Paranoia; An RH. M Production

Saturday, May 26, 2007

this shall be my last post till i come back from shanghai. its gonna be at least 6 days or so, so it won't be that long.

well, since it has already been three months since school started, i shall be using this post to express my feelings on how i changed since three months ago.

when i first started, i hated most of my classmates before i even saw them. well, i was at MI and i thought most of them were a bunch of bimbos , loud mouthed malays( i think they're called minahs and muds in singapore slang), and loads of snobbish jocks like nanbing and others in secondary school. you know the type, those that act cute and stuff to get good grades with the teachers even though u know that they are actually horribly sickening inside.

well, that's what i thought. so you guys can see how horrible a person i was before entering MI.

then , on my first day in MI , i was kinda alone and bored. you try being fresh as a daisy when u get stuck in a lecture room for 3 straight hours while adminsitration stuff was going on. during this time, i saw some faces, including one of a certain future class rep.

most were talking a little too much for my comfort , though i myself am rather chatty once i'm okay.

so anyway, after admins was FINALLY done,(gods , i was screaming in relief)i went to my new class with much trepidation. i didn't know who they were and if they were nice ppl. on the plus side, i knew that i chose good subjects and if anything bad were to happen , at least i had good subjects to fall back on.

i sat down in my new class for the first time, and met christine. we got talking right away. then i met isabella . then yang jun. then many others.

i was lucky. they got me an okay class. but what happens if they hated me?

so far, i'm lucky . they still like me.

anyway, i deemed some ppl as ppl i would never talk to cause they either looked snobbish or scary. melvin for example, was deemed by me as a pale guy who was most probably an idiot who never studied. later he would reveal himself as an all rounder who did track , played the piano to an astonishing degree ,a bookaholic , studious person who still had time to go clubbing.
max , for another thing was a person who was an egoistic idiotic who probably was a casanova, since he was eurasian. judging by the fact that the girls were all obsessed over him , i deemed him an overbearing jock, most probably the idiot who never really thought much. definitely a figurehead if someone were to elect him as class rep. course, i did vote for him, mainly cause i wanted to prove my figurehead theory.

he's still an idiot. but a nice idiot who actually thinks about school issues.an is actually very nice person. who fights with me over the stupid window.

and there are some girls who i knew at that time i would never talk to. like pam , cause she looked too bimbo like.

anyway , i stopped thinking that by week 2.i've opened up more , i like my classmates now.i don't have any best fren there at the moment, but i dun really care if i don't. cause the turtles are my sisters, and i dun need anyone better.

i fought with max over the window yesterday. it was quite a stupid predicament. see i wanted window space so i sat next to the window. max decided that he wanted window space too. so, he pushed the window to my side, which means there is no air for me.
i pushed it back. so if you continue this stunt for a few more minutes, you have two idiots , neither giving way over the damn window . i would be willing to stop the fight if not for the fact that max had that evil glint in his eyes. which meant that ...HE WAS DOING THIS ON PURPOSE!!!

argh!! poor gp teacher was staring at us as though we had gone mad.

oh yeah, max the idiot also perfected the MELINDA. basically , it means that he does a particular expression of hers to a T. so it leads me to giggle loads when he does that.

and the new guy? let's just say i dunno what to do about you. perhaps i will once we come back to school.you're the only one who can make me laugh to tears and make me smile with the idiotic stunts you do.

stupid me is now grinning away stupidly. ARGH!!!

Thursday, May 24, 2007

i'm been sick...sorry for not really updating. for the past three days, i've been learning how it feels to be a morning glory....all happy and perky in mornings and stuff, then i crash when i reach home.

i can't spell properly anymore.i dunno where i stand in people's lives...i'm so tired.

anyway , my lcd of my phone is spolit!
half spolit .but still...at least not as bad as gwen's phone last time.which was sad, cause i got two very pretty backgrounds from maxilla today....sigh.....
anyway i still can see and stuff , so i'll be saving up loads to get it repaired.

by the way, i should be working on my chinese now.but how? and i really dun want to.i'm sick of ppl telling me what i should do....i'm really tired and stuff.

btw , the new guy has a very sweet smile....warmth is exuded....

i'm leaving for shanghai in two days...i think...yeah....

can't wait for the plane ride, though i have been warned abt it's bad service.

ah well, part and parcel of life.what i really want to know is if i will be sleeping in a good bed and also if i can get a good outlet for my iPod and phone....cause of course i'll be bringing it with me....i need music....and i'll be bringing a good sturdy book....

by the way, my study of human nature is not done yet...i see loads of interesting stuff everyday and in MI , there's loads of materials and test subjects...but it leads me to a lot of bad stuff too...

and i really need to see the turtles....i miss them loads...

Sunday, May 20, 2007

okay . i'm now stuck in this weird life.

shuting out all external influences. why is it tt marco is somehow back?

i feel like lear, unale to see who is loyal to me.i dunno if i like the new HIM now. cause marco's kinda back. and i still haven;t resolved that yet.

Linkin park, pls help me block out all noise .

Saturday, May 19, 2007

(was inspired by harris's post.)

stupid pills. stupid cough syrup. stupid me for getting sick so i have to consume all these pills. and cough syrup.

Friday, May 18, 2007

i'm back after erm.....three days? so much has kinda happened.

so here we shall start.

1) linkin park's newest cd is out!

whoohoo!!! champa is really happy cause it is out!hehe....why? cause it is linkin park! the anthem which i lived and breathed through secondary school life when the miserable ppl were getting me down.especially the screaming of chester bennington. it seems to have changed its sound though. but anyway , it rocks!

2)Today's incidence with gp and sports day.

only stupid me can get sick on an exam day. all because of noodles.stupid sore throat. what am i ,stupid? anyway , doctor visit ? check . mc getting? check.

that means right now as the many ppl of Millennia institute are screaming their heads off cheering for the stupud runners , im at home resting my head , my throat and my stupid dignity. such is the idiocy one has to put up with if they ever live with me.

3)the student report on ha thuc champa ( aka ME)

well, let's see what the teachers have to say about me....

General Paper,"Pleasant personality. generally positive attitude and takes her work seriously. She has potential to do better in the subject."

(uhhuh! yes! thank you thank you thank you!)

Chinese,"She has shown a keeness to learn and excel."

(this was really scary. i never liked chinese that much. so me making an effort in class for this is a huge leap.)

History,"Champa is a keen learner and a confident speaker. She contrubutes meaningfully to group and class discussions. Keep up the good work!"

(wow , i never realized that both teachers liked me that much. remind me to be nice to them. course , i love history , so that should be easy.)

English Literature,"Champa is a pleasure to have in class and she is very enthusiastic and enjoys the subject. She must continue at this pace as she has the potential to excel."

(wow....i'm so touched.....i love lit too!i like all four teachers . they all have their quirky personalities. )

Economics: "Champa is proactive and participative in class. She shows interest in her work and does her homework diligently . With consistent hard work and effort , she could acheive better results."

(hm...i'm beginning to like econs myself. it really all about thinking. gotta work on that)

See ? All were good comments about me! all were good !

THEN MATH HAD TO COME UP.

Math:Positive attitude and good behaviour. (i'm okay with that)Weak in maths (what?)
Slow in grasping concepts (EXCUSE ME!) Needs to put in more effort in her work.

(i am so not talking to you anymore , mr ho.)

ARGH!!!

4) the new guy.

well, i dunno anymore if he really is the one. the pendulum swings every few minutes. anyway , if i keep getting mixed signals , i will threaten to turn lesbian.

wait. i dun wanna turn turn lesbian. cause i like guys. argh! i hate myself for thinking this way. if this was a few years ago, you would definitely not be my type.

but now? maybe it's your eyes. that earnestness. that mischievious glint.

i think i need to get back in life. i need a new crush.

i just received news that garnet won sports day. i dun really care , but why garnet?

i can bet you they are all having fun there without me. i dun really make an impact on ppl's lives right? i mean, i have absolutely no personality whatsoever. i cannot be normal, i can't be nice to ppl , no one will remember me in ten years time. what will they put on my tombstone?

HA THUC CHAMPA. DIED 26 JULY 2024. NOBODY KNOWS WHERE YOU ARE. THEN AGAIN , NOBODY WANTS TO KNOW.

rather pathethic huh? i still think i'll die when i'm 34. i dun care what my friends say about that. i really want to know , will anyone remember me when i'm dead? did i really influence anyone in life? did i make an impact on ppl's lives?

i dunno anymore.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

the teacher was asking us questions. too many , if you ask me.but hey i'm not complaining. i love history.

1)Imagine that you are a farmer. what would be your most important resource?
2)What happens if you lose that precious resource?
3)Someone has stolen your most precious resource. what would you do?

after writing down our answers, we did the shuffling of papers and we were looking at our friends answers...the guy was telling us to read one of ours out.

suddenly, a voice could be heard in the horizon..."Cher!!! can i read mine?"

pam's voice...wow.wonder whose paper is she gonna read?i have a sudden foreboding thought...oh my god! she is so not gonna...

"now this one is champa's...."

CRASH. there was me , and my mouth...had to use my pen to jab me to wake up.

"her first answer was,"hm.... if i were a farmer,the most important would be...good fertilizing earth....and maybe healthy and well animals....depends on what kind of farmer i am." the second one was ,"if i ever lose my resources , the first thing i'll do most probably is scream bloody murder. then start working on bring it back to me. " her third was ,"Someone taking away my resource? Dude , you better be ready. i'll be there to track you down and fight you for it.""

OMG. OMG OMG OMG.

you could have fried an egg on my face. argh...

anyway , the whole class was laughing at the answers at the last two portions.

argh again.

okay...what should i do to prep this up ....i know!!

today we had the best weather singapore has ever experienced!!
the rain was on my left , the wind was on my right and i was in the middle, running and screaming happily .

max was really funny today...i walk into class and noticed a huge muffin sitting at a table . figuring i was going blind, i took a second look...and it was max, with his hair cut at the sides and back! omg!!!i couldn't help but smile to myself as i walked out to get water. as i walked , i couldn't help but smile and laugh at myself. it was too funny. by the time i came back to class, i was laughing hysterically.

dun worry, the class was laughing too.

anyway, i gotta make sure i know who i keep thinking of. my head keeps spinning...my head feels really headachey and my heart keeps feeling squished.... course i could be infatuated with the guy , so yeah....heheh..... ying jie/rafe seems to be in the same boat as i am. but hers is not as bad as mine. even she commented on that. course , i also seem to be the only kid who knows she is going to die at 34. i seem to be an idiot when it comes to death...

by the way , i nearly got into a fight today with some kid. i dun really wanna talk abt it , partly cause i dun wanna bring it up and also cause i forgot some details. heh...i seem to be dying in all areas....max seemed to want to make sure that the thing is done. he keeps telling me that i shouldnt have apologized to the girl and even went to ms low to tell her. i really dun want to,but in the end , i did, cause max told her .

i just remembered that now everyone keeps calling me "chumpa " instead of champa. first max , then dinesh , laurent , now even melvin and kirren( i think this is how you spell it.) even now, my cousins are calling me that, even doing it the same way dinesh does it...sigh....

how the hell do they know each other to spread this info? i dunno.

Monday, May 14, 2007

hm.....
talked to fiona today...it's interesting what you learn from someone..hope i didn't freak her out abt what i told her about me.anyway...got to see him ...it was great! but i gotta stop smiling and laughing so much in front of him....he gives me that warm feeling... now if it was one year later i would hug him...but......(huge record skipping) tt won't happen....cause i swore to myself, no more pain....tt heartache tt HE gave me was bad enough. i'm giving up on him now

but it's nice to see him smile....the new one tt is....

Saturday, May 12, 2007

i hate you people.

conversation with leo today.

change ur nick! change ur nick! tt's all i hear nowadays! says:
y? wats wrong?

*}{Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
guess what.

change ur nick! change ur nick! tt's all i hear nowadays! says:
wat?


*}{Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
the stupid relatives tell me to come home early cause they want me to work.

change ur nick! change ur nick! tt's all i hear nowadays! says:
n?

*}{Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
they convieniently forgot to tell me they were all outside and the house was locked up.

change ur nick! change ur nick! tt's all i hear nowadays! says:
so how long did u wait?

*}{Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
after 30 mins, my cousin screams and asks me where the damn hell i was.

*}{Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
i told them , and they freaked.

change ur nick! change ur nick! tt's all i hear nowadays! says:
n?

*}{Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
they were all," don't you know how to climb up to get the key hanging up there.?"

*}{Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
i was so damn pissed.

*}{Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
cause firstly the damn key is inside the gate.l

*}{Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
secondly i had to climb up the damn gate.

*}{Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
and stretch like crazy....

*}{Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
and of course i told them to fuck themselves.

change ur nick! change ur nick! tt's all i hear nowadays! says:
wow... when did u bcm so rude?

*}{Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
I'M CARRYING A CHEESECAKE AND CHOCOLATE CAKE WHICH THEY TOLD ME TO PICK UP ON THE WAY HOME.

*}{Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
IF IT MELTS I'LL BE BLAMED!

change ur nick! change ur nick! tt's all i hear nowadays! says:
oh... dint u noe tt the key was there earlier?

*}{Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
NO!\

*}{Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
THEY NEVER MENTIONED THAT THEY WOULDN'T BE ANYBODY IN THE DAMN HOUSE EITHER!

change ur nick! change ur nick! tt's all i hear nowadays! says:
ok ok... stop with the capitals

change ur nick! change ur nick! tt's all i hear nowadays! says:
chill babbe

change ur nick! change ur nick! tt's all i hear nowadays! says:
babe

*}{Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
i'm not going to work and that's final.

*}{Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
over my dead body.

change ur nick! change ur nick! tt's all i hear nowadays! says:
wat time did they ask u 2 go 2 work?

*}{Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
hm....

*}{Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
THREE.

change ur nick! change ur nick! tt's all i hear nowadays! says:
ok...

*}{Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
THREE TO FOUR.

change ur nick! change ur nick! tt's all i hear nowadays! says:
do u noe its now 6?

*}{Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
who gives a damn.

change ur nick! change ur nick! tt's all i hear nowadays! says:
hry girl, cool it

*}{Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
i was in orchard picking up the damn cake.

change ur nick! change ur nick! tt's all i hear nowadays! says:
re;ax... its all over

change ur nick! change ur nick! tt's all i hear nowadays! says:
u cant do anything bout it now!

*}{Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
yes i can.

*}{Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
i can cry over it and scream abt it.

change ur nick! change ur nick! tt's all i hear nowadays! says:
but how will tt help?

*}{Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
i get the lid over the damn ljar that represents my life and stop talking to everyone.

*}{Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
no one bothers me.

*}{Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
no one hurts me.

change ur nick! change ur nick! tt's all i hear nowadays! says:
by screaming n venting unnecessary anger, u shut out e rest of e world?!

change ur nick! change ur nick! tt's all i hear nowadays! says:
how?

Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
it leads me to avoid the idiots that did me wrong.

*}{Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
i am not talking to anyone except my sisters and my mom.

change ur nick! change ur nick! tt's all i hear nowadays! says:
by screamin?'

*}{Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
yes.

*}{Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
releases the stress.

change ur nick! change ur nick! tt's all i hear nowadays! says:
pls la... chum

change ur nick! change ur nick! tt's all i hear nowadays! says:
it happened n ur angry

change ur nick! change ur nick! tt's all i hear nowadays! says:
ya

change ur nick! change ur nick! tt's all i hear nowadays! says:
but this is takin it too far

*}{Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
yeah well.

*}{Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
leo, i was afraid that everyone forgot me.and i was alone.

change ur nick! change ur nick! tt's all i hear nowadays! says:
how can u think tt?

change ur nick! change ur nick! tt's all i hear nowadays! says:
YOU

change ur nick! change ur nick! tt's all i hear nowadays! says:
u r nva easily 4gettable

*}{Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
you guys are not near me anymore, i seem to piss everyone off and there's no one i can trust in my school.

*}{Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
school is okay.

change ur nick! change ur nick! tt's all i hear nowadays! says:
y is thr no1 u can trust in sch?

*}{Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
cause there's no one i can trust there.

change ur nick! change ur nick! tt's all i hear nowadays! says:
i thot u made a few frens?

*}{Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
everyone seems to have double agendas , everyone seems so unsatisfied, and i dunno who to believe anymore.

*}{Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
i used to think that everyone were frens with each other, and that was good.

change ur nick! change ur nick! tt's all i hear nowadays! says:
n mow?

change ur nick! change ur nick! tt's all i hear nowadays! says:
*now?

*}{Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
but i keep seeing the cracks that force frenships to break.

change ur nick! change ur nick! tt's all i hear nowadays! says:
lyk?

*}{Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
backstabbing, obsessions , moodswings.

change ur nick! change ur nick! tt's all i hear nowadays! says:
ok... tt's happaning in my class now 2

change ur nick! change ur nick! tt's all i hear nowadays! says:
u juz hv 2 find 1 or 2 ppl tt u really lyk n stick wif them

*}{Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
there's no one, leo.

*}{Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
no one.

change ur nick! change ur nick! tt's all i hear nowadays! says:
thr muz b 1 person

change ur nick! change ur nick! tt's all i hear nowadays! says:
say sum1 in ur proj grps

*}{Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
no one leo.

*}{Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
zilch.

*}{Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
nada.

(skip some things here...some things are too sensitive to be revealed...)

           *}{Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
leo, i can't do it anymore.

change ur nick! change ur nick! tt's all i hear nowadays! says:
do wat?

           *}{Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
i dunno.

           *}{Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
everything and anything.

change ur nick! change ur nick! tt's all i hear nowadays! says:
champa,

change ur nick! change ur nick! tt's all i hear nowadays! says:
u r over thinking situations n scenarios tt r nt there

change ur nick! change ur nick! tt's all i hear nowadays! says:
juz b urself

change ur nick! change ur nick! tt's all i hear nowadays! says:
evrythin will b fine

*}{Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
thanks leo.

change ur nick! change ur nick! tt's all i hear nowadays! says:
ur welcome.

change ur nick! change ur nick! tt's all i hear nowadays! says:
PLS dun over think things

           *}{Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
i can't do that, leo.

change ur nick! change ur nick! tt's all i hear nowadays! says:
yes u can

           *}{Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
it's the only way i know how to survive.

change ur nick! change ur nick! tt's all i hear nowadays! says:
preoccupy urself

change ur nick! change ur nick! tt's all i hear nowadays! says:
with alot of activities

           *}{Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
for four years, i have used this method to keep me planned...

change ur nick! change ur nick! tt's all i hear nowadays! says:
change it

           *}{Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
so that if something happens, i won't be disappointed or depressed that i was let down heavily.

change ur nick! change ur nick! tt's all i hear nowadays! says:
u can prepare urself 4 disappointment

change ur nick! change ur nick! tt's all i hear nowadays! says:
but dun pre plan wats gonna happen in the future n feel depressed abt it

           *}{Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
heh.

           *}{Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
i guess that's what yj meant when i told her abt my plans for death.

change ur nick! change ur nick! tt's all i hear nowadays! says:
HELLO!!!!!!!!!

change ur nick! change ur nick! tt's all i hear nowadays! says:
DEATH??????!!!!!!!!!!!!

           *}{Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
uh yeah.

change ur nick! change ur nick! tt's all i hear nowadays! says:
R U MAD????

change ur nick! change ur nick! tt's all i hear nowadays! says:
NO WAY!!!!!!!!

           *}{Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
maybe i am.

change ur nick! change ur nick! tt's all i hear nowadays! says:
CHAMPA!!!!!!!!

           *}{Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
i dunno .

           *}{Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
i'm serious leo.

change ur nick! change ur nick! tt's all i hear nowadays! says:
U R NOT GONNA DIE!!!!!

           *}{Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
yes we are.

change ur nick! change ur nick! tt's all i hear nowadays! says:
understand me????!!!!!

change ur nick! change ur nick! tt's all i hear nowadays! says:
NO

change ur nick! change ur nick! tt's all i hear nowadays! says:
U R NT GONNA DIE

           *}{Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
we all die in the end.

change ur nick! change ur nick! tt's all i hear nowadays! says:
DO NOT EVEN THINK ABT IT!!!!

change ur nick! change ur nick! tt's all i hear nowadays! says:
NOt NOW at least

change ur nick! change ur nick! tt's all i hear nowadays! says:
in abt 40 yrs mayb

           *}{Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
leo, i wasn't thinking abt dying now...

           *}{Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
sheesh

           *}{Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
i was thinking at a certain age.

change ur nick! change ur nick! tt's all i hear nowadays! says:
u c!

           *}{Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
not now!

change ur nick! change ur nick! tt's all i hear nowadays! says:
u give ppl heart attacks by being depressed abt e future!!!

           *}{Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
i know that.

           *}{Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
i've been trying to pep myself up by saying that life's a brand new road everyday , so i should step on it.

change ur nick! change ur nick! tt's all i hear nowadays! says:
exactly!

           *}{Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
but if i still think that way, it's not working.

change ur nick! change ur nick! tt's all i hear nowadays! says:
wat?

change ur nick! change ur nick! tt's all i hear nowadays! says:
champa,

change ur nick! change ur nick! tt's all i hear nowadays! says:
u HAVE to take one say at a time!

change ur nick! change ur nick! tt's all i hear nowadays! says:
there is no other way to live!!!

           *}{Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
is it really?

change ur nick! change ur nick! tt's all i hear nowadays! says:
yea!

           *}{Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
i meant it as a rhetorical question , leo.

change ur nick! change ur nick! tt's all i hear nowadays! says:
but i answered anyway

           *}{Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
heh.

           *}{Rhiannon Merlin}{* let's fight....(stare as a huge wheel rolls into sight....with three idiots chasing it)      says:
maybe i'm just paranoid that i might not be remembered.

change ur nick! change ur nick! tt's all i hear nowadays! says:
u def will b!!

signs that i still have issues to work with.
sigh.

now i'm confused. who do i like?

Friday, May 11, 2007

believe it or not , there is actually a human underneath it.my cousin thought it'ld be a good idea to pile all the animals on top of her.

ah well....

can't wait for tomorrow!!! it'll be swell! i hope that we all look good and i hope that i would NOT walk into the damn wall....gods...i dunno how laxman takes it...well, he gets drunk so yeah.

anyway , abt today...

apologies to the ppl who thought i was quiet or feeling unwell....

it was stupid...

see , after yesterday , i thought it would be a good training session for me to do the " non smiling , non laughing "attitude. i wanted to be able to control myself and fight without getting the humour spoilt...so today, it was training session ...
unfortuantely i laugh pretty easy, so i began avoiding ppl who made me smile and laugh.

unfortuantely , as the grumpy faced kid walked out of the mrt, who should i meet by MELVIN. king of comedy.

he saw me too.

so i quicky did a running session.....that meant i ran from the mrt station to the bus interchange....nearly whacking a few little kids on the way.

and unfortuantely , i bumped into max there. so i quickly pretended NOT to see him.
also , i was grumpy faced all the way in class...was succeeding quite well, but ppl kept asking if i was unwell, or sad.
i told viha abt my training session and she was all,"mikey not smiling and laughing for the WHOLE DAY?tt's impossible!"

she had a point.my training session was broken by the time pe rolled around.

"haha! i thought so!"

viha knows me too well.

anyway , i have decided that i should not rely on ANYONE while i'm here. not even ppl i think of as friends.seems as though i still don't know when ppl are attacking me , or genuinely nice ppl.

i know myself too well too. sigh.

by the way i hate makeup. i have to wear it TOMORROW. ARGH!!!

Thursday, May 10, 2007

joanne leong had a meeting today, so that meant our lit lesson for today was cancelled. such a shame. but on the plus side , melinda , fiona , isabella , Christine , maxilla and i got to go to west mall to have a gallivanting session.

it was more of a eating session , as can be seen from the above . but hey , who complains?

still left slightly left out....i miss parrims , i miss ying jie , i miss viha , i even miss that irascible junior of mine , jy. and the debate team and the eldds in beatty. that's the only thing i missed in that damn school. i hated that place.
remember how ppl say that secondary school years are the best years?
it also happens to be the years which puberty starts ,and the hormone levels are uncontrollable....erm...not THAT WAY.

it also means a lot of ppl are insecure , which brings out the worse side in all of us.

i hate that.

anyway , coming back to the eating session....a lot of ppl seem to recognize maxilla, but he can't remember them! haha!!!

so an incident happened.

maxilla was talking to a bunch of secondary school boys ,and they were pretty chummy with each other..then later when they left , they turned back and waved at max's direction....max waved back....but then one of the girls had to bring down his dream of his finest hour, by saying,"max , they're waving at the ppl BEHIND you."

a tomato could not have gotten the pretty shade of red maxilla got.

had drama after that, we're improving!shoving sessions are fun, but then i keep smiling and laughing while doing so, and the teacher had to order us to REDO the scene.....oops...

sigh...but bad news on the horizon....Hand foot and mouth disease is on the rise...YJ in MI already got it , and fizah , left early today , due to both HFMD and chicken pox, the double whammy....sigh....

hopefully not too many ppl get sick....school was getting better.....especially hope that max doesn't get sick......my entertainment in school lies almost solely on him...no offense kay dude?

here's one reason why my entertainment is due to him...i can make fun of him by taking "scandalous pics"! apologies to fiona , who had no idea i took this....

the evil kid struck twice!

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Nth to report on maxilla, sorry about that.

anyway we had a great time in drama today.
we found a new way to do the beginning for the Institute day....we walk across the stage to our spots and freeze there , looking at our watches....

then we start the banging. only this time, we start shoving and elbowing trying to get to the middle....a bit like a rugby match....i think i can understand how maxilla feels when he does rugby....must hurt ten times worse....we also have to push each other out...as long as you don't throw him to the ground...after a few tries...we were already laughing....hey you try shoving patrick and james out and not laugh.....its too funny!
i felt slightly ridiculous in my outfit....guess i really dun look nice ...but dinesh was saying that ,"if only max could see you now..."

(very very defensive me goes....)<"shut up. thank god max isn't here, and thank god for rugby."

(well , obviously , i didn't go that far....but i was pretty thankful.)

ps .to you...forget what i said earlier...maybe i was wrong .maybe you don't like me. maybe i was overthinking life. i do that a lot.maybe i dunno what i want. if i keep asking myself ,"why you? and why me?" i think my brain would explode.

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

this question has been going through my mind

weird....why do i keep falling to that damned cesspool?

AND WHY YOU?
AND WHY ME?

i dunno whether to like you.
but do you like me?
maybe i do,
and so do you,
but can we make it through?

you are driving me nuts! i can't help but think about you......but then the flick stops and the adverts begin...by the time its over , i dunno whether to like you.
i like you, maybe. then the stupid question comes....do U like me?

maxilla was kinda happy that i mentioned him yesterday. and has made me do a daily blog entry on him.....

so i will obilge....by saying what happened today!

today we were all waiting outside the computer lab....i hink they call it o hub.....
then the teacher wasn't there...you know kids......tthey kinda talk loudly....and thus when a piercing scream was heard noone really noticed....

until a huge buffalo jumped and body slammed into me..

then the buffalo jumped again.....and we heard "get it off me!"

we found out bext what happened.

the girls had to settle him down as they tried to detach a bee off him......

haha!

of course , we got scolded, cause we were making a lot of noise.

went home at 1930pm....on the way while bouncing trains, i met melvin...has anyone mentioned he looks cool?

we went home together and nearly started a comedian routine....uhhuhuhhuhuhhuhuhuhyeahyeahuhuhuhuh............

such is the idiocy we indulge in......

Monday, May 07, 2007

logen posted this:

Posted on May 2, 2007

On my way home, I gazed into the distance and there it was. From where the bus had stopped, I could clearly see the familiar lighted orange roof of ‘Forty Storeys’ against Toa Payoh’s darkening skies. It immediately brought back dramatic images of that evening; grey swirling clouds, the sweet night-time zephyr and warm faces of friendship. However, I did not allow myself to be, once again, lost in that memory.

Quote, from ‘Stand By Me’ the movie: “In all our lives there is a fall from innocence. A time after which we’re never the same.”. With a blink of the eyes, the time has already come and gone but with few regrets. I had cherished that time; Forty Storeys memory, the business competition experience, crazy barbecues, my Secondary 2 Clan and the ‘family tree’.

Sighs… I appreciate the those distinct moments in life, for their impermanence. What an irony. Our fondest moment are those that spontaneously happen only once. They are also what history textbooks deem unimportant to include.

One day, I will stand amidst the heavens and smile to the past. Those memories shall be part of the huge chunk of unwritten history which molded my character. The same can be said of others. So long as we live, knowledge resulting from those memories, shall be passed. In that way they live on in future generations, though the origins, like our ancestors, are lost for eternity.

- Logish

my comment:
i was looking at this post for the last few days. i finally understand it. it’s wonderful that you can think that way, but what about those memories that are bad? would they go through the next generation as well? would the face the same problems their ancestors did? would history , like most ,repeat itself? dude,i’m in chaos here.sorry if i seem emo.

his comment:

Life is simply trial and error. Every person has to experience it, in order to learn; it is not something that can be learnt in a textbook. We can simply remember the words of the wise and truly get what they mean when you experience it.
We must learn from the mistakes made by both us and others. I find it easier to accept if you understand the mentality of those who oppress you. As Dumbledore (J.K. Rowling) said, through understanding comes acceptance.

Champa, the people who teased you in school, they act with ignorance of your true self and feelings. They put you down to make themselves feel and seem better. Everything happens for a reason, known or subconscious.

Your fear of hurts make you exceedingly paranoid. Understand why and accept, show compassion to their ignorance. You will feel better and be a better person

- Logen

hm....maybe he's right.

anyway today was great! i got hyper on coke! and gp was great if not for the lecturer.
math was really weird. the teacher was extra picky today. seemed as though he wanted to make amends to the times we slacked in his class.

anyway , maxilla says i don't write too much on him andgave me a kinda sad look.

so i'll write something abt him.

max wasn't paying attention in math class , seemed to be looking at neoprints, what he was doing with them , i do not know. so the teacher who was unfortunately very picky today , looked at him.
poor max looked like a tomato. he always does when we make him do a presentation. anyway , he's an ass. just today he wanted to look at my passport cause he wanted to see what a vietnamese passport looked like. i'm a singaporean citizen! argh!

also the kid is a real casanova, alwauys jumping from one girl to the next. maybe he's extra friendly. i dunno.i dun really care.

but that kid knows too many of my secrets. sigh....

okay maxilla ! i blogged abt you! happy?

Sunday, May 06, 2007

hey ppl , i found my old blog which i forgot to delete. i will be after i finish showcasing all my past posts.i cannot believe what kind of idiot i was in sec two and the beginning of sec3. what am i ? stupid?
that was so not me!

so....four years of blogging. i have indeed changed too much. i used to love the ppl in beatty. now i hate most of them.

wanna see the last of http://queenoflife.blogspot.com? the posts are below.

8/14/04
This is the best year of my life.Who knew 2 years ago that i was going to have the best frens of my life?I mean,when i was in pri 6, people will talk to me but not notice me .It was like i had gone invisible.Now ,every one knows who i am and they keep talking to me in school.
Even the teachers are doing the same . Every sec2 teacher that has taught me are actually talking about me in their classes.I feel flattered but this is too much some times!

11/23/04
aloha,all(actually none watsoeva)

i'm sorry i haven't been updating on this blog in months .i forgot the password and it took me foreva just to finish this account.....

LIAR!!!!!YOU HAVE THE PASSWORD YET U DIDN'T CHECK U'RE E-MAIL!!!!!!!mfft .mumble.eff.

that was casandra my cousin muscling in on my post .i dragged her away.

as i was saying ,i forgot the pasword to my account and lately due to exams and worries i have been ignoring this account.now that i think about it ,nobody has even noticed i have a blog......

THIS IS DUE TO THE FACT THAT U R A LONER AND HAVE NO FRENZZZZZZ.ARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i sincerely apologise for the interruptions made by this crazy cousin of mine......she got kicked out of the room the minute i saw her here.
She has a point though...i'm an anti-social person with a perchance of being silent at most gatherings.....
in school howeva i 've two best frens.... two best frens!!!!!! what more could i ask or??

HOW ABOUT A CERTAIN GUY CALLED *M* IN SCHOOL??????ARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

p.s. due to the fact the author of this blog has stalked off to murder her insane cousin with a chainsaw ,this blog has been temporarily stopped.
to be continued......

12/26/04

I miss Marco,although i'll never admit that to his face.

12/31/04

New year,new beginning,new crying jag

3/25/05
Today,i asked a fren of mine i f there will be a day ,when we'll lose our memory of who we are now and live in another identity.
He replied ,'Of course,yea"
That made me realize ,what happens if we do forget ourselves and become something that we thought was ridiculous in the past?Will we ever remember who we used to be?
Or even worse,whathappens if we actually turned into something dreadful?I stared at my frens reply and we talked abt what we were going to be when we grew up.
'i don't know ,maybe some bored to death lawyer who will be holed up in her office and forget abt how much fun she used to have.'i typed.'and you?'
'i think i'll go to JC ,then maybe university,but to tell u the truth,i don't want to go to university."
So i asked what was it that he wanted to be.
'A movie director!'he brightened.then his tone of writing sunk as he wrote,'then again,maybe not'
i asked him why he thought so.
'Nothing"
So i then wondered,will there be a time when i'll also forget my dreams?

Or worse,will i ever forget the dreams of the real me?

6/7/05

SIANSIANSIANSIANSIAN

I'm bored with nth to do........

i knew i should have gone to xian

Receieved a letter from Marco today.Very entertaining ,especially the part of him saying his fren Laura says he is not a nerd.

Perhaps it would be entertaining to tease him of this new predicament.

Should i?On one hand i get to say that Marco has a new girl fren .

On the other it proves that my teasing of him being gay later would become obselete.

Which?

NVM.At least i can now tease him about the new Duchess of Kent.

Bwahahahahahhahahahahhahahhahha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

no one did say i wasn't evil for nth.

Yesterday a couple of frens were shocked at the messages i wrote..
i would like to thank them 4 calling me or leaving me messages asking why i was depressed....
i would like to say that my unhappiness was due to the murder case of the poor Miss Liu......
As many know, her body was found drifting in the kallang river and chopped into little pieces.her feet are still missing ,though most of her body parts are already discovered.Then came the bomb shell.

SHE WAS MURDERED BY HER SUPERVISOR.
THE ONE THAT WAS HER MENTOR.

In this case,it really got to me.a person who Miss Liu obviously trusted killed her.

and then my overreacting mind started,as usual.overreacting,

What if i was killed by a fren i thought i trusted too?
ok not necessarily killed me,but betrayed me?

i mean that was obviously going to happen.Just look at the no. of people who want to kill me or hate me in school.
but a person i thought i trusted?

And then there was yesterday. a car trying to turn in had crashed into a National Oxygen truck.
right under neath the block i am now staying in.

the car had no chance.i saw it yesterday,boy, was it crushed.

the truck didn't even have a dent on it.

So u can pretty much understand y i was depressed yesterday.

Sorry old fren Marco.

if u r reading this ,pls hope that u forgive me and continue talking again.

Yesterday a couple of frens were shocked at the messages i wrote..
i would like to thank them 4 calling me or leaving me messages asking why i was depressed....
i would like to say that my unhappiness was due to the murder case of the poor Miss Liu......
As many know, her body was found drifting in the kallang river and chopped into little pieces.her feet are still missing ,though most of her body parts are already discovered.Then came the bomb shell.

SHE WAS MURDERED BY HER SUPERVISOR.
THE ONE THAT WAS HER MENTOR.

In this case,it really got to me.a person who Miss Liu obviously trusted killed her.

and then my overreacting mind started,as usual.overreacting,

What if i was killed by a fren i thought i trusted too?
ok not necessarily killed me,but betrayed me?

i mean that was obviously going to happen.Just look at the no. of people who want to kill me or hate me in school.
but a person i thought i trusted?

And then there was yesterday. a car trying to turn in had crashed into a National Oxygen truck.
right under neath the block i am now staying in.

the car had no chance.i saw it yesterday,boy, was it crushed.

the truck didn't even have a dent on it.

So u can pretty much understand y i was depressed yesterday.

Sorry old fren Marco.

if u r reading this ,pls hope that u forgive me and continue talking again.

Revenge killer

You kill for
revenge.
That is because you have lost something or
someone you held very dear. Now you can't seem
to get over the loss that marked your soul, and
the only solution is to go after the one person
who brought all this pain to you. Chances are
you are angry inside and you bottle everything
up and don't talk to anyone about it. People
may want to help, but you think that they can
never understand your pain and only get
frustrated because of this. But it is important
to see all that you have left and be thankful
of that even if you have lost something great.
It may not be true that Times heals all wounds,
but with time and talking about your feelings,
maybe the hurt will ease.

Main weapon: Yourself
Quote: "You can close your eyes to
reality but not to memories" -Stainslaw J.
Lec
Facial expression: Gritted teeth and
teary eyes

What Type of Killer Are You? [cool pictures]
brought to you by Quizilla

HASH(0x8b2d258)

You are the warrior anime girl.You are the type
that can start a fight and win.You are very
strong and can beat anyone up (but just don't
^_~) and some people can be afraid of you but
alot of people admire your strength and want to
be just like you well the people that want to
fight.You can defend yourself very easily and
can probably handle some kind of weapon.You
have a short temper(like me)and get angry
easily but you can be really nice at times
^_^and once a fighter always a fighter.

If You Were An Anime Character What Would You Look Like?(Girls Only)
brought to you by Quizilla

as you can see , my issues started way back in sec1 . gotta stop this. i'm getting too emo for my own good.i review my old crushes . marco. i liked you once cause you were funny. now , i dunno if you have changed...oh yeah , you have changed. we have all changed. heh.

ppl from MI . if you read this , then give me some slack when you see me.

Saturday, May 05, 2007

hm...just a note. my alter ego tried posting something here. except she got disconnected again. so i guess it was lucky she didn't succeed.cause she really was kinda emo.

Friday, May 04, 2007

for some reason, there was something wrong with the earlier post. so now i shall redo this.....

i woke up whimpering today.
not because of some nightmare which including me being hurt in the arm.
i woke up cause my cramped up right leg was hurting me...today was worse than the days before.

first , my left, then my right , now my right again!

pe seems to have made it worse...i'm skipping next wednesday's session....

anyway during drama today we had to ask ourselves ," what is madness?'

then we were blindfolded and made to seat in front of the video cam , and we were to say our view about it.only the lips were focused on i think. being blindfolded and made to sit in front of a video cam , with six seniors , many students and a teacher watching me made me feel really nervous. this must have shown on my face and the video , cause aaron commented ,"she looks distressed. that's good."

my views :

"madness is my one true fear. to fall into that whirlpool of indefinite matter , to lose all control , all morals everything is a total loss and frightening."

it was really scary being blind.

i almost forgot , an incident on thursday happened which made me laugh.

during econs , i decided that it'll be a good idea to sit next to max.
max is a real casanova , by the way...

anyway , i was copying notes from the board when max decided it would be a good idea to hold his notes in a really weird way .
i wasn't really noticing , cause i was copying the notes.

ms low , on the other hand , did.

"max , what are you doing?"

"erm....why are my notes not printed on the last page?'

"is that so?"

(max looks really sheepish now.)

"erm...max are you okay?"

"yeah , perfectly fine."

(looks really embarrassed now.)

i turn to him and ask, "what was that about?'

"i was trying to block your view."

(stare at him...then i start laughing.)

dinesh(britain) and max(france) are trying to "kill" and make me (vietnam)apologize to france for defying their flag.

bwahahahaha!!!!

ps. he seems to know that i seem to be happier and smiling more.

.......should i be flattered? that was nice of him.

(hehehehe.i'm troubled i guess, but its a weird trouble.)

Avril Lavigne:Runaway

Got up on the wrong side of life today yeah
Crashed the car and I'm gonna be really late
My phone doesn't work cause it's out of range
Looks like it's just one of those kind of days
You can't kick me down I'm already on the ground
No you can't cause you couldn't catch me anyhow
Blue skies but the sun isn't coming out no
Today it's like I'm under a heavy cloud

And I feel so alive
I can't help myself, don't you realize

I just wanna scream and lose control
Throw my hands up and let it go
Forget about everything and runaway yeah
I just want to fall and lose myself
Laughing so hard it hurts like hell
Forget about everything and runaway yeah

So So is how I'm doing if you're wondering
I'm in a fight with the world but I'm winning
Stay there come closer it's at your own risk
Yeah you know how it is life can be a bitch

But I feel so alive
I can't help myself, don't you realize

I just wanna scream and lose control
Throw my hands up and let it go
Forget about everything and runaway yeah
I just want to fall and lose myself
Laughing so hard it hurts like hell
Forget about everything and runaway yeah

Runaway Runaway....

I just wanna scream and lose control
Throw my hands up and let it go
Forget about everything and runaway yeah
I just want to fall and lose myself
Laughing so hard it hurts like hell
Forget about everything and runaway yeah

hello...just testing this....

Thursday, May 03, 2007

hello....i shall be emo today....and weird...

let's comtemplate the things i need to say...

melvin lives in admiralty and i just didn't realize it till today.which means i almost live next door!

cause sembawang and admiralty are next door stations.

kinda weird though.he's really weird but interesting.i have already made him my shifu!

haha.

and i think i have got to stop myself. i seem to have fallen again. to tt pool of love.

i got to stop. i did this before i have to stop.

i keep telling myself it's an infatuation...

its only a crush.only a crush.i won't find true love. i can't find true love...

stop all tt! you ppl are antagonising me aren'tcha?

argh!!!

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

PE was fantabulous today. we did 5bx , we did superman pose while singing the school song.

I HATE PE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i blamed max for this of course. remind me to apologize to him.cause my screwed up issues make me blame him. gotta do this , cause i feel kinda bad for giving him the cold anger shoulder.

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(meet the ultra paranoid , can't stop thinking too much , neurotic kid of 07A2 , Milliennia Istitute , Class of 2009.)

i'm like really aching all over.mind , body and soul.

i keep hurting ppl , cause i dun wanna let them get close.

if i see it coming, i deny it to the core.i won't let anyone near me. anyone gets too close can receive champa's sacarsm , which comes in six assorted sizes and five different colours.

i think it has got to stop.

the mental picture in my mind is a picture of a girl who has gotten hold of the cursed vase. she's holding the handles in her arms. the vase is causing the world to split into two and all evils are coming out.to stop it all the girl has to do is let go of the vase.

she can't let go.she is in too deep.

I can't let go.i'm in too deep.