Paranoia; An RH. M Production

Monday, January 30, 2006

i have a confession to make.

i was very foolish on friday ,resulting in a near cold war with sessh.i didn't mean it ,but i was really pissed with myself.ms tan had just scolded us and she did so with me even more terribly.being rather disappointed with myself,i snapped at him in a very unfriendly manner.i walked out of school that day and had a good cry .it was a mixture of disappointment and anger.then after that ,i went home.

then yesterday,when i was online,i saw him but he kinda ran.

so here's my view:

if u have frens out there,don't be mad at them even if u had a bad day.it'll make u feel even worse.

On a brighter note,i kinda patched things up with marco yesterday!i feel slightly better abt that already.

so pls dont take your frens for granted.

it kinda sucks when u do.

Sunday, January 29, 2006

Gong xi fa cai!!!!

we welcome the year to the neighbourhood,singfalalalalalalalalalalala.
falalalalala!
from now on you'll be history!you'll be his,you'll be his, you'll be history!

i'm not crazy,i just like the simpsons.

just an update: so far i have broken all my new year's resolutions.

note: never make resolutions again.

Saturday, January 21, 2006

many apologies for not blogging for a long time.the place i am now staying has no internet access,so i am taking every opptune moment to use a com that has internet access.

unfortunately,it has left me to use the macdonald's internet corner and it isn't really doing much.it's very slow,and has no speaker.there's no way i can be sure if there is music on my blog.sad really.

and i jammed the com a couple of times.this was due to the fact that i kept clicking on my fren's blog which requires a password which i don't have!

u can see how many times i had tried to save the computer.i was lucky.

i have been reading more often to pass the time.unfortunately,beatty secondary school is not the kind of school which cultivates reading habits all the time.but i was lucky.

this year is o level year.i better wake up my ideas as the ppl at ns say and hope that i can't pass with a good mark.

i wanna be a pcyhchiatrist.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

I HATE ADULTS!!!!!!!!!!

today was a terrible day.
not a school,at home.

when i came back.i was shocked when vivenn told me that my mom had called and said i was to pack my bags and return home tomorrow.

i was shocked.

and little by little,the truth came out.

the two idiots were fighting due to.......the maid!!!!!!!

it's a very long story and can be seen from my cousin's blog.oh wait ,i got an excerpt:

i know! that sucks!

and now even worse things have erupted.my mom has told me to return home.

my aunt ,on the other hand,has told me to stay here!!!!!!

WHAT THE HELL DO U EXPECT ME TO DO!!!!!!!!

I AM NOT A YOYO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I AM NOT YOUR SLAVE TO COMMAND ME AT WILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It must be very restful at both Sessh's and Ying Jie's houses.I expect their dramas are much more restfull than mine's are.

Monday, January 09, 2006

why me????

i am pathetic.

that's what i am.pathetic.

i feel useless and bored .i am the scar from the wound that just wouldn't heal.

not only with my personal life.also from my social life.

boys jeer at me openly and others can't really look me in the eye.they can't take me seriously.

girls stare at me and laugh at me behind my back.i don't know who to trust.

very few know my secrets and fears.even fewer actually know who i am.

this is all my fault for being a notorious kid in school.

IKNEWTHISWOULDRUINME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I KNEW IT.I'M CRACKINGUP.

Sunday, January 08, 2006

I've thought abt it for along time and i just realized that there are some interesting facts that i never really told anyone abt(due to many reasons),let's just list them down one by one,

1_*I have no idea why ppl like alcohol so much.I gag when i drink DOM.
2_*I think that Mrs Tan is not really so bad.
3_*I ACTUALLY LIKE solitude.It's not really so bad.
4_*i also like lindsay lohan and Jennifer Lopez.I can't really see anything wrong with them.
5_*i really don't see the reason why i should cut my hair.
6_*i think that stories abt love are ridiculous,yet i secretly envy the characters.
7_*i think that cousins who like makeup and clothes are very troublesome.because we are always late to impt stuff.
8_*i don't see the reason of keeping my stuff.
9_*i don't see the reason why i have to stay here in my aunt's house.
10_*i don't really hate hitler,even though it is true he caused the war and the holocaust.i just think he's misunderstood.
11_*i don't see the point of studies .
12_*i also don't see the point of going to a good jc.
13_* i actually think that maybe poly is more of my thing.
14_*i don't really see the point of planning ahead.
15_*i like lame stuff.really,i do.
16_*my dream is to be a lawyer.but considering the fact that i am crap at debating,maybe i should try another dream.maybe a criminal pschiatrist.
17_*i love walking in the rain.i don't mind getting soaked.
18_*i hate resonsibility.
19_*i'm childish.i don;t see the reason of changing.
20_*i may not seem to care on what u might say abt me.but i do .a lot.

now, feeling too low.

You know,it just occurred to me(actually ,it has been in my head for a long time)

Am i repulsive?

Disgusting in any way?

If so ,at least tell me!

If not,why do boys (especially those in class)have on me?

Is that why there is tension btw me and my fren,just because he's a guy?

is THAT the reason why Yao Wei and i are sworn enemies(in my opinion)?

and,(i feel apphrension as i type this,but i know that if i don't say this it gnaw my brain until in breakdown in front of my class),

is that why i always feel as though i am the anti-christ,destined to be unloved?

i felt that once.all the questions above.In sec 3.during a hockey match btw sec 3's and sec4s

as the only girl of the team,i was doing my best to be a part of it.But the boys gave up half way and started lounging around instead of fighting!

After that,they wouldn't even help me pack up.

i felt my old crybaby habit kick in.I broke down in the middle of the court,holding one of the sticks for support.Ppl (the class girls and the PE Teachers) kept asking me what had happened .

But i wasn't going to tell them.

not in front of them.

so now u know ,reader,just who u are facing .A weak ,indescive girl,unable to change.

Crap,now i really feel like the anti- christ.

To marco: are u mad?if you are ,u have every right to be.

right now as i sit here and type down my thoughts,i have a sudden feeling of betrayal.

look ppl,i didn't get betrayed.not yet anyway.

it's just that the picture i saw of one of my friends suddenly made me feel so guilty.

You see,ppl,i haven't really talked to this fren as much as i am supposed to and i know he can sense it too.yesterday when i tried to,if you were there,you could almost feel the awkwardness btw us.

i feel immensely guilty.

And i also realize that i am not as reliable of a fren as i am.what happens when i talk to my fren and in the middle of the conversation,he/she just realizes that maybe i was too unreliable as a fren?

Or even worse,start blaming him/herself?

Nvm that then.

Now ladies and gents,i'll like to bring up a topic that every single beattyian(except for the teachers,they don'y really count,except maybe Ms. Tan and Ms. Huang)would know and right now thinking of ways to destroy him.

The new DM.

I WISH I COULD HAVE A PROTEST JUST LIKE THE ONE I SAW IN HK IN DEC.

this dude.....woah......

let's just say it's too early too tell just how despicable he can be........

but that doesn't mean we don't know that he's even worse than Mr Boo.

Saturday, January 07, 2006

It's been a good day!

Woah...

What a great day today!
Firstly,we had an interesting physics lesson on magnetism. Mr Goh was explaining to us the laws of magnetism.Then he went on to the history of the magnet.

"The magnet was discovered thousands of years ago.",he said as he stands by the teacher's table."Who can tell me who found the magnet?"

It was obvious from the chatter that broke out next that we all knew who did find out abt the magnet.A shepard .It was featured in our primary 3 science textbook.

Then he explained to us just what the kid was up to in the first place.Apparently ,the kid was looking for a sheep that had wandered off.

that's when the conversation got a little zany.

"Class,the sheep is one of the stupidest animals in the world."Mr Goh announced."If you go the Europe on a field trip and spot a sheep at the edge of the mountain,you kick him off,he'll roll off the hill and when someone puts him back on his legs ,he 'll gaze at you blankly ,bleat, and go off somewhere else chewing grass as though nothing had happened."

Now that was interesting.

it certainly got all of us fits of giggles which we never really got over with.

We also learnt an impt lesson on why if unlike poles attract,why do all north poles point to well,the North Pole?

That's because the north pole is not the true north pole in the first place!

the details are kinda fuzzy,but i think i understood what he had said.

but wait,let's us speed time forward to the debate session we had in the afternoon.Nitta was supposed to take us ,but she was supposed to come in at 230 and it was early,like 1-2.So we let of some destress by finishing our speeches ,laughing and drinking copious amounts of green tea and water(ok,i admit it,it was me kay?)

Sessh had ,i think ,challenged thanusha into a weapon artillery showdown .It wasn't exactly a challenge.It was more of Sessh aggravating Thanu.But let us go on with the showdown....

"i have stapler,holepuncher and ruler!"Sessh exclaims

Well,stationery can be considered as weapons due to the fact that they are sharp.I can safely say that.

Then Thanu says"Well,i got a tampon!So don't you come near me!"

Sessh:huh?
Thanu:What?
Sessh:What's a tampon?(giving that blur king look that i had only seen on one other person.Marco)
Thanu:........
Viha:Wait,you don't know what a tampon is?
Sessh:No

(Cue Kanchana,champa,thanu,yj laughter)

Well it took a long time ,but we finally got the message across.

Later ,i commented that sessh was like a sheep to yj.Both of us had near hysterics during which the other girls wanted to know why two sane (erm make that one sane and one half sane)ppl were laughing their heads off like mad ppl.

Sessh,i hope you see the funny side of the story if you read this.Don't kill me.

Oh yes,i also think i improved in my debate speech!It was better than before!I shall continue to do this until i can be better than when i first started out!Whahoo!!!!

Monday, January 02, 2006

This is the last post of the holidays.

And i have to say i kinda improved.I experienced new stuff like the space wheel(note:never,ever go there again.it scares the heck out of me)and the eagle,this huge spinning thingy.

and i am growing more confident.i feel almost powerful everywhere i go.and should also remember that thou art a mortal.

Tomorrow,it may change.

and until now,i STILL DON'T KNOW WHO THE HELL IS HIPHOPGUY18!!!!!!!!!!!

CAN SOMEONE ENLIGHTEN ME ??????!!!!!!!!!!!!!