward and Bernstein.
Nite Owl II: How long can we keep this up?
The Comedian: Congress is pushing through some new bill that's gonna outlaw masks. Our days are numbered. Till then, it's like you always say: we're society's only protection.
Nite Owl II: From what?
The Comedian: You kidding me? From themselves.

2009-03-04T22:05:00.001+08:00

STOP

THE

WORLD.

i wanna get off.....

2009-03-02T19:34:00.002+08:00

dear diary,

can u blame me for wanting to write a normal diary entry? i'm getting afraid tt i will end up very disillusioned and becoming one of the crazies on the street, the ones tt u see, but dun wanna see.( irony: me , of all people, with the number one fear of losing all control of my mind and sanity. I can almost see the sharpness of the irony.)

so anyway, diary. today was very disappointing. the people around me just had disappointing days. i have this strange feeling tt this will just contribute to those days which will just tear me apart. there was just no convincing that today was one of those days which will lead me to cling on to life.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

( continued next day)

well diary, there it was again.today felt even worse than yesterday, and somehow , it was my fault.

i'm not gonna go into details about my own views here. too many people.

so anyway, due to my depressed nature, i had a talk with someone who i would not have expected to have this talk on suicide with. but she did, and somehow, she revealed to me that some of her frens have had dabbled in such due to problems, and even her had to see a shrink for awhile.

somehow tt sorta shocked me, cause she had similar problems, and the fact that she just seemed so cheerful about it.the problems were most probably behind her, but it was just so shocking...

i did ask her why was she like that, but diary, true to form, i have forgotten, absorbed as i was in my own despair.

its strange,diary, that sometimes a person can get so self absorbed that she sees nothing around her except for what she thinks she sees. its so self absorbing that one just simply creates or invents what she thinks others are doing, thus making herself even more absorbed into her own world where she " sees". when one finally steps out, however, the scene is so much more different.and she wonders just how is it that she wouldn't- couldn't , more like, see this.

truth is, most people just can't see beyond their own backyard or beyond their own scope.

anyway, it was just one of the most weirdest things i have come to think about at a time like this. for some reason , my latest musings into the mortality of life have just increased to one per hour. usually its three or four per day.

diary, is it so wrong to think about the idea of suicide?

people seem to think that the topic is such a morbid one that usually i dun dare bring it in. but somehow, today i just can't stop thinking about the idea. i blame that ntu suicide guy, he got me started on this topic. or maybe he just opened up my scope on the idea.

the point is, will the person who committed suicide understand just what the meaning of life is in that few seconds that he cuts away his life, knowledge which usually takes years and ages for one who lives life naturally to find out? i believe so. it will come rushing in at the last few minutes and perhaps he will die peacefully.....

argh! frick!

diary, somehow, i dun think i could ever keep up the writing of a normal diary entry for long....

- ME

2009-02-28T23:29:00.003+08:00

oh boy

in the past few days , i know i haven't been truly blogging about my feelings, wait, i haven't been blogging much, have i? its weird, now i just seem so unmotivated to blog. perhaps its the stress getting to me, i dunno.

anyhoo, this post is just a reminder to people tt yes, i am still alive, so please post on my tagboard so tt i know u people are there! i know, absolute narcissism here, but who cares, its my blog! i am a narcissitic one!!hurray for me! hurray for me!

oh yeah, and its somewhat dedicated to Miss Chan Wan Yi, who has been complaining tt my blog posts are very depressing and very untrue. in fact, the whole convo about her scolding me is funny:

She: ( in all maroon glory) CHAMPAaaaa
me: ( the clueless) huh?
She: i don't like your most recent blog entry:(
me: eh?
she:your blog entry. the recent one. and i disagree with no 4.Cuz you DO have frens....like meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!

i ask again. why , do i have weird frens

so anyway, now to placate her, i'm doing a blog just relating to normal stuff today. ( if i went and said happy stuff, she'll know its not true and tt i was being sacarstic.)

so i watched sleepless town today and my bloody valentine in 3d yesterday.mistake number one was watching my bloody valentine , it was very gory and had loads of boday parts sticking out in ways which i do not fancy, so i did not enjoy it as much as i should have.the second mistake was watching it in 3d. why was i so foolish, i do not know. but send me a note if you do . haha.

wow. being normal is kinda hard.

ah well. new experience to everything.

i'm planning to if possible try out interesting new things.i'm gonna try to buy a chinese book tomorrow ( i know at this point those who know me are sniggering behind my back, but the fact is, i can only read chinese if i can view it in a comic book format or if its about anime characters.i know, i rock in a very weird but very creative way.

i've been very sleepy the past few days, sleeping at maybe 11 and then waking at close to 11 on weekends. suffice to say, i think this is the time tt i can be in an advert for insomnia...like buy this product and u can sleep for 10-12 hours, like me!
hm...when i put it tt way, sounds too peppy.

anyway, my thoughts...somehow its hard to put a lid on my thoughts. they just sorta bubble over and drag everyone else in my trail.like today i thought it would be fun to be a villainess, especially one who wears fishnets stockings and boots and struts about goth style. if i had the figure for it, i would. but since not, i'll just look rather plain ....why do i not look good goth? i could be so good doing goth.

then, i later realise i would be too happy being goth. its like, sometimes i'm too happy being one thing , and too sad being another.

so what am i?

when i find out, i will update here, so watch this space!

2009-02-18T21:51:00.002+08:00

Ten things i hate about you:

10. the fact tt you can't keep your affairs in order. i mean, you're an adult now, and u can't even pack your own shit in your bag and in your house? i mean, just fuck tt shit man.

9. the way you just can get the guts to cut yourself when u really want to. i mean, you feel bad, but u dun wanna hurt? tt's just absolute bullshit.

8. the fact that you can laugh at other people for being an idiot, being deep down u know tt u do tt shit all the time too. why can't u just own up on your own problems and just laugh at others?

7. the fact tt you can read so much, and yet understand so little about what happens.

6. the fact tt you increasing are unable to understand people when you talk to them. for tt matter , you can't think when they;re talking either. what's you brain made of, wool? wake up your ideas!

5. the fact tt when you go home, you spend more time with your computer than with your schoolwork.

4. you dun actually have frens.

3. you just have a whole bunch of enemies.

2. people who have faith in you are the ones most disappointed.

1. the fact tt despite the fact tt i hate you, i can't get away from you. cause no matter how i see it, you're me. and i'm mad at myself cause i'm just so angry with me.

2009-02-03T22:53:00.002+08:00

Put your iTunes/Napster/Zune Player/WinAmp/etc on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
4. Tag 10 or more friends

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
She Moves In Mysterious Ways - U2 ( Shows off that awe inspiring vagueness in me...halleljah)

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Australian Beer Drinking Song- Monty Python ( I like guys that can come up with weird drinking songs while drinking? wow)

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
A Place In This World - Taylor Swift ( Too uncanny)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Psychotic Girl -The Black Keys ( No comment, cause it is too freaky)

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Hollywood (Live - Rock In Rio - 3)- Silverchair (Yes, my life is like Hollywood.....bite me.)

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Popeye the Sailor Man Theme song

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
Bouncy Bouncy Smack Smack- Don and Drew (THIS IS JUST WRONG)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
I'm Like A Lawyer With The Way I'm Always Trying To Get You Off (Me & You) - Fall Out Boy ( Somehow....ermm)

WHAT IS 2+2?
Pure Massacre - Silverchair ( GET OFF MY PROPERTY, MATHEMATICS!)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Rainy Monday- Shiny Toy Guns

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Blue- Suara

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Honey , Honey - ABBA

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Prince Harry- Sohodolls (ALL HAIL ME, PRINCESS HA- Thuc Champa....Wah liao...so drama until tt part)

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Jailhouse Rock - Elvis Presley

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
There's No Business Like Show Business- Soundtrack from Annie Get Your Gun ( This just really makes me wonder what my mom thinks of me.)

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
l'antilope- Carla Bruni

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Bella's Lullaby Remix

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Zydrate Anatomy- Repo! The Genetic Opera ( TOO uncanny)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
I Don't Care [Machine Shop Remix]- Fall Out Boy

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Interlude 2 - Kamelot

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Fragile - God Is An Astronaut

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
The Real G- Hoodwinked Soundtrack

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Mr Brightside- Vitamin String Quartet

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
The One That Got Away - Pink

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
I'm Not Okay - Vitamin String Quartet

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
Je t'aime Encore- Natasha St. Pier (I love you twice? what the hell?)

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
Ningen wa Jibunjishin ga Mienai Yue ni, Tanin ni Risou no 'Sugata' o Mitome Yasui.

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Do Me Good - Amy Winehouse

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
White Horse- Taylor Swift ( if the white horse was named taylor and gave me a swift kick in the ass.....)

2009-01-30T23:51:00.002+08:00

The Raven
[First published in 1845]

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
`'Tis some visitor,' I muttered, `tapping at my chamber door -
Only this, and nothing more.'

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December,
And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow; - vainly I had sought to borrow
From my books surcease of sorrow - sorrow for the lost Lenore -
For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels named Lenore -
Nameless here for evermore.

And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain
Thrilled me - filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating
`'Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door -
Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door; -
This it is, and nothing more,'

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
`Sir,' said I, `or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you' - here I opened wide the door; -
Darkness there, and nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before
But the silence was unbroken, and the darkness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, `Lenore!'
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, `Lenore!'
Merely this and nothing more.

Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
`Surely,' said I, `surely that is something at my window lattice;
Let me see then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore -
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore; -
'Tis the wind and nothing more!'

Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,
In there stepped a stately raven of the saintly days of yore.
Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;
But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door -
Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door -
Perched, and sat, and nothing more.

Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,
`Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou,' I said, `art sure no craven.
Ghastly grim and ancient raven wandering from the nightly shore -
Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly,
Though its answer little meaning - little relevancy bore;
For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being
Ever yet was blessed with seeing bird above his chamber door -
Bird or beast above the sculptured bust above his chamber door,
With such name as `Nevermore.'

But the raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only,
That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.
Nothing further then he uttered - not a feather then he fluttered -
Till I scarcely more than muttered `Other friends have flown before -
On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before.'
Then the bird said, `Nevermore.'

Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
`Doubtless,' said I, `what it utters is its only stock and store,
Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful disaster
Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore -
Till the dirges of his hope that melancholy burden bore
Of "Never-nevermore."'

But the raven still beguiling all my sad soul into smiling,
Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird and bust and door;
Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking
Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore -
What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt, and ominous bird of yore
Meant in croaking `Nevermore.'

This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom's core;
This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining
On the cushion's velvet lining that the lamp-light gloated o'er,
But whose velvet violet lining with the lamp-light gloating o'er,
She shall press, ah, nevermore!

Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer
Swung by Seraphim whose foot-falls tinkled on the tufted floor.
`Wretch,' I cried, `thy God hath lent thee - by these angels he has sent thee
Respite - respite and nepenthe from thy memories of Lenore!
Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe, and forget this lost Lenore!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

`Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil! -
Whether tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,
Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted -
On this home by horror haunted - tell me truly, I implore -
Is there - is there balm in Gilead? - tell me - tell me, I implore!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

`Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil!
By that Heaven that bends above us - by that God we both adore -
Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,
It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels named Lenore -
Clasp a rare and radiant maiden, whom the angels named Lenore?'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

`Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!' I shrieked upstarting -
`Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore!
Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my loneliness unbroken! - quit the bust above my door!
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

And the raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;
And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming,
And the lamp-light o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;
And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
Shall be lifted - nevermore!

-Edgar Allan Poe

Edwin Arlington Robinson. 1869–

45. Richard Corey

WHENEVER Richard Cory went down town,
We people on the pavement looked at him:
He was a gentleman from sole to crown,
Clean favored, and imperially slim.

And he was always quietly arrayed,
And he was always human when he talked;
But still he fluttered pulses when he said,
"Good-morning," and he glittered when he walked.

And he was rich—yes, richer than a king,
And admirably schooled in every grace:
In fine, we thought that he was everything
To make us wish that we were in his place.

So on we worked, and waited for the light,
And went without the meat, and cursed the bread;
And Richard Cory, one calm summer night,
Went home and put a bullet through his head.

A blade of grass

You ask for a poem.
I offer you a blade of grass.
You say it is not good enough.
You ask for a poem.

I say this blade of grass will do.
It has dressed itself in frost,
It is more immediate
Than any image of my making.

You say it is not a poem,
It is a blade of grass and grass
Is not quite good enough.
I offer you a blade of grass.

You are indignant.
You say it is too easy to offer grass.
It is absurd.
Anyone can offer a blade of grass.

You ask for a poem.
And so I write you a tragedy about
How a blade of grass
Becomes more and more difficult to offer,

And about how as you grow older
A blade of grass
Becomes more difficult to accept.

-- Brian Patten

Death

He's dead
the dog won't have to
sleep on his potatoes
any more to keep them
from freezing

he's dead
the old bastard -
he's a bastard because

there's nothing
legitimate in him any
more
he's dead
he's sick-dead

he's
a godforsaken curio
without
any breath in it

he's nothing at all
he's dead
shrunken up to skin

Put his head on
one chair and his
feet on another and
he'll lie there
like an acrobat -

Love's beaten. He
beat it. That's why
he's insufferable -

because
he's here needing a
shave and making love
an inside howl
of anguish and defeat -

he's come out of the man
and he's let
the man go -
the liar

Dead
his eyes
rolled up out of
the light - a mockery

which
love cannot touch -

just bury it
and hide its face
for shame.

-- William Carlos Williams

At this point in time, u can sorta tell what kinda state i'm in.

2009-01-28T21:58:00.002+08:00

" Happy People Don't Keep Diaries."

- Adrian Mole, Adrian Mole and the Weapons Of Mass Destruction

hm, not that i'm depressed or anything, but do u realise that some people ignore their blogs for days when they're happy?

i guess it's cause they're too busy to blog.

i;m getting oddly jaded and cynical nowadays.

___________________________________________________________________________________

What? They never said that I was wrong.

2009-01-19T22:54:00.000+08:00

now when she does it like this, would u do it like that?

2009-01-14T22:32:00.001+08:00

this is funny!

La la la la la la la la
la la la la la la la la (2x)

Oh baby baby have you seen Amy tonight?
Is she in the bathroom? Is she smokin up outside? Ouuh
Oh baby baby does she take a piece of lime
For the drink that I’ma buy her
Do you know just what she likes so?
Oh oh tell me have you seen her
Cuz I’m so-oh oh
I can’t get her out of my brain
I just wanna go to the party she gon’ go
Can somebody take me home?
Ha ha he he ha ha ho

Love me, hate me
Say what you want about me
But all of the boys and all of the girls are begging to If U Seek Amy
Love me, hate me
But can’t you see what I see?
All of the boys and all of the girls are begging to If U Seek Amy
Love me, hate me
Britney Spears lyrics on www.lyrics-celebrities.anekatips.com

La la la la la la la la
la la la la la la la la (2x)

Amy told me that's shes gonna meet me up
I don’t know where or when and now their closing up the club Ouuuh
I’ve seen her once or twice before she knows my face
But its hard to see with all the people standing in the way ouuuh

Oh oh
Tell me have you seen her cause I’m so oh
I can’t get her off of my brain
I just wanna go to the party she gon’ go
Can't somebody take me home
Ha ha he he ha ha ho

Love me, hate me
Say what you want about me
But all of the boys and all of the girls are begging to If U Seek Amy
Love me, hate me
But can’t you see what I see?
All of the boys and all of the girls are begging to If You Seek Amy
Love me, hate me
Say what you want about me
Oh but can’t you see what I see
Yeaaah say what you want about me (about me, about me)

So tell me if you see her
(if you knew what she was wearing and what she was like)
Cause I’ve been waiting here forever
(if you knew if she was going out of line)
Oh baby baby if u seek Amy tonight
Oh baby baby we’ll do whatever you like
Oh baby baby baby
Oh baby baby baby

La la la la la la la la
la la la la la la la la (2x)

Love me, hate me
Say what you want about me
But all of the boys and all of the girls are begging to If U Seek Amy
Love me, hate me
But can’t you see what I see?
All of the boys and all of the girls are begging to If U Seek Amy

Love me, hate me
Say what you want about me yeaah
Love me, hate me
But can’t you see what I see
All of the boys and all of the girls are begging to If You Seek Amy
Love me, hate me
Say what you want about me
Oh but can’t you see what I see
Say what you want about me
But all of the boys and all of the girls are begging to If U Seek Amy

( try saying the title very quickly, then you'll get the pun)

2009-01-12T19:06:00.002+08:00

"I'm supposed to be the soldier who never blows his composure
Even though I hold the weight of the whole world on my shoulders
I am never supposed to show it, my crew ain't supposed to know it
Even if it means goin' toe to toe with a Benzino it don't matter
I'd never drag them in battles that I can't handle unless I absolutely have to
I'm supposed to set an example
I need to be the leader, my crew looks for me to guide 'em
If some shit ever just pop off, I'm supposed to be beside 'em
Now the Ja shit i tried to squash it, it was too late to stop it
There's a certain line you just don't cross and he crossed it
I heard him say Hailie's name on a song and I just lost it
It was crazy, this shit way beyond some Jay-z and Nas shit
And even though the battle was won, I feel like we lost it
I spent too much energy on it, honestly I'm exhausted
And I'm so caught in it I almost feel I'm the one who caused it
This ain't what I'm in hip-hop for, it's not why I got in it
That was never my object for someone to get killed
Why would I wanna destroy something I helped build
It wasn't my intentions, my intentions was good
I went through my whole career without ever mentionin' ...
Now it's just out of respect for not runnin' my mouth
And talkin' about something that I knew nothing about
Plus Dre told me stay out, this just wasn't my beef
So I did, I just fell back, watched and gritted my teeth
While he's all over t.v. down talkin' a man who literally saved my life
Like fuck it i understand this is business
And this shit just isn't none of my business
But still knowin' this shit could pop off at any minute cuz

Step by step, heart to heart, left right left
We all fall down like toy soldiers
Bit by bit, torn apart, we never win
But the battle wages on for toy soldiers "

-Like Toy Solders, Eminem.

i'm so sorry for these really really sad posts.i promised wan yi, ( if she's reading this, i'm so sorry, i'll make it cheerier next time, i promise!)tt i would make it happier, but still its not really working.

anyway, for the past few days, i just felt like this, some shit has made me over think things when i see them, and its been making my attitude worse towards certain issues, such as the people around me. all i can say is, the people around me give me a headache, even if i love them so . this song is the only one tt comes closest tp what i feel, so i'm gonna use it to describe my situation.

all i can say is : fuck . i hate people who make things feel bad for others, make me feel bad or say tt i'm actually like this,when in reality i'm like tt.

ah well, gonna cleanse my aura.

2009-01-11T09:23:00.002+08:00

i think it was the fault of the strawberry milk....stupid weirdo dreams. i just have this temptation to just go back to sleep and nuzzle my pillow while making purring noises just like a cat. but its the last day, and from now on, its training to wake up when the electric guitar rolls around and screams in my ear.

so i'm up early for a reason.

and i'm worried.

snoozel snoozel snoozel glip!

2009-01-10T22:18:00.003+08:00

argh, my head is absoluately hurting. and i can;t wait for school to start....

just a very weird observation from the last few days, turns out i'm an absolute bitch when i get all hormonal and tt time of the month comes. for the past few days, when problems have arised, usually i would react," oh crap, more shit has come, what else have you got in store for me lord?" has been replaced with " OH GIVE THE GODDAMN ( CENSORED) A (CENSORED) AND I DON'T FREAKING CARE ! ( CENSORED)!"

yes, the terror has arrived, and she also packs a punch too.

seriously, what is the whole thing about courtesy for other people? i've been wondering about this for the past few days. so here goes my questions.

we've been taught from young that honesty is the best policy when it comes to dealing with most things. so we do tt, cause we know its the RIGHT thing to do. which is understandable, cause when we were young, the smallest things do matter to us, and we were more or less exposed to smaller "disasters" or experiences that do not question the pros of honesty.

How is it then, when we get older , that we can't be honest with others on how we feel about certain situations, and then keep it to themselves until one day when they break down in the middle of pe and start crying so badly tt no one's been able to do anything about it.....

okay, maybe's the situation has happened before.

but back to where i was.

why are we so afraid to show our feelings and just admit the truth tt was just in front of our faces for so long? why do we just stick it in ourselves for so long until be just can't take it anymore? we know its bad for ourselves, and yet, we do it, out of fear that our friends would not accept us for our actions and our choices
, or maybe out of fear that we would dislike what we have become?

shit, i'm doing the whole," being extremely vague about my problems and my viewpoints ti the point tt no one gets what i;m trying to say" schtick. argh. i'm not good with words, nor am i good with speech.

shit, then what am i good at?

i need a break from my love hate relationships.....

tt just didnt make sense either.

i guess what i'm trying to say is....i wish i could feel happier about myself.

for the past few days, i've been wondering about weird stuff. like overthinking comments by frens and and criticism. i've been denying ppl talking access with me and even those who do are not getting much from me.

i'm going into shut down mode until crisis is over and i actually dun think so much.

2009-01-09T23:08:00.000+08:00

ANDREA SARALINA BTE SAADA E
ANG WEI JIA ISABELLA A
CHAN LI WEN E
CHEW WEI WEN MELVIN A
CHUA WEIXUAN E
HA THUC CHAMPA A
HOW XIN HENG BERNADETTE A
JONATHAN LIM ZHAN RUI B
KULVINDER KAUR D/O KULDIP A
LIM MELINDA C
MUHAMMAD ZAINUDDIN B ZAHI C
NUR ASSYIKIN BTE MOHAMAD A
NUR DIYANAH BTE MOHD AZMI A
NURANATI BTE RAZALI A
PAMELJIT KAUR A
RENUKA D/O BALASUBRAMANIU A
SHAUN MATTHEW NIYO-RAMDAS A
SITI AISHAH BTE KASMAN B
SOLANO CHRISTINE TAN A
SZE KAR YIN NICOLE A
TAN CHEE HAN ALBERT D
TAN JACK LONG A
TAN KAI YI CHERYL A
TAN SIXUAN C
TENG YILIN ELAYNE B
TEO YING YING ANITA A
VALERIE MELISSA ANTHONY B
WONG LIANG WEI GERAN A
YIP XIN YI A

2009-01-08T23:27:00.002+08:00

Strange.

ppl around me are having problems with their parents, and admittedly , my relationship with my mom is not red hot either today. argh. i'll leave the ranting to them though, cause if i start to go along, the people here will ger BORED! yes! A lousy presenter is actually spelt, to all you really bad spellers out there, B-O-R-I-N-G!

sorry, i was trying out ths writing style of someone's fanfic.

so.......
to all u sad ppl out there who are more than a bit peeved out there due to parents, relationships, the electricity bill or just being unable to pass motion....

'lava lava duck!"

2009-01-06T09:14:00.003+08:00

i just woke up , but never had i felt more at lonesome with myself.

sorta like tt time my brother started dating the girl opposite our house in hk. suddenly, he didn't have any time for me , and i lost my good friend who would act like a dumbass for me.

it's the same now. but different situations.....fuck it.

no matter how in i seem, i'm always somewhat on the outer ring of things...

some friend.

quote from Kar yee's blog, which i've found meaningful....

"The stone may break, crack against the onslaught of unknown agents or feel the need to part. Conversely it could choose to stay together, for a lifetime in happiness. And I may never know. But my place is not here. I have to keep faith, for that is all there is that is left. Like Pandora's box, when the worst had had its evil ways there was hope, quiet and waiting. A li'something to fill that empty void.

As the Thais hope for better days forthcoming the disruption of their tourism industry and politics. As Nigerians hope for better days in their country's political crisis. I hope along with them for the fulfilment that I have never known. I will believe, for that is really all I can do."

2009-01-04T12:05:00.002+08:00

Thanks Bern, for all the music you've been sending me! I've been listening to it and it's helping me in a very weird way!

I was talking to bern yesterday cause she wanted me to hear " threnody to the victims of hiroshima" and asking me if it scares me too. to be frank, it does. The first few seconds sound like nails on a chalkboard in a rather creepy but weirdly good kinda way. which is kinda cool, cause i'm planning to scare melvin with this.....bwahahhahahahah. and when she heard tt i have a perchant for string music like violin, she's been sending me her favorites, as well as a chopin piano piece. next to violin, the piano's my fave instrumental kinda piece to play scores on. but since i can't i've been making do with these instrumental pieces to listen to to think and concentrate.

cartman's an ass,and the little kids in south park are so darn cute, they way they all shouted " YAY!" when they heard tt wendy was fighting cartman after school. ( sorry, maybe i can do the concentration thing slowly).

i'm trying for peace this year, without so much hyperness...

"RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH!"

damnit, south park's ruining me.

2009-01-03T10:41:00.003+08:00

THE RULES!
bold the statements that are true to you
italise the statements that you WISH are true
leave the fibs alone
then, stab 5 guys to do the same test

I miss somebody right now.
I don’t watch TV these days.
I own lots of books. ( Both school, normal books and comic books! )
I wear glasses or contact lenses.
I love to play video games.
I’ve tried marijuana.
I have been in a threesome.
I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
I curse sometimes. ( Sometimes?! i do that all the time man! God Darn it!)
I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.
I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
I’m TOTALLY smart.
I’ve broken someone’s bones.
I’m paranoid sometimes. ( in actual fact, i'm paranoid all the time. But it doesn't matter in this case)
I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
I need money right now.
I love sushi.
I talk really, really fast. (There's no need for trying. If you knew me , u'ld agree )
I have long hair.
I have lost money in Las Vegas.
I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.
I couldn’t survive without Caller I.D
I like the way I look.
I am usually pessimistic.
I have a lot of mood swings.
I have a hidden talent.
I’m always hyper no matter how much sugar i have.
I have a lot of friends.
I am currently single.
I have pecked someone of the same sex.
I enjoy talking on the phone.
I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
I love to shop.
I enjoy window shopping.
I would rather shop than eat.
I don’t hate anyone. I dislike them.
I’m a pretty good dancer.
I’m completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
I have a cell phone. ( which is what i use so tt my mom can contact me without making me embarrassed)
I believe in God.
I watch MTV on a daily basis.
I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
I’ve rejected someone before.
I have no idea what i want to do for the rest of my life.
I want to have children in the future.
I have changed a diaper before.
I’ve called the cops on a friend before.
I’m not allergic to anything.
I have a lot to learn.
I have been with someone at least 10 years older or younger
I am shy around the opposite sex.
I have tried alcohol before.
I have made a move on a friend’s significant other or crush in the past.
I own the “South Park” movie.
I would die for my best friends.
I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza.
I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.
I watch Spongebob Squarepants and i like it.
I have dated a close friends’s ex.
I am happy at this moment!!
I’m obsessed with guys
I study for tests most of the time.
I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I’ve ever met.
I can work on a car.
I love my job.
I am comfortable with who I am right now.
I have more than just my ears pierced.
I walk barefoot wherever i can.
I have jumped off a bridge.
I love sea turtles.
I spend ridiculous money on makeup.
I plan on achieving a major goal/dream.
I’m proficient in a musical instrument.
I worked at McDonald’s restaurant.
I hate office jobs.
I love sci-fi movies.
I think water rules.
I went college out of state.
I like sausages.
I love kisses.
I fall for the worst people.
I adore bright colours.
I can’t live without black eyeliner.
I don’t know why the hell i just did this stupid thing.
I usually like covers better than originals.
I can pick up things with my toes.
I can whistle.
I can move my tongue in waves, much like a snakes slither.
I have ridden/owned a horse.
I still have every journal I’ve ever written in
I can’t stick to a diet.
I talk in my sleep.
I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions.
Climbing trees is a brilliant past-time
I have jazz in my blood.
I wear a toe ring.
I have a tattoo.
I can’t stand at LEAST one person that i work with. ( actually, i can't stand everyone. But tt's another story.)
I am a caffeine junkie.
I know what cosplaying is.
I have been to over 15 conventions.
I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical, the better.
I’m an artist.
I only clean my room when necessary.
I like a person of the same sex.
I love being happy.
I am an adrenaline junkie.( i'm only half bolding this cause its both the truth and a lie. i do feel and love the rush , but not on a rollercoaster. on other things, such as acting and performing. and sometimes running.)

I'm not gonna tag anyone in this case. Somehow, it's getting really boring now.tagging.

i think its best i get away from people now. i'm getting into the old lady crabby stage.

perhaps early menopause is here.

i kinda like tt.

great, my first post of the year and its on meopause.

2008-12-29T23:23:00.002+08:00

*)(RhiannonMerlin)(* says:
diaos

*)(RhiannonMerlin)(* says:
nt bad ah

*)(RhiannonMerlin)(* says:
the guy scold u

*)(RhiannonMerlin)(* says:
can cook the korean noodles already

*)(RhiannonMerlin)(* says:
listen to one song

*)(RhiannonMerlin)(* says:
act like you're the king of the jungle

*)(RhiannonMerlin)(* says:
and pretend to be santa claus.....

*)(RhiannonMerlin)(* says:
but what did he scold u for?

№ 9- keep things simple luh, fiona! whoa lao fiona=STILL perservering! says:
LOL haha really?

№ 9- keep things simple luh, fiona! whoa lao fiona=STILL perservering! says:
whoa

№ 9- keep things simple luh, fiona! whoa lao fiona=STILL perservering! says:
cos no stock lor

*)(RhiannonMerlin)(* says:
hm...

*)(RhiannonMerlin)(* says:
tt's in my view lah

*)(RhiannonMerlin)(* says:
and why scold u for lack of stock?

*)(RhiannonMerlin)(* says:
what was he looking for?

№ 9- through despair and hope, through faith and love. fiona=STILL perservering! says:
LOL yeah

№ 9- through despair and hope, through faith and love. fiona=STILL perservering! says:
UWC XL pe shorts.

№ 9- through despair and hope, through faith and love. fiona=STILL perservering! says:
2 pairs.

*)(RhiannonMerlin)(* says:
diaos......

*)(RhiannonMerlin)(* says:
united world college.....

*)(RhiannonMerlin)(* says:
the champions of the first arena......

*)(RhiannonMerlin)(* says:
explain to him the fact tt its the fault of technology....

*)(RhiannonMerlin)(* says:
come let champa mei mei explain to u....

*)(RhiannonMerlin)(* says:
u see...

*)(RhiannonMerlin)(* says:
in the world nowadays....

№ 9- through despair and hope, through faith and love. fiona=STILL perservering! says:
yeah lor.. HAHAHA thanks ah.

№ 9- through despair and hope, through faith and love. fiona=STILL perservering! says:
DIAO

№ 9- through despair and hope, through faith and love. fiona=STILL perservering! says:
you know

*)(RhiannonMerlin)(* says:
technology has advanced to the point tt

№ 9- through despair and hope, through faith and love. fiona=STILL perservering! says:
right atht hat point
№ 9- through despair and hope, through faith and love. fiona=STILL perservering! says:
i wished you melvin kar yee bern and my friend joy were here

*)(RhiannonMerlin)(* says:
food is now more processed and there is need for fast and furious food....

*)(RhiannonMerlin)(* says:
( cue the chinese fast and furious song while the little food products come out and disco dance)

*)(RhiannonMerlin)(* says:
then with this need for fast and furious food , ppl wanna eat, but they also have no time to exercise, due to the increase f technology , they have to keep up with work using technology also....

*)(RhiannonMerlin)(* says:
so the fast and processed food, which is full of fat and evility, end up in the tummy, thighs, face, arms and calves.....

*)(RhiannonMerlin)(* says:
( food is still partying to the song, but now in the tummy, and as they slowly melt, the whole body looks as though it's singing the song)

*)(RhiannonMerlin)(* says:
then as more and more ppl do tt

*)(RhiannonMerlin)(* says:
they grow fat....

*)(RhiannonMerlin)(* says:
and when they grow fat, their clothes size change.....

*)(RhiannonMerlin)(* says:
thus they have to buy larger clothes!

*)(RhiannonMerlin)(* says:
( cue all the fat ppl in the world running towards shops to buy big clothes, also to the chinese version of fast and furious)

*)(RhiannonMerlin)(* says:
thus, ther is a higher possibility tt they'll run out of larger sized clothes...

*)(RhiannonMerlin)(* says:
then......

*)(RhiannonMerlin)(* says:
NO STOCK!

*)(RhiannonMerlin)(* says:
TADDDA!!!!!!!!!

*)(RhiannonMerlin)(* says:
thank you, thank u!

*)(RhiannonMerlin)(* says:
( this presentation is sponsored by the fast and furious. no fat ppl were harmed in the making of this explanation)

№ 9- through despair and hope, through faith and love. fiona=STILL perservering! says:
tell them this

№ 9- through despair and hope, through faith and love. fiona=STILL perservering! says:
they will shoot you down can

*)(RhiannonMerlin)(* says:
i'll like to see them try

thus, ladies and gentlemen, my screwed up version of why they are running out of stock , especially for the larger clothes in uniform shops.

This was meant to cheer fiona up cause of the guy tt scolded her for 3 mins today due to lack of stock....cheer up ol girl. there's a lot of crappy ppl out there, and i blame them thanks to their last min finding clothes for their young uns. sometimes i wonder why ppl do tt. we're just doing our jobs. i remember my time as a waitress with so much non happiness.
although once in ahwhile, i did pity them having a waitress like me.

2008-12-27T11:05:00.002+08:00

Joyce ripped this off someone's blog and gave it to me, so i have no idea what to do until i do this.....

Directions: Once you’ve been tagged, you have to write a note with 20 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 20 people to be tagged, listing their names and why you chose them.

01] My greatest fear ( an ironic one) is losing my mind.

02] I have this tendency to sing on the streets and pretend i'm in a musical.Right now, it's this song from Thoroughly Modern Millie called,' Forget about the boy."

03] I name the cats i see everyday.And not just ordinary names. i named a cat Rizzio. I swear i have nothing else to do.

04] I keep associating my friends with supernatural creatures.Melvin , for example , is a Vampire, while Fiona is either a Dryad or a Nyad.The list goes on.

05] I cannot ride a bicycle. This is a fact which is part of my fear of bicycles.

06] I like to quote and sing from Monty Python. For example, NI!

07] The words, " i'm hungry" pops into my mind at least 24 times a day.

08] My favorite hobby is agonising the hell out of people. Melvin's dad and i would team up to try and bully Melvin cause of his habits. His father does it out of love and concern for his son. i do it cause i'm really bored.

09] I'm actually very hungry.

10] I have a tendency to do run on sentences, which is something i know i shouldn't do, and it makes me ashamed of myself, but i feel as though this is on of my own defining traits , thus it gratifies me to do it....damn it , i did it again!

11] I'm in love with a red frog alien from an anime.

12] I'm also in love with a sadist from a special police force in another anime.

13] My social circle includes 3 anime freaks, one whom used to be obsessed with pokemon, a Prime Minister in training, an absolute freaking genius whom is also like a drill sergeant especially in speech, a guy who indulges in druken revelry and debauchery ( who's actually a nice guy), a military junkie , a girl tt has a chronic sleeping disorder, a perpetually hungry person, and a guy who's a bit like ( scratch tt, exactly) Tamaki Suoh from Ouran High School Host Club, which is another anime.

14] I have considered upon many an occasion, to change my name.

15] My favourite show is 60 Minutes.

16] I still bite my nails.

17] I have cultivated a way in which one of my good friends called ," The Champa Way" . Pls dun ask what it is. He's a dumbass.

18] One of my greatest fanstasies include me and my friends around a campfire in the middle of a forest while we cooks smores. Sadly, none of my friends think tt it's a good idea, and have since abadoned me when it comes to ideas for what to do.

19] My abosolute favourite place in the world is actually at the peak of a mountain while it overlooks the sea and a gale is blowing. best place to think about life.

20] I have plans to conquer the world. and nobody can stop me.

People I'm arrowing:

1. Viha. The rest have already been arrowed.

2008-12-26T23:52:00.000+08:00

Spamalot Cast - Diva's Lament Lyrics

LADY OF THE LAKE:
What ever happened to my part?
It was exciting at the start.
Now we're halfway through Act 2
And I've had nothing yet to do.

I've been offstage for far too long
It's ages since I had a song.
This is one unhappy Diva
The producer's have deceived her.
There is nothing I can sing from my heart.
Whatever Happened to My Part?

I am sick of my career
Always starting second gear
Up to here, with frustration and with fears.
I've no Grammy no Rewards,
I've no Tony Awards,
I'm Constantly replaced with Britney Spears

Whatever Happened to My Show?
I was a hit, now I don't know.
I'm with a bunch of British Knights,
Prancing 'round in woolly tights.

I might as well go to the Pub
They've been out searching for a shrub
Out shopping for a Bush
Well they can kiss my Tush
It seems to me they've really lost the plot

Whatever Happened to My
I'll Call my Agent, Dammit
Whatever Happened to My
Not Yours, Not Yours,
But My,
Part!

i'm singing this the next time i get into my diva mode.

2008-12-26T21:49:00.003+08:00

I just looked through the photos for the christmas party, and i have nth else to say except I LOOK LIKE A FAT DUMMY IN ALL OF THEM. Joyce and fiona , compared to me, look like absolute angels , while i just look like the strange lump of christmas pudding that came out from NOWHERE.

argh, i hate taking photos. its not that cause i look fat in all of the photos. a wise person once made this comment which i though was one of the best ever.

he said," people comment that they just look ugly in the photos and blame the camera for adding 10 pounds to them. what they don't see is the fact tt the photo merely capture the truth and the people just don't want to embrace the truth in front of them.

in short....

I hate taking photos beside the beautiful people cause i'm not pretty myself and i look like a horrible person next to them. so would the ppl at the reading list, pls stop trying to get me into photographs? you'll just spoil my self esteem. and i had a good onem until i see my photos.

argh...................................................

yes ,i am a narciscist. what else would i have started a blog in the first place? the writer gets to write whatever he/she would want cause in the blog, she's the star of her own show. so pls, if u're here to get a load of gossip about other people, i suggest u leave. this blog is about ME. get it? it's the writer's world.i get to star in my own show ! bwahahahhaahhah! to those who are right now shaking their heads in disbelief and saying, " i'll never do tt!" , think again. why start a blog if u dun wanna get attention from ppl ? when a person starts a blog, she is immediately considered an exibitionist. it doesn't matter if there are tons of other blogs out there tt are more popular than yours and u have written the blog under an alias. the point is, once u decide to open the blog , which is, by the way, short for WEB LOG, the show is immediately ours for the taking.

the best part about a blog?

even the ugly can write one and be the star .

this is my what, 4th year since 2004 blogging online, and for once, i'm actually happy about using it for once.

people always say, " champa, u know, u should update more often, and do more of this and not write more emo stuff and blah blah blah."

let me now address them in my own way , if i can....

firstly.....it's not a matter of whether you're busy or not in order to update a blog. the fact is, sometimes life's too dull. you can't always update about what chores you did today and stuff, its gonna get boring.......some people like me update when they wanna share something with the world or wanna express some message that they feel is important. or they get bored and just wanna find attention. for me, i treat the blog a bit like a talk show, and pretend tt for once, it's my life and it's now or never, cause i don't wanna live forever!!!!!

and with my talkshow,i do what i want.

as for the emo part, i'll try. the advice was given to me by a fren who has known me for many many years, and i do not wish to disappoint her too badly.

so anyway, what have we learnt today?

that champa ha only matters to one person, who is also champa ha.

ps. admittedly, this was a very egoistic post, for once showing the diva side of me. yes, i can get petty. yes i will be mean. and no , i won't tone it down for u. This is just part of who i am. and as one would say." if u can't stand the heat , get out of the kitchen."

2008-12-26T11:41:00.002+08:00

I'm not aware of too many things
I know what I know if you know what I mean
I'm not aware of too many things
I know what I know if you know what I mean

Philosophy, is the talk on a cereal box
Religion, is a smile on a dog
I'm not aware of too many things
i know what I know if you know what I mean

Chuck me in the shallow water
Before I get too deep

What I am is what I am are you what you are or what
What I am is what I am are you what you are or what

Oh I'm not aware of too many things
I know what I know if you know what I mean

Philosophy, is a walk on the slippery rocks
Religion, is a light in the fog
I'm not aware of too many things
I know what I know if you know what I mean
Do do ya

Chuck me in the shallow water
Before I get too deep
Chuck me in the shallow water
Before I get too deep

What I am is what I am are you what you are or what
What I am is what I am are you what you are or what
What I am is what I am are you what you are or what you are
What I am is what I am are you what you are or what

Da da da da
I say I say I say I do hey hey hey hey hey hey

Chuck me in the shallow water
Before I get too deep
Chuck me in the shallow water
Before I get too deep

Chuck me in the shallow water before I get too deep
Chuck me in the shallow water before I get too deep
Chuck me in the shallow water before I get too deep

Don't let me get too deep
Don't let me get too deep
Don't let me get too deep
Don't let me get too deep

What I am is what I am are you what you are or what
What I am is what I am are you what you are or what
What I am is what I am are you what you are or what you are
What I am is what I am are you what you are or what

Or what you are oh
Or what you are oh oh oh
Say what I am

-What I Am , Edie Brickell

This song is a bit special...its an old hit, considered a one hit wonder by the artist herself when she was with the New Bohemians...( dun ask why bands come up with weird names, i wasn't expecting the spanish inquisition or anything...)

a weird fren of mine once said tt this sing reminded him of me, and after listening to this song, i have to admit, this song applies to everyone. thanks to him, the song is a bit addictive. This guy should know, he's actually a veritable genius. darn the crazy ppl in the world.

oh yeah. Merry Christmas, people! hope u guys had fun!

i get reflective about things like this nowadays. Christmas is getting more and more ordinary every year it passes. i mean, i'm not a religious person, so this doesn't really matter to me about jesus's spirit. and for tt matter, i'm no charitable person ( seriously, i bite the heads off little kids when i get grumpy)

However, ppl get happy about celebrations to the point of getting up a party every year. i guess sometimes even ppl, in this world of confusion, discontent , disillusion, would wanna get a reminder why they want to live in the world in the first place. The small time period of family togetherness, friendship and sweetness is , i guess , one of the many small white patches on a canvas painted black by the people themselves. the blackness is somewhat the new norm in this world. we as ppl are getting too cynical and too much into what is in front of us to remember what is behind or not in front of us.

tt was a bit weird.

a few days ago, while out with my bestest of best frens, we started getting into a topic of the education system of kids and what they know compared to the kids of yesteryear ( aka , us teenagers). Viha had brought up this funny story of a kid who had to do a book report and needed her help ( it was in her modules for poly to oversee kids, dun ask me what the module is ,i have no idea myself.).

so anyway the kid asked her help to do a book report and viha was in a bit of a shock.

V: How old are u?
K: 7.

The kid's in primary one, and they're supposed to do a book report?! gee, the last time i remembered being 7, i had been learning how to construct perfect sentences.

V: ( trying to get her cool back) so what book do u wanna do?
K: This one! (plunks a copy of Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows)

( now at this point, imagine a gale of wind blowing a little tumblweed into the background. This is how i always imagined this scene)

V: ERM...isn't tt a bit hard?
K: but my teacher said tt we can't use books that are less than 20 pages!

at this point, let us now comment on what just came out of the mouth of the babe, as what an author might say.

its weird on just how much kids know and not know nowadays huh? viha also made the observation that many kids don't know what we know, like fairy tales of old and nursery rhymes....

which gave me a bit of a shock and a giggle as i remembered a particular line from harry potter:

" Harry and i grew up with muggle tales such as Snow White, Pinnochio and Cinderella..."
" What's tt , a disease?"

and yet they know so much about things such as avenge sevenfold ( i'm serious , viha said there was a kid who listened to it), paramore , britney spears...and these kids can also work a computer, Mp3 player and a handphone.....

are we , as a generation, getting kids to become grown ups faster than letting them enjoy childhood days of old? we're getting to understand more things and the speed of that is indirectly related to the age of kids as the years go by....

all i know is, the world is just spinning faster and faster and all of us mature even more faster and thus walk at a quicker but more agitated pace....this generation is born in a world of wars and disasters and we're acting quickly, but at the cost of our stability and balance of life, between peace and unhappiness.

are we going to one day move so fast that we're unable to look around us, to not care who we push in order to move forward, to not look behind your trail to see where u had come from, perhaps even walk past places and people that we love and walk so quickly to our goal that we have reached the end of our destination before we know it ?

Its already happening.

this fast paced life is not going to stop until we realise that in some parts of life, we have to take our time and not rush through, to look at the deep meanings of things, to find a place which u never wanted to go but when u do find the very thing u are looking for, and perhaps find the true meaning of life.

and now, if u may excuse me, i have to take my leave. there's a whole world i have to learn about, and i'm going to extend my learning by understanding the economy.

merry christmas, ppl. and remember, the slowest may not necessarily be the worst.

2008-12-22T23:36:00.002+08:00

damn it!

i miss you,

and i have vowed not to!

fuckfuckfuckfuck.

okay, passive agressiveness over....

MY PLUG IN BABY!!!!!CRUXIFY MY ENEMIES!....

( dadadaddadadadadadadadadaddaaallhailmusespluginbabydadadadadaddadadaddaadaddadad)

and what is my plug in baby?

one word, my ipod.

so thus, a love poem to my ipod....

oh i love my ipod!
never keeps me in a mood tt's odd!
it's my plug in baby.
and only second to my laptop , maybe.

(i know u people are out there groaning at my lack of creativity, thus.....e-crucios to thee crucios....damn in , schmerg_the_impala is a great writer in MNFF)

lalalalallalallalalla
i'm so bored.....and hungry....pls feed me with pizza, the super hawaiian one if possible

ladidadidadidading!

i;m gonna randomly choose a quote from a random movie which i will randomly love.....

' YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE!"

-obi wan kenobi, star wars, revenge of the sith

i feel drunk, but i'm not drunk.
damn the ginger beer i had...too bad it's not alcoholic....

2008-12-19T02:01:00.003+08:00

"I remember every time I hold you,my blunt companion. WHEN I REMEMBER, I DISMEMBER!"

They never said that the knife was a forgiving one.

Today:

I became company for a obessive compulsive shopper.

dun ask why , or how i got the job. i think it was cause i was bored. besides, it would be funny to see stuff first hand.

met my cousins on the way. they gave me an idea on what to do for a present.

wrapped up presents. tried to compose songs. gave up and just sang instead.

Funny story,

melvin and i were walking, when we passed by Seoul Gardens. we walked in to say hi to Serene, his sister, who was eating there, and nobody stopped us.

Serene was in a state of shock. Se couldn't believe that no one stopped us from walking in so freely and insisted that we paid our way in. It was quite funny.

oh yeah:

LIPTON MILK TEA!

" PST! Suwen. You sure he's not one of those patronising asses from the British Council?"
"C'mon, Nica! Give the guy a break! He's okay!"

2008-12-16T21:18:00.000+08:00

i refuse to acknowledge my mother's presence.

right now.

2008-12-16T15:10:00.003+08:00

JUNKIES
I can't feel nothin' at all!

GRAVEROBBER
Drug market, sub market,
Sometimes I wonder why I ever got in
Blood market, love market,
Sometiems I wonder why they need me at all!
Zydrate comes in a little glass vial.

SHILO
A little glass vial?

GRAVEROBBER
And the little glass vial goes into the gun like battery.
And the zydrate gun goes somewhere against your anatomy
And when the gun goes off, it sparks and you're ready for surgery.

AMBER SWEET
Graverobber... Graverobber...
Sometimes I wonder why I even bother.
Graverobber... Graverobber...
Sometimes I wonder why I need you at all!

GRAVEROBBER
And Amber Sweet is addicted to the knife

SHILO
Addicted to the knife?

JUNKIES
Addicted to the knife!

GRAVEROBBER
And addicted to the knife, she needs a little help with the agony.
And a little help comes in a little glass vial in a gun pressed against her anatomy
And when the gun goes off, Miss Sweet is ready for surgery

AMBER SWEET
Graverobber... Graverobber...
Sometimes I wonder why I need you at all...

JUNKIES (SHILO)
It's clean, it's clear, it's pure (It's what?), it's rare...

GRAVEROBBER (SHILO)
It takes you there (It what?)

GRAVEROBBER (AMBER)
It takes you there! (It takes me there!)

GENTERNS
A little jump

GRAVEROBBER
Before the cut

JUNKIES
Why agonize? Anesthetize

AMBER
I can't feel nothin' at all..

GRAVEROBBER (AMBER)
'Cos surgery is what you need (what I need), to change inside

GRAVEROBBER, JUNKIES, AMBER
To feel alive.

[Graverobber whistles.

SHILO
Hey, that's a Blind Mag song!

Amber snaps to attention

AMBER
Who did that?

Graverobber points at Shilo and backs away

AMBER
So you think you got heart?
So you think you got balls?
So you think Mag can sing?

SHILO
I don't think nothin' at all...

AMBER
So you think MAG has pipes?
Well it's my turn to shine
When the Repo man strieks!

SHILO
What are you talkin' about?

Amber shoves a news article into Shilo's hands]

GRAVEROBBER
Mag's contract's got some mighty fine print

SHILO
Some mighty fine print?

JUNKIES
Some mighty fine print...

GRAVEROBBER
And that mighty fine print puts Mag in a mighty fine predicament
If Mag up and splits, her eyes are forfeit, and if GeneCo and Rotti so will it,
Then a repo man will come and she'll pay for that surgery. Surgery...
Surgery... Surgery... (cont., with Junkies)

JUNKIES
I can't feel nothin' at all!

10 Worst (and Weirdest) Work Stories of 2008
By Rachel Zupek, CareerBuilder.com writer

Find Jobs
Keywords:

eg: Registered Nurse or Sales
Location:

2008 has been a big year: We experienced one of the most debated presidential elections in history; the Phillies won the World Series; Madonna and Guy Ritchie separated; our economy is in a recession; and a man got stabbed for giving an inexcusable haircut.

Wait a second -- you didn't hear about that last one? Let me fill you in: A San Diego man allegedly stabbed a barber who gave him an unacceptable haircut. The man attacked the shop owner as he was closing down and slashed him twice in the face. The motive was that the man was unhappy with a previous haircut, according to authorities. (Source: 10News.com)

In midst of all the daily chaos that goes on in the world, a different type of pandemonium takes place every day in the workplace. Sometimes you hear about it and sometimes you don't -- on the off chance that you haven't, we've done that part for you.

Here are some of the stranger things that happened in the workplace (and out) during 2008:

1. Central Florida firefighters save dogs with mouth-to-mouth resusitation

Firefighters in Florida revived several dogs by performing mouth-to-mouth resuscitation after they were rescued from a house fire. The dogs were taken to area hospitals. (Source: Local6.com)

2. Man shot by friend so he could skip work

One man took calling in sick to new extremes after he had his friend shoot him the shoulder so he could miss work. The man told deputies in Pasco, Wash., he was shot in a drive-by while jogging before work. He later revealed that he'd asked a friend to shoot him so he wouldn't have to take a drug test at the office. (Source: MSNBC.com)

3. Police chief fired after stealing beer from firefighters' fridge

The police chief of a small Kansas town was convicted of stealing beer after a surveillance tape showed him taking it from the fire department's refrigerator. It wasn't disclosed how much beer he pilfered or why it was in the fire department. He was suspended without pay pending an appeal of the conviction. (Source: Fox News)

4. Man shoots co-worker while rescuing him from crocodile

Two crocodile farm workers in northern Australia were collecting crocodile eggs by a river bank when a crocodile grabbed one of them by the arm. The second man shot the crocodile, which caused him to release the victim. A second shot fired, however, hit the man in the same arm in which the crocodile grabbed him. The man survived. (Source: CNN.com)

5. DVD in firefighter's coat blocks bullet

Barry McRoy, a South Carolina fire and rescue director, was leaving a Waffle House restaurant when two men came in fighting over a gun. The gun fired, hit one of the struggling men, shattered a window and hit McRoy, who didn't realize he'd been shot. The bullet hit a DVD McRoy had in his pocket; he suffered only a bruise. (Source: MSNBC.com)

6. Man tries to pay for meal with pot

A Vero Beach, Fla., McDonald's restaurant worker received a shock when a drive-thru customer offered to pay for his meal with marijuana. The cashier called police, who found drugs in the customer's car and arrested him. (Source: MSNBC.com)

7. Store changing 'open door' policy

After being robbed three times in one year, a New Hampshire convenience store is now requiring customers to be "approved" by the store owner before coming in. The store will keep its doors locked and customers are refused if the owner can't recognize them through the glass doors. (Source: WISHTV8.com)

8. Snake bites mailman -- who finishes rounds

A 66-year-old Florida mailman doing his rounds was bitten by a poisonous snake when he put mail inside a mailbox. He told authorities he shook his arm and beat the snake against his car door to loosen its grip. He continued his rounds for the next 30 minutes before seeking help. The snake was thought to be an Eastern diamondback rattlesnake. (Source: MSNBC.com)

9. 2 ex-workers sue Neiman Marcus over sex tape

Two former security employees at an Illinois Neiman Marcus are suing the department store, alleging they were illegally videotaped while having sexual intercourse at work. The two claim they were secretly videotaped on a hidden video camera and were fired because of their interactions. They also allege that a store manager shared the videotape with several others and on a nationwide online database of security personnel. (Source: Chicago Tribune)

10. Employee is charged in fight at restaurant

Two brothers employed at a Maryland restaurant argued over their job duties, which resulted in a knife fight. One brother reportedly told the other to mop the floor, which enraged him. Both brothers suffered small cuts, but only one was charged with first-degree assault. This was the second call from the restaurant where one worker attacked another with a knife. (Source: Baltimore Sun)

Rachel Zupek is a writer and blogger for CareerBuilder.com. She researches and writes about job search strategy, career management, hiring trends and workplace issues.

Copyright 2008 CareerBuilder.com. All rights reserved. The information contained in this article may not be published, broadcast or otherwise distributed without prior written authority.

Natsumi, my love. Kiss me tender and hold me tight forever!

2008-12-13T22:36:00.002+08:00

this is in response to the earlier video.

darn it! he's so cute!!!!

2008-12-13T21:42:00.002+08:00

i'm in love.

seriously in love.

unfortunately, i'm in love with a red coloured frog alien.

see this is what happens when u watch too much keroro gunsou.

2008-12-10T19:17:00.006+08:00

Since i got attacked both sides by joyce and fiona, so i might as well do this.

1. do you have secrets?
yeah, like the fact tt i secretly love bondage and sex. please, u dun expect me to tell u if i have secrets , do u?

2. would you fall in love with a boy younger than you?
heh. i mostly go for the guys tt are older or at most a few months younger than i am.

3. do you enjoy going school?
i dun mind it. however, school hates me, so it dumps all sorts of weird things at me.

4. what would you do with a billion dollars?
Buy a house for me and my mom and build a company for writing. the rest i would just save and maybe buy some random gadgets . Oh yes, a pet too, maybe a cat or a big dog, like a husky or a collie.

5. which is more blessed, being loved or loving someone?
more blessed? more like both are hell. the fact is, if both situations are one sided, there goes the blessed part and here comes a big curse. but i guess being loved and somepart feeling ike u might get used to it would be okay.

6. list out 10 favourite songs

1. Bad Case of Loving You
2. Stripper
3. Sakasama No Chou ( The inverted butterfly)
4. New Born
5. NightmaRe
6. Speak Softly Love
7. Zydrate Anatomy
8. Chase The Morning
9. At The Opera Tonight
10. Today More Than Yesterday

Like Fiona, i also have a lot of songs tt i love. but this is what i kinda love for now.

7. if the person you admired is attached, what will you do?
get a bit sad, but understand tt it was not to be, and wish them, in all sincerity, all the best.

8. is there anything that makes you extremely happy?
A cinnamon raisin pretzel bought by your fave person for u to cheer up. of course, u'll fee great even without the guy buying it for u.

9. what makes you angry?
People who just don't get what i'm feeling and i have to explain why i get angry all the time.and people who say relax when u're mad. i mean, seriously, who does tt? it just aggravates the person u say it to and u'll be at the receiving end too.

10. how would you see yourself in 10 years time?
a highly successful career woman at her peak but with no idea still why she is still so incomplete. or dead. no wait, too early... most probably the first one.

11. who is currently the most important person to you?
My best friend. Or my mom. or myself.

12. what is the most important thing in life?
To survive each day and not listen when people tell you it can't happen. You make your own decisions and u stick by them!

13. would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?
hm....how about rich , married and having an affair? nah...too cliched.....i'll say single and rich.

14. what is your fav colour?
Green, the shade slightly darker than olive green.

15. would you give all in to a relationship?
evrything but my wits.

16. if you fell in love with 2 people, who will you pick?
wow...the one who i know would do anything for me, and i for him. a bit cliched, but yeah.

17. would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a person has done to you?
Hahahahahahahhahahahahhahahhahahahahhahahahahahhahaha! You're asking the impossible!

18. what do you want to tell the person you like?
Please don't hate me for loving you.

19. what type of person will you fall in love with?
A person whom i can gel with , loves me back and not kill me. Tt's gonna be hard.

20. list 5 people to pass this on to

haha!

Wan Yi, yoke hwee, dinesh, viha ( what, didn't think i'll pick u?)and kar yee ( yes , u read my blog, so pls do this for me cause u know i love u!)

melvin and laurent, you got tagged by joyce and fiona, so there's no need to get tagged by me.

okay so i got a bit addicted to repo! the genetic opera. fiona more so than i did. so i'm posting one of her fave songs on this blog. in case she reads it. it kinda suits her , cause its about chasing your dreams, and not letting anyone stop you. the song's in my playlist, scroll down to find it and listen, just listen

Lyrics to Chase The Morning :
Blind Mag:
Shilo? Is your name, Shilo?
Can I talk to you?
Can you come down, please?
So we can speak.

I saw you at the show,
I thought I'd seen a ghost,
Your resemblence is striking,

You have your mothers eyes, her hair
I was told you died with her.
All these years have come and gone
How do I put this?
I'm your (I'm your)
Godmom.

Shilo:
State your business.

BM:
Business?

Shilo:
What do you want?

BM:
I want (I want) to finally meet you,
something real to cling to. Leave you,
With the hope that you will go to,
All your meant to, All I failed too!

In you is a world of promise
We have both been kept in bondage
But you can learn from all my failures

Shilo:
I'm not supposed to talk to strangers

BM:
Or let them through the gate?

Shilo:
That either.

Shilo:
A big risk!

BM:
A big fence!

Shilo:
A mistake!

BM:
A new friend!

Blind Mag/ Marni?:
Chase the morning!
Yield for nothing!
Chase the morning!
Yield for nothing!

Shilo:
How'd you do that?

BM: Do what?

Shilo:
That! That eye thing.

Bm:
These eyes can do more than see.

Shilo:
I know, I mean, I've seen you sing.

BM:
Where?

Shilo:
Through my window. I can see the world from there. Name the stars and constellations. Count the cars and watch the seasons.

BM:
I wish we could've watched together.

Shilo:
I can't have guests!

BM:
Never?

Shilo:
Ever! If Dad found out that I'd been let out, or that you'd been let in.

BM:
I should go then, before I do promise me you won't.

Shilo:
Better that you don't.

BM:
Don't forget a sheltered rose needs a little room to bloom outside her bedroom.

BM/ Marni?:
Chase the morning!
Yield for nothing!
Chase the morning!
Yield for nothing!

BM:
Let your life be your dream,
Integrity, honesty, its too late for me.
Don't look back till your free to chase the morning.

Yield for nothing
Chase the morning.
Yield for nothing.
Yield for nothing!

and this is the lyrics for a new song which i think would be interesting.... its a convo between the girl and her father , the girl questioning her father's words and her father then asking himself what he did wrong while raising her.he ends off with a vow to seek revenge against the person he thinks is responsible for " stealing" his daughter away, thus " letting the monster rise":

Lyrics to Let The Monster Rise :
Didn't I tell you not to go out, didn't I?

You did, you did

Didn't I say the world was cruel, didn't I?

You did, you did

So tell me how this happened
Where I went wrong
Tell me why
Can we just go home shy
And forget this dreadful night?

Didn't you say that you were different, didn't you?

I am, I am

Say you aren't that person, say it

I am, I am

Then tell me how to act, Dad
What to say, Dad
Tell me why
All you've ever told me
Every word is a lie

Didn't I build a house, a home, didn't I?

You did, you did

Didn't I raise her all alone, didn't I?

You did, you did

And Riley took my Shilo, stole my morning
He's to blame
If I can't be the father
Then let the monster rise

shit, i'm crying again.this music video which i have been watching is making me cry. damn it. this is the only korean song tt can make me cry while watching it.

Kim Jong Kook , today more than yesterday.

2008-12-09T21:06:00.003+08:00

Class: 07A1
HT(s): Ms Wendy Choo

No Name
1 ANDREA SARALINA BTE SAADA
2 ANG WEI JIA ISABELLA
3 CHAN LI WEN
4 CHEW WEI WEN MELVIN
5 CHUA WEIXUAN
6 HA THUC CHAMPA
7 HOW XIN HENG BERNADETTE
8 JONATHAN LIM ZHAN RUI
9 KULVINDER KAUR D/O KULDIP
10 LIM MELINDA
11 MUHAMMAD ZAINUDDIN B ZAHI
12 NUR ASSYIKIN BTE MOHAMAD
13 NUR DIYANAH BTE MOHD AZMI
14 NURANATI BTE RAZALI
15 PAMELJIT KAUR
16 RENUKA D/O BALASUBRAMANIU
17 SHAUN MATTHEW NIYO-RAMDAS
18 SITI AISHAH BTE KASMAN
19 SOLANO CHRISTINE TAN
20 SZE KAR YIN NICOLE
21 TAN CHEE HAN ALBERT
22 TAN JACK LONG
23 TAN KAI YI CHERYL
24 TAN SIXUAN
25 TENG YILIN ELAYNE
26 TEO YING YING ANITA
27 VALERIE MELISSA ANTHONY
28 WONG LIANG WEI GERAN
29 YIP XIN YI

its official. i'm stuck with a1.

am i happy about it? not really. i expected this to happen. its not an entirely surprising thingm, but i have to admit, i'm a bit sad.

if u wanna check the list is on mi link. under lim bock seng in repoisitory.

on a brighter note, i was talking to laxman just now about this and ....

Lax-THE-man- And I thought my jokes were bad says:
hmm today.i chcked the M.I link and wala it was there

*)(RhiannonMerlin)(* welcome to a1. says:
its voila!

Lax-THE-man- And I thought my jokes were bad says:
oh rite.voila it is

hahahhahahhahahahahh
i laughed at him for a while for tt. his fault. this is almost as funny as the bonjour incident....which i would not say cause fiona would beat me.

anyway, happy birthday laxman! happy 19th! i'm so sorry for laughing at you...but this shit was too funny to pass out!

Lax-THE-man- And I thought my jokes were bad says:
oh btw
Lax-THE-man- And I thought my jokes were bad says:
its my birthday
*)(RhiannonMerlin)(* WALAH! says:
fuck.
*)(RhiannonMerlin)(* WALAH! says:
so it is
*)(RhiannonMerlin)(* WALAH! says:
so anyway....walah! happy 19th!
*)(RhiannonMerlin)(* WALAH! says:
hahhaahhahahahha
Lax-THE-man- And I thought my jokes were bad says:
haha shut up.and thanks
*)(RhiannonMerlin)(* WALAH! says:
hey, think about it....
*)(RhiannonMerlin)(* WALAH! says:
like u never knew it was there and then.....walah! its your birthday!
Lax-THE-man- And I thought my jokes were bad says:
haha yes.very funny champa.i knew it was birthday.the moment ppl started calling/msging me at 12 yest
*)(RhiannonMerlin)(* WALAH! says:
wow....
*)(RhiannonMerlin)(* WALAH! says:
its like...it was 2359......and then WALAH! it became 0000 and your birthday!

hahahha i suck.

2008-12-09T00:21:00.002+08:00

remember i told u guys i wrote something for my fren wan yi cause she made me do it? well, she wrote back ....quote from her blog:

AWWW! Omg I was so touched by what Champa wrote! She even remembered all the details! Those were the happiest days, really.

So in return, I'm gona write one for her too :) here goes :

I've known Champa for like what, 12 years? Yeah, thats realllly long ago uh. Though we were in the same class since Primary 1, we only became best friends in Primary 3. Haha I remember you used to be this 'crybaby' since day 1 (I'm sure you're not one anymore) and how I used to tease you in primary school. Don't ask me how we became best friends, cuz honestly, I don't remember how either. It must be fate yeah.

Hmm I remember the times when we had sleepovers. If I didn't remember wrongly, our first ever sleep over was over at my place, cuz we had to do a group project together ( I remember although the number of members in a group was supposed to be 3-4, I insisted on being in the same group as you, so thats why we were the only group of 2 in class :P). I also remember you brought your 'pet' Furby over. And all the fun we had! We were like 'twins' when we went out LOL. We wore the same dress ( except mine was purple and yours was green), we had the same hair clips, and my mom also bought us the same sandals, cept yours was blue and mine was pink :) I even watched my first movie, Tarzan and Jane with you when we were in Primary 4!

And that time in Primary 5, when I stayed in your house for a few weeks cuz there was no one at home to take care of me. I remember all the pokemon soft toys you had, and we'd always put them around us before going to sleep. And the cabbage porridge that we ate every morning before going to school. Ooh I love that porridge! I even had them for lunch and dinner today! haha! And yes, I remember how we showered together everyday, squeezing in the super small bathtube of yours. hahah! Oh, and your dog Coffee! I remember how you and I used to play with Coffee! I could see how much you love your dog. You've always been an animal lover eh?

I also remember the times, when both of us used to talk on the phone ( you were wrong, we didn't only talked for half and hr, we talked for hours!). We would sing Huan Zhu Ge Ge's songs, and Pokemon songs, and joke around and yeah talk nonsense. haha I remember how I used to screammmmmm at you cuz there were times when I was talking to you but you were not paying any attention to me cuz you were watching tv at the same time :( Heh. And also remember the times of both of us, together with our moms? We would go to Temple street so often, where we would shop, and buy our pokemon cards and toys. I still keep them you know! hahaha do you know that you were the one who influenced me? I liked pokemon cuz of you! Lol and the time when both of us took a plane back to Singapore when you were talking to this Angmoh guy beside us! Lol

Oh oh! And the time when both of us went for the SHIP programme and the Rainbow programme! I remember the times when we visited all the places of interest in Singapore, how we did our mask painting, and our chinese dance with the fans!

Do you remember all these times? Haha I do, and will always do :) I want to thank you, for being such a great friend all these years, for everything you've done for me, and for bringing so much joy into my life. Without you, my pri-school life would be so different! You completed it, and made it the happiest times of my life! Thanks for coming to send me off at the airport too when I left for Aussie. Its okay if you don't come to pri-school gatherings, but please meet up with me whenever you're free! Also, since you're in Hong Kong now, send my regards to your mother please? I hope you're having fun there :)

Last but not least, I hope that you know that I'm always here whenever you need someone to talk to or something. You're so emo and weird sometimes. But you know that no matter what, I still love you :)

Love,
Wanyi/ Won ton mee (nick given by you)/your pri-school bestie/your friend forever :D

she wrote longer than i did! gosh, i am shocked about how far!

thank u loads much for what u wrote for me. and seriously, i would now like to apologize for all thse times i made u worry....gosh, i'm a head basket case, am i? i made so many people worry.... wan yi, ying jie....argh, i'll try not to make my blog posts so dreary , sad ,emo and weird. hope tt makes u smile when u read it.

2008-12-08T21:37:00.002+08:00

hello, meet me. mophead.

i got my hair cut. everyone scream .

yippee yay kay.

i bought new earphones today. whee!

and by the way. where is everybody?

i'm so bored and lonely here.

2008-12-07T19:13:00.003+08:00

Dear LC.

i guess you won't be using this nickname anymore. Not tt i would know. i kicked myself out of your life two years ago, near 3 years ago.

remind me, why did i do so?

trust me and my ability to be so low in self esteem at tt time in my life tt i decided to disappear from your life. and for tt matter, so many others.

i guess i kicked tt habit just this year. you might have liked where i am now. but then again, u love where u are at now. so maybe not.

what i am trying to say is....i'm sorry for having disappeared from your life.

but now , as i look back, i realised... i dun regret it. u look so much happier now.i won't destroy tt for myself.

take care of yourself, and robbie williams still rocks. perhaps we might see each other in england one day, where we promised we might go.

i am,
in most ways,
your lawyer.

Dear M.

there is nth i would say here tt i would have told you years ago.

NTH.

i guess in a very very miniscule way. u betrayed me. and for tt i can not really forgive u.

sorry for all the good times when we were kids.

C.

Dear frens,

i apologize for the slew of passive agressiveness. its just tt these past few days, i have been having these weird dreams. and they don't sit well with me at all. so i guess this is a sort of way to clear my debts of being such a petty human being.

now let's get back to our regularly scheduled programme before i have to puke.

there's no point in telling you ppl tt i am bored like hell.

9 more days ppl. i'm going to be here 9 more days, and i'll be back , with my fave computer, and my itunes.its kinda hard not to headbang to songs when u dun have the good songs here. as a substitute , i;ve been using the songs on this blog and air guitaring and drumming. its not as good as how the real musicians do it, melvin and laurent would have been appalled, but it doesn't matter, they're not here to tell me what to do. sometimes they're really like my parents....well, if melvin donned a wig and raised his voice a little higher and laurent gains a few more pounds, wears glasses and reads the newspaper all the time...( business times, anyone?) they would be perfect. except sometimes laurent ats more like a mother....let's not go there, i accidently imagined laurent in a worn but clean gingham gown, with white hair, mini glasses, an apron with frills and knitting needles. dun ask why my imagination is in overdrive.

anyway, an interesting story. i was watching 60 mins the other day, and an 18 year old medic has been awarded the silver star, only the second woman to be awarded it since world war two . some guys were mad about it, and for me, it doesn't make sense.

don't get me wrong, i'm all for women's rights. its just tt this thing is a bit weird. i'l explain later , when i get more info.

here's a funny story. a lot of ppl are not sleeping well in hk.

why? light pollution.

yes , it happens. when too much light comes in, ppl cannot sleep. which is bit scary. hong kong is almost lit up everyday and night. tt is scary.

________________________________________________________________________________

sorry, i got interrupted cause mom dragged me out to steamboat dinner with her frens. honestly , what is she looking for? tt the middled age ladies would suddenly become best frens with me and make me a member of their club ( limited edition jade bangles for the first 50 who join!)?

ah well, for entertainment sake , let's drag it out, bit by bit.

CHAMPA'S TIMELINE DURING A STEAMBOAT DINNER.

9.00 - get dragged out by mother. while i protest and tell her tt x men: the last stand would be playing in and hour, plus the fact tt i was missing criminal minds
right then , my mom closes the door and tell me to at least greet her frens with a hello! and an auntie! at the back of tt. apparently, my hi and nod of the head was not working very well with her. my only thought was whether my mom actually wanted a cheerleader with the bouncity bounce and happiness of a chihuahua for a daughter. or maybe an extremely happy golden retriever.

9.05- reach the place, and mom starts to wonder if we can have the discount since it was after 9 but didn't wanna embarrass herself. her concern- her face. my concern- my face getting cold .

9.07 - we locate mom's frens. they start arguing with table was big enough for the four of us to sit down. i start missing my frens and wondering what on earth would they be doing besides sleeping.

9.15-food comes, some of them my fav. those really long mushrooms, some of tt cabbage,meatballs and cocktail sausages . i smirk.

9: 16 - my mom makes me get drinks for everyone, to be polite. i get one can of orange drink, a 7 up and a coke for myself. mom wil definitely disapprove and if fiona, melvin, laurent joyce and the whole of singapore found out they would have my head.but i figure if i had to get through the night, i need or the energy or sweetness content i can get.

9.20 - food is cooked. i smile when ppl ask me about what food would i like to eat, and my mom tells them i dunno much cantonese. they smile and i wonder just how much my mom actually knows about the standard of my languages.anyway, since mom said i could eat whatever i want, i steal all the sausages i can get, imagining the reactions of my frens if they were at the table. fiona and joyce maybe exclaiming in shock tt i eat a lot of processed food, laurent deadpanning a joke, and melvin stealing my food. i chuckle, unfortunately in front of the ladies, luckily they dun notice, thanks to the tv in front of them.

9.30- i start missing them more , so i just ate and chewed on my food whilr remembering the last time the 5 of us went out for food. fiona was screaming something about switching seats with me cause i was fighting over food with melvin again, me declaring war on australia, joyce happily ignoring us, and laurent making us laugh over toilet jokes.

9.30 - 1000- eat too much. can't eat anymore.

i conclude the end of the steamboat dinner.
_________________________________________________________________________________

If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now. Even if we don’t speak often, please post a comment with a memory of You and I. It can be good or bad, it can be anything you want. When you’re finished, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or mortified) about what people remember about you.

Don't read and run :D
Please comment (by tagging on my tag board on the right :P), even if you wish to remain anonymous. :)

well this is what my fren wan yi said on her blog, and she's making me do this. so let's see.

i first met wan yi in primary one in sis.what class was tt.....P1R! argh! we've been in the same class for what? 6 years?wow! we had so many memories since then! remember how we always played freeze catch during lunch? wow! the memories in the plaza! how we trip and fall, pretend to be dogs with name tags onour arms, and how we'll taunt each other while running. remember how we'd talk for half and hour about nonsense on the phone? and how u and i stayed over at each other's houses? hahaha! we watched tarzan too! and took tt plane ride while wearing pink and purple three quarter pants. in a way, i have to thank u. despite the way i became all so cranky over the years after graduation, i can't believe u stil wouldn't give up on me. which explains why i decided to come and see u off when u decided to go off to australia. i miss u kid, and of all the ppl, you're one of the few i would do anything for. which is why i guess i'm doing this. pls, mention this to anyone else, and i will kill you, wan ton mee! hah! i never forgot tt! smiles kid! i promise, for u , i'l try to do something about my absentism from the gatherings....do u really miss me tt much?

-champa / one of your best frens in primary school and of course, someone u can count on.

i'll do this to u guys in year three or something . dun u dare forget it. and for tt, wan ton mee....I'M MAKING U DO THE SAME FOR YOUR BLOG! SO THERE! BWAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAH!!!!!!!!NYAHNYAHNYAHNYAHNYAH! AND TAG MY BLOG WHEN YOU'RE DONE!

2008-12-06T22:30:00.000+08:00

ISN'T ANYONE UPDATING THEIR BLOGS?

2008-12-06T18:15:00.001+08:00

2008-12-05T17:07:00.002+08:00

Fiona, u would like this.

meet: the catchyness of a trance goth vibe, mixed with the dark grittiness of the alley ways, the cut-nail snarl of a cat ,the gore of SaW and the somewhat addictive grunge songs...

and u get....

REPO! : the Genetic Opera

Remind me...its not for the faint hearted or the really do-gooders. Laurent, u might wish not to watch it, but if i ever get the DVD movie for this, i'm holding a movie party to watch this, at night and when we have extreme popcorn.

it's a very interesting concept. pam should have considered this when she was doing her pw ...this would be quite helpful.

for now, this is the most addictive one of them. but be warned, fellow readers, it is not for the faint hearted.the gore part of this is almost like SaW, and there are a few sexual parts, but this show, or rather, Rock Opera, is one to watch.

You might recognize, or maybe not, one of the actors, Paris Hilton. Normally i wouldn't choose her for this type of show.but she actually does this very well.
watch the video above, she's amber sweet.dun get put off yet.she's really good.

if u like gore and musicals, as well as admire the concept of surgery , u gotta read up on the plot on wikipedia and watch the videos on youtube.the dvd's only out in jan 29th next year. if u got a chance to watch this, do not pass this opp up!

2008-12-05T15:18:00.002+08:00

weird , funny stories:

one day , i was dreaming.

and i woke myself up saying," I AM LOST, YET I'M HERE!"

mom: what?

me: ignore me.

2nd funny story:

i dreamt i was looking for campbell soup in giants

i woke up with this weird tune and the line," new york is here!"

i sang it for a bit ....then gave up, cause it was too weird.

3rd funny story:

my mom walks by when i was reading joyce's blog.

she: is tt girl u?

me: say what?

she: tt girl is u!

me: tt's my fren joyce.

she: look ike u from the back leh!

me: tt's not me mother.

she: are u sure? she's wearing the same uniform also leh!

me: argh.

end of weird stories for now. i'm going to cut my hair now.

maybe i would look like joyce even more when i do so.

bwahahhahahahhah.

2008-12-04T22:14:00.002+08:00

Do you want a boyfriend or girlfriend?
- Boyfriend. i guess. i'm not sure. but for now, preferably a guy.

How many texts are in your inbox?
-Gee, i dunno. 100+? i dunno!

When did your last hug take place?
- i have no idea. i dun hug much. which is weird cause if tt's the case i should remember who i hugged. but yeah.

Who was the last person you talked to?
- On the phone? or in real life?

Is the last person you held hands with attractive?
- i dunno either.

Name one person on your top friends who is the most like you?
- hm...i have tons of people who are like me. Ying jie? melvin? fiona? laurent? joyce? parrims? they're all like me. pick one.

Do you get butterflies around the person you like?
- nah.they're easily exterminated by reality.

Will you get married?
- one of life's mysteries.

Have you ever been too drunk to remember a certain night?
- I have no idea.

When was the last time you smiled?
- just now, when watching this stupid clip on youtube.

Does anyone like you?
- Cats do. most dogs do. a hamster peed on me once. but not sure about humans.

Who was the first person you talked to today?
-My handphone counts right? i wanted to thank it for being there next to me when i needed it to be.

Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?
- i guess tt would be my brother . or someone in the clique. or laxman. or someone who i tak to on msn.

What are you NOT looking forward to?
- A levels. September. the year the world ends...wait, too easy...nobody enjoys tt.

Do you plan on moving out within the next year?
-too young...maybe when i get enough money.

Are you a forgiving person?
- Too easily one. But i also can carry grudges. and i never forget.

What's something you really want right now?
- earphones. my frens to be here. a sealion named tim, or a cat.pick one.

Have you ever kissed anyone named Michelle?
- Nope. never really personally knew one.

Who was the last person you drove with?
- the taxidriver?

How late did you stay up last night and why?
- Around late 0100 -0200. was wacthing david letterman and reading .

When was the last time you cried really, really hard?
- Erm...somewhere in october. when we got our results.quite embarrassing , really.

Can you live a day without TV?
- Funnily enough, yeah.

What is your ring tone?
-Mr Raindrop from amplified.

When was the last time you were extremely disappointed?
- Yesterday. when i was told the news tt my ipod could be spoiled and i was considering the possibility of a funeral.

Has anyone ever told you they were in love with you?
- nope.

Do you still talk to the person you were dating 8 months ago?
- i was dating someone?!

Are you pregnant?
- Nope (duh)

What did you do this past Saturday?
- slacked around loads. watched tv, read .

When is the next time you'll hug someone?
- maybe in times of dire stress.

Are you wearing anything on your feet right now?
-yeap. slippers

What are you doing this coming weekend?
- More slacking?

What do you want?
- 120 gb ipod classic . with cool earphones!

What are you eating?
-Erm...nothing.

Who do you miss?
- the guy tt makes these really great strawberry drinks.

What are you going to do after this?
- watch david letterman.hee.

What is your mood?
- nonchalant , with a tablespoon of sugar and a pinch of salt.

Are you happy with life right now?
- kinda , yeah

Who was the last person you texted?
- gor.

Last person of the opposite sex to give you a hug?
- Dun remember.

Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?
- Yes. all hail hitsuzen

First person under 'J' on your cell phone?
- Jackie burkqhart.

tagging:

melvin, joyce, fiona , laurent, dinesh and whoever reads this. Smiles. you're gotta be lucky to do this.

2008-12-04T17:50:00.002+08:00

i swear, this is a very funny joke. bruce willis is darn funny...i nearly choked on my cup of water( tt is i neary choked. cause i had no water to begin with. but rest assured, if i had a cup, i would have choked on it.)when i was watching this yesterday. i was laughing so hard, i woke my mom up.

anyway, i got hooked onto a kindred spirit. its a very funny story really, the show's been playing re-runs and i woke up feeling bored( how do people do tt anyway? weird, tons weird), so yeah.

anyway.

GOSSIP GIRL'S GETTING DELISH.

ARGH!!!!!

GET ME MY COMPUTER!!!

GET ME MY COMPUTER!!!!

no.....argh....

i hate myself.

2008-12-02T18:42:00.003+08:00

Britney Spears Circus Lyrics

There’s only two types of people in the world
The ones that entertain, and the ones that observe
Well baby I’m a put-on-a-show kinda girl
Don’t like the backseat, gotta be first
I’m like the ringleader
I call the shots
I’m like a firecracker
I make it hot
When I put on a show....

I feel the adrenaline moving through my veins
Spotlight on me and I’m ready to break
I’m like a performer, the dancefloor is my stage
Better be ready, hope that ya feel the same

All eyes on me in the center of the ring
Just like a circus
When I crack that whip, everybody gon' trip
Just like a circus
Don’t stand there watching me, follow me
Show me what you can do
Everybody let go, we can make a dancefloor
Just like a circus

There’s only two types of guys out there,
Ones that can hang with me, and ones that are scared
So baby I hope that you came prepared
I run a tight shift so, beware
I’m like the ringleader
I call the shots
I’m like a firecracker
I make it hot
then I put on a show

I feel the adrenaline moving through my veins
Spotlight on me and I’m ready to break
I’m like a performer, the dancefloor is my stage
Better be ready, hope that ya feel the same

All eyes on me in the center of the ring
Just like a circus
When I crack that whip, everybody gon' trip
Just like a circus
Don’t stand there watching me, follow me
Show me what you can do
Everybody let go, we can make a dancefloor
Just like a circus

Let's go.
Let me see what you can do.
I'm runnin' this (like like like like a circus)
Yeah.
Like a what? (like like like like a circus)

All eyes on me in the center of the ring
Just like a circus
When I crack that whip, everybody gon' trip
Just like a circus
Don’t stand there watching me, follow me
Show me what you can do
Everybody let go, we can make a dancefloor
Just like a circus

All eyes on me in the center of the ring
Just like a circus
When I crack that whip, everybody gon' trip
Just like a circus
Don’t stand there watching me, follow me
Show me what you can do
Everybody let go, we can make a dancefloor
Just like a circus

i'm going to die early, am i?

we're in bad financial times people. and the fact is, no matter how u try, u're going to sink no matter what.

in a bad mood partly cause it's hit my family. ah well.

not going to details...

but it just sucks

i hope next year would be fine.

anyway, here's a bit of fun....i love this show loads, so here i am advertising it....

Top ten facts about Sarah Palin.

top ten questions you'ld ask john mccain.

Top ten signs tt McCain is getting cocky.

top ten things abraham lincoln would say.

reasons why homer simpson would be a great president

i'm bored.and lonely....

there's no one to talk too.

i can'twait to get back to singapore.....

MELVIN! u gotta look after the computer! i forgot to mention it eats pasta and cheese for breakie and milk tea .!

2008-12-01T23:43:00.001+08:00

Honestly, i'm touched, i really am. U missed melvin in the photo though, u guys. but really.....thank u.

I'm still pissed.

But i'll get over it.

So let me be pissed.

and touched at the same time.